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who the fuck would do that to a perfectly good taco?

Plot twist: the reason the co-worker called in sick was to participate in a family tradition taco-smearing ritual! Dunh, dunh, dunh!!!!!

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Holy frijole, Batman!

Plot twist: the reason the co-worker called in sick was to participate in a family tradition taco-smearing ritual! Dunh, dunh, dunh!!!!!

Are you sure you don't want to do an FML Follow-Up and... TACO 'bout it? (Sorry I had to)

who the fuck would do that to a perfectly good taco?

People who know burritos are superior

I hate it when that happens.

And you had to spend the next 3 hours licking your car? Am I right, Nina?

What a bad day, I'm sure you don't want to taco bout it.

at least you didn't have to cook dinner

OP - Somebody was stupid or unbelievable clumsy who would do such a thing. At least you will get paid for the work time and taco residue should wash off in a car wash.

Call out the next day if you can and wash your car when you get a chance or ask somebody to do it for you