Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis. She won't stop asking about the "hotdog" in the picture. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, someone sent a dick pic to my 16-year-old, lesbian daughter. She handed me her phone and asked, "What is that, a naked mole rat?" FML
Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML
Today, I took my daughter to a pony ride at the fair. I paid to have her picture taken, and when we got home, I emailed it to my mom. She replied, disgustedly pointing out that the pretty little pony was displaying a pretty little penis. FML
Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML
Today, my 17-year-old daughter has been sending and receiving videos and pictures of a sexual nature. I just had to wade through a ton of middle-aged dick pics as evidence for the police. FML
Today, my mother sent a picture that was meant for her husband. I cannot unsee what I have seen. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's 12-year-old son while his dad was having an emergency procedure at the hospital. I walked into the den to see if he wanted to go out to dinner, only to find him watching Pornhub on my iPad. FML
Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML
Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML
Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML
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Top comments
cocacola999 27
Technically, you can't even be sure it's her father's penis...
oj101 33
The iGeneration.
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Comments (94)
TheNewGuy03 29
At this point in time, that thing she saw is definitely a hot dog, and you can probably divert her inquisitiveness elsewhere, like flickering lights or giraffe nostrils. Anything but dicks.
ShyAnn29 15
Just say "Yep, that's a hotdog" then turn her attention to something else.
Bluekaren16 19
"I wish I had a million dollars. Hotdog!"
Vidrill 22
Of course you should try to make her forget about it, but little kids are often insistent. If she says something in front of her parents, just go ahead and tell the truth. It's embarassing but they will appreciate the honesty. It wasn't your idea to look through their things,anyway.
Enslaved 38
Someone's going to Sonic soon.(:
ultra_notorious 26
we're you impressed, did you wanna get down on it?
Brandonep 13
*were
AliceLockehart 18
It's the start of a sentence, so it needs a capital. *Were. I feel like an ass but I couldn't help myself >.>
ultra_notorious 26
autocorrect on the iPhone, plus I never capitalise (british spelling) on any posts
perdix 31
It's good to see parents doing something fun with the free time they get from hiring a babysitter. Let's hope Mom didn't send the picture with the cliched tag line, "Wish you were here."
jem970 19
Why would the mom send a picture of her husbands penis with the text "wish you were here"? That doesnt make sense. Why would her husband be aroused by his own erect penis?
chottu 16
59 - I think you completely missed what Perdix was trying to say.
ChazzyWazzy1998 10
Awkward much!:/
spliit_fml 8
Don't worry OP she'll forget about it soon, that's the great thing about kids.
iGottaFindBubbah 12
I'm sure she gave it a shot. But seriously, how do you explain that to a child?
80sgurl 15
We'll that's awkward, and I'm sorry you had to see that.