By Screwupify - United States
Today, while eating at a restaurant, I commented to the waiter about how large the pizza was. He then writes down his number, pats his crotch fondly, and informs me that "everything" I'm going to find at that restaurant is going to be big. He was serious. FML
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Top comments
  CFR  |  0

#90 they were talking about getting your comment buried. YDI

OP: just wow. He sounds like a manwhoredesperatepornstar
Make a comment about how cheap it is =)

  Scotland_111  |  0

He just wanted to give you full service and earn his tip,

On the other hand, It would of been fhl if you just looked him up and down and replied "no, looks like just the pizza is..."

  Joe2794  |  0

Please do not feed the trolls! They want reactions from you people and that's the only reason they do it! Don't reply to them and they'll get bored... I hope.

  DameGreyWulf  |  0

Maybe she meant that he was serious about wanting her to come over to his place?

If it was about the dick, though... Well I hear sometimes it hurts .... she can't really complain if she took him up on the offer, though

  XOfiestypixie  |  0

haha. I translated the FML as this:

OP: wow the pizza sure is big! *referring to pizza*
waiter: *writes down #* yes...there are other BIG things too here. *winks and pats crotch*
OP: *twitch*.

The waiter didn't ACTUALLY show his "stuff", just hinted that he's *big*.

  plexico  |  3

fiesty pixie,

I interpreted that "He was serious" to mean that somehow the OP had evidence that the waiter was not joking.

Of course, the normal assumption is that he was referring to his external genitalia. One really askew way to understand this is that he was talking about his prostate gland! Enlarged prostate -- DE-LIGHT-FUL!

  plexico  |  3

generalsmith2, I'm not stupid. I just try to read the FML's in the funniest way I can. If everyone took these things at face value, this would be a very boring place. All the posts would be "That sucks" and "YDI for being a whore."

  letitbe56  |  0

I don't think the police need to be involved here. It's not illegal to be gross or to ask someone out. This guy is disgusting, but not a criminal. Although he probably does deserve a reprimand for asking out a customer. There are some situations where it could be appropriate, but it doesn't sound like the OP was flirting with him.

  ohnoyouDINT  |  0

If the police had been called, they'd have told OP to stop wasting their time, take off the diaper, and put on her big girl pants. It's a sleazy come-on, not sexual assault.

  Emma_91  |  0

Looking at women and hitting on her are two completely different things. Since he is at work, if the OP reports him, he probably will be fired. It's totally not appropriate to do that to a customer.

  Xdanicat  |  0

#6, I really doubt the police would care. But his manager might. Even then, I wouldn't even report him. Although it's innapropriate, it's pretty funny. I would've laughed. OP, stop being so uptight. Just laugh it off.

  Intoxicunt  |  5

#96, um..."she's muslim or something"???
Ok, so what do Christians look like? Blonde hair, blue eyes, white skin, and a large golden cross?
I'm pretty sure you can't look at someone and tell their faith, except if they DO wear a large religious symbol or something.
Way to look like a judgmental moron.

  Emma_91  |  0

#130: She's wearing a hijab. (That's what it's called right?)
But still the fact that she's Muslim doesn't change the fact that 96 is a racist ass. :)

  Intoxicunt  |  5

Oh, sorry. I didn't notice. Oops.
But still, she looks like a well-adjusted person, and she lives in USA.
She's hardly going to fly a plane into some towers.
So yes, he is a giant racist ass. =]

  stolencookie  |  17

144- whoa, now. Who ever said anything about being a terrorists? The fact that that even comes to mind just because she is Muslim brings to question who the racist and discriminating one really is...