Miscellaneous: Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one...

By reedcarter - 04/12/2012 02:14

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

agreeclassic 26 105

vote type 1 2 065

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By toosmall - 31/01/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

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By longest minute - 25/05/2016 11:28 - United States - Cypress

Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML

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By ThoroughlyCreepedOut - 07/03/2010 00:22 - United States

Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML

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By not cool - 28/06/2013 05:16 - Australia - Sunnybank

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

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Stranger danger

By Anonymous - 20/11/2014 16:35 - United States - Calhoun

Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying, "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML

agreeclassic 33 582

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By the unfortunate man - 19/07/2013 04:29 - United States - Salisbury

Today, I was using the urinal when another guy came in. His friends decided to scare him while he was using the urinal next to mine. They jumped out at him, he turned around and ended up peeing all over me. FML

agreeclassic 53 346

vote type 1 3 156

Dude! Boundaries!

By devinbyrne - 05/03/2011 20:26 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

agreeclassic 46 779

vote type 1 3 765

By Anonymous - 12/08/2011 10:40 - Australia

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

agreeclassic 31 178

vote type 1 2 977

By itwaswarm - 25/09/2015 21:04 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML

agreeclassic 26 656

vote type 1 1 757

By Jill - 09/04/2011 22:00 - United States

Today, I went into the women's bathroom and was warmly greeted by a man masturbating on one of the sinks. FML

agreeclassic 49 658

vote type 1 4 377

Mideoyeo 12

Tuesday 4 December 2012 11:41

He thinks he's punny, eh? Don't worry, people make ri-dick-ulous comments all the time OP!~

LSS_fml 18

Tuesday 4 December 2012 11:41

That man is hilarious... And a bit creepy.

Comments

dakotahulsey 15

Wednesday 5 December 2012 9:41

made me piss myself laughing

anonymousdancerx 6

Thursday 1 August 2013 8:29

You must learn to appreciate good humor. Silly mortal...

Comoke1024 19

Wednesday 8 January 2014 23:22

OHHHHHHHHHHH! I GET IT!

GalaxyShots 21

Wednesday 9 July 2014 6:17

It took me until reading the next FML to chuckle.

Ultimate_Batman 28

Tuesday 20 December 2016 20:50

was the man Deadpool by chance?

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I was walking out of a bar when someone grabbed me by the throat, and slammed me against a wall, saying "Stop fooling around with my wife, because next time - I'll kill you." I'm gay and haven't been with a woman since 1985. FML

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Today, while mopping the kitchen, I ended up slipping and and knocked over the table that had my mom’s iPad on it. The screen shattered; I sprained my wrist. I asked my mom to take me to the ER. She called me "selfish" because her iPad screen repair would "cost more." FML

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vote type 1 128

Today, I found out the girl I gave my virginity to gave me gonorrhea. FML

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Today, I found out that when you hit the neighbor's dog with your car, they might chase you a mile with a shotgun. FML

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Today, the cute receptionist at a restaurant asked for our coats. I call my trench coat my "tent", due to its size. When I handed it over, I jokingly said, "I have a tent for you!" She started blushing and stuttering, and it wasn't until later that I realized "tent" is a synonym for "boner". FML

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Today, I bought a mini tracking device to attach to my wallet to keep me from losing it. Unfortunately, before I could put batteries in the tracking device, I lost it. FML

agreeclassic 20 910

vote type 1 9 378

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