Today, while celebrating at my friend's birthday party, I fell down a flight of stairs, got into a fight with my flatmate, and ruined my friend's outfit after drinking too much. I'm expecting I'll need to find a new place to live tomorrow. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had to meet with my landlord to organise when he was coming to look at my flat and decide whether I get my deposit back. In the time it took to see him, my friend drank a bottle of vodka and vomited all over my room and knocked the window through. My landlord is coming in the morning. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML
Today, I found out that one of my university flatmates arrived early for Freshers Week, and had a party which involved the place being trashed. I'm going to lose some of my deposit for damage caused before I even arrived. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML
Today, I was at a friend’s birthday party. I slipped and fell onto the table of presents, knocking each one of them over, pulling a muscle in the process. My friend bitched me out for not being careful and “ruining” his presents. I got kicked out. FML
Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
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Top comments
spiderman0606 0
Why are you complaining about this? It's not like any of this was out of your control. You brought it upon yourself for drinking too much. You couldve not ruined your friends birthday by stopping the fight and leaving it for another time.
arghhhhhhh 0
YDI!
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Comments (70)
aardvarkish 17
Bang your head against the bowl three times and scream "There's no place like home!"
GiddyXD 0
no comment..
bossiercitybeast 0
how do u drink and not hold that shit u are a douche bag
lendahandmanda 0
I hate people who get into fights at other peoples parties. You sound like a drama hungry attention *****. Try looking where your going and not drinking so much. YDI.
topbanana 0
what is a flatmate????!!!
Monikabug 9
As I said before, A flatmate = A roommate.
Rosalie_Haostn 0
Monika lol I love how you calmly keep explaining this to people.When the name flatmate is really self explainitory. Flat= room Mate=mate; jeez I really think that some peoples brains are mush or maybe they're just idiots. -_-
Monikabug 9
ツ thanks Rosalie. Yeah, I don't know. Some people just don't know that a flat is like an apartment, I guess. They should get it by now, though. But if anyone else wants to know, feel free to ask, again. LOL
topbanana 0
ooo thank you very much monikabug!! (:
Monikabug 9
you are very welcome, topbanana! ツ
KurouTenshi 0
people in UK are so weird. why would you celebrate the birthday party and not the actual annual day of birth?
Free_Hugs10 0
I hadn't noticed that! haha. Good catch.
jeniilouise 0
she said celebrating AT the birthday party not celebrating THE birthday party so she wasn't celebrating the party :)
SarcasticAvenger 9
And people wonder why I don't drink. YDI!
crazy4jeter 0
YDI! Perhaps if you'd acted more maturely you wouldn't be in this situation! Know your limit..
Giorgio272 2
well sounds like your a complete moron. ydi and I hope you never have kids. the world could def use less of you.
Domonator 16
So many alcohol-related FMLs can be *distilled* to the following: "I drank alot and bad shit happened. FML" OP, you, and those like you, are fuktards who most certainly deserve the consequences of your choices and actions. To bad for those around you. You ****** with their lives.
Brittanysway420 0
OP this is your own damn fault, and should stop getting so piss drunk you can't handle yourself! Before you don't have any mates or pals or whatever you call em (friends)!!