Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I accidentally ate a cat treat instead of a cinnamon-glazed pecan. I thought it must have been burnt by the way it tasted, so ate a few more before I figured out my mistake and spat them out. FML
Today, I woke up at 2 a.m. needing a drink. Not only did my cat wake everyone up when I tripped over him, but I also spilled a whole gallon of milk on myself. FML
Today, my girlfriend accidentally put rubbish in the neighbour's bin. Then the old lady took all the rubbish out and threw it on the floor. I came out and tried to calm the situation, but then my girlfriend ran downstairs and tipped her cat food and cat milk bowls over. FML
Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML
Today, I was snuggling with my neighbors four week old kitten while babysitting their kids. I fell asleep, rolled over, and woke up next to a dead kitten. FML
Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML
Today, I was enjoying a rare lazy Sunday afternoon nap when I woke up to a loud thud. My cat, who had been silently plotting his next move, jumped on my chest and knocked over my glass of water. Now my entire bed is soaked, my phone is possibly ruined, and my cat is looking at me like I was the one who did something wrong. FML
Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML
Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
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Top comments
Cartera 10
Or you could do the right thing and explain what happened. Nice name though. Very original.
Pleonasm 36
What a catastrophe (had to be done)
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Comments (93)
Ameel_fml 19
Am I the only one confused by the spilled milk part? How would that make it "look natural"?
Quiet_one 22
Obviously, it's because milk is the cat equivalent of alcohol in people. He was trying to make it look like the cat had gone on a bender and passed out, because as any cat owner knows, that happens quite often. This is also why young kittens are so unsteady on their feet- they ingest nothing but milk, and therefore are always drunk until they transition to solid food. SCIENCE.
hurley12 30
You're a terrible person, just tell the truth!
Quiet_one 22
I don't understand how OP thought the milk would make anything look "natural." The best explanation I can think of is that OP has somehow gotten through life believing milk is some kind of magical "cat booze" and that cats are capable of going into the fridge and getting it for themselves. Maybe he should lay off the cartoons for a while.
Ceejay1 13
Wow ,I can't believe you staged a crime scene .
priest_of_war 10
The perfect murder
Enslaved 38
The movie "A Perfect Murder" was a modern remake of Alfred Hitchcock's film "Dial M for Murder". Same thing as "Cruel Intentions" vs "Dangerous Liaisons".
EUPHORlA 12
I feel horrible for laughing... But since it was just an accident you should've told the owner.
perdix 31
Wasn't the sick cat amped up and hella fun?
mnvikes 7
Don't worry about it. The cat should be fine. Just tell the owner you accidentally swapped foods.
catsie_fml 14
Hope he's okay!
buckdharma 38
Maybe to lighten the subject you could draw a penis on his forehead.