Miscellaneous: Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one...

By reedcarter - 04/12/2012 02:14

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 061

You deserved it 2 057

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Same thing different taste

By toosmall - 31/01/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 604

You deserved it 2 605

By longest minute - 25/05/2016 11:28 - United States - Cypress

Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 722

You deserved it 2 668

By ThoroughlyCreepedOut - 07/03/2010 00:22 - United States

Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 307

You deserved it 2 244

By not cool - 28/06/2013 05:16 - Australia - Sunnybank

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 806

You deserved it 3 177

Stranger danger

By Anonymous - 20/11/2014 16:35 - United States - Calhoun

Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying, "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 553

You deserved it 2 811

By the unfortunate man - 19/07/2013 04:29 - United States - Salisbury

Today, I was using the urinal when another guy came in. His friends decided to scare him while he was using the urinal next to mine. They jumped out at him, he turned around and ended up peeing all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 303

You deserved it 3 154

Dude! Boundaries!

By devinbyrne - 05/03/2011 20:26 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 729

You deserved it 3 758

By Anonymous - 12/08/2011 10:40 - Australia

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 153

You deserved it 2 967

By itwaswarm - 25/09/2015 21:04 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 602

You deserved it 1 754

By Jill - 09/04/2011 22:00 - United States

Today, I went into the women's bathroom and was warmly greeted by a man masturbating on one of the sinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 607

You deserved it 4 362

Mideoyeo 12

Tuesday 4 December 2012 11:41

He thinks he's punny, eh? Don't worry, people make ri-dick-ulous comments all the time OP!~

LSS_fml 18

Tuesday 4 December 2012 11:41

That man is hilarious... And a bit creepy.

Comments

dakotahulsey 15

Wednesday 5 December 2012 9:41

made me piss myself laughing

anonymousdancerx 6

Thursday 1 August 2013 8:29

You must learn to appreciate good humor. Silly mortal...

Comoke1024 19

Wednesday 8 January 2014 23:22

OHHHHHHHHHHH! I GET IT!

GalaxyShots 21

Wednesday 9 July 2014 6:17

It took me until reading the next FML to chuckle.

Ultimate_Batman 28

Tuesday 20 December 2016 20:50

was the man Deadpool by chance?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said, "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 499

You deserved it 12 724

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I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 4

The Top

Today, I set out to organize my media files over several old hard drives, but I got so engrossed in creating intricate folders and subfolders that I forgot what I was organizing in the first place. My computer is now a labyrinth of folders titled "Stuff," "Things," and "What is this even?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 493

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 526

You deserved it 6 559

Today, I'm a 34 year old male who just got given the sex talk on my Facebook timeline by my senile mother. 5ML

I agree, your life sucks 52 560

You deserved it 5 755

Today, in an effort to save some money, I attempted to paint my own house. Instead, I fell off the ladder and broke my dominant arm. Now I can’t work, brush my teeth, or even wipe my ass. My house is half-painted with stuff everywhere and I have 6 weeks to recover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 252

Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 555

You deserved it 27 858

Today, I got fired because I abruptly hung up on my boss while being pulled over for talking in a hands free zone. I also got a $300 fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 763

You deserved it 2 149

Same thing different taste

Stranger danger

Dude! Boundaries!

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