Today, while celebrating at my friend's birthday party, I fell down a flight of stairs, got into a fight with my flatmate, and ruined my friend's outfit after drinking too much. I'm expecting I'll need to find a new place to live tomorrow. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I had to meet with my landlord to organise when he was coming to look at my flat and decide whether I get my deposit back. In the time it took to see him, my friend drank a bottle of vodka and vomited all over my room and knocked the window through. My landlord is coming in the morning. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML
Today, I found out that one of my university flatmates arrived early for Freshers Week, and had a party which involved the place being trashed. I'm going to lose some of my deposit for damage caused before I even arrived. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML
Today, I was at a friend’s birthday party. I slipped and fell onto the table of presents, knocking each one of them over, pulling a muscle in the process. My friend bitched me out for not being careful and “ruining” his presents. I got kicked out. FML
Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
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Top comments
spiderman0606 0
Why are you complaining about this? It's not like any of this was out of your control. You brought it upon yourself for drinking too much. You couldve not ruined your friends birthday by stopping the fight and leaving it for another time.
arghhhhhhh 0
YDI!
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Comments (70)
I_am_stupid_also 6
Today, I did something really idiotic, but you know it wasn't my fault because I was drunk. Burp.
XCaLX_fml 0
i gotta ask 16 whats ur pic of
muserule99 0
OMG shut up. We all had the stages being 15-16 going out and drinking like an idiot. Then learning that its not cool or fun and to drink in moderation by the time u hit 18. Other wise clubs would be full of 18year olds throwing up on eachother, there's always the odd retard, but on the whole ok. So give her break it obv aint normal or she wud be FMLing every weekend
ImaginaryFoe 1
Most people with their own flat are over 18 so either OP skipped her 15 - 16 drnking binge stage or she didn't learn from it. Anyway, just because other people make similar mistakes, it doesn't mean OP doesn't deserve it. Anyone that drinks until they do something they regret deserves what happens (that includes me).
CoolChik 5
Ah, the joys of alcohol... Hopefully everyone else was also so pissed out of their minds that they completely forget about who did what. Yeah right. I recommend finding a party house where such behavior is not only acceptable, but encouraged. =)
Bizzatch 0
I'm curious to see how many more morons are going to ask what a flatmate is after it's been defined literally twice and in the content of the original post (yeah I have to spell out OP because apparently some people don't know what the **** that is either)
epound28 0
OP you dickfuck, YDI for drinking. You irresponsible **** waste of space and water.
metalhead256 0
hahahahaHA your stupid
Itwasntmyfault 0
You do realise they edit these from the original post? The reason I got into a fight was because my flatmate started the fight, not with me, with my friend who's birthday it is, I intervened. I hadn't had very much to drink at all, but I did spill the drink and fall down the stairs (twice), because I'm clumsy. But apart from that I probably did deserve it, and have the bruises to show for it.
H0llyw00dWh0r3 0
Haha. You've got a lot in common with my friend who constantly falls down the stairs. She does it like a pro though, lands and doesn't even make a noise. ;]
playnejayne 0
YDI for being Welsh.
Psychs7 11
@itwasntmyfault, i think your changing it to make people agree with you because when they don't sympathise with your tears you get frustrated. And you think that people agreeing with a twisted version of the truth somehow justifys your original actions? correct me if i'm wrong im just wondering
Itwasntmyfault 0
My original post went something along the lines of: "Today, I went to a club. I managed to get into a fight with my housemate, fall down the stairs twice, spill my drink over (my own) new dress and ruin my friend's birthday. I now have cuts on my arm and bruises on my leg, a ruined new dress, a friend who won't talk to me and need a new place to live. FML" (I didn't mention anything that I was drunk, but for the record I wasn't because I left early in cuts and bruises! I am very clumsy...)