Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by bringing him some dinner. He made the same noise unwrapping the burger that he does when he sees me naked. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend where he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No, I mean at Wendy's. You know, the hot girl from work?" FML
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML
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Top comments
lrb081 0
what did you expect? few things rank above sex... and bacon is one of them lol
Mx_Rider 6
p.s have him eat a baconater while he bones u doggystyle :D
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Comments (86)
Funkengine12 0
To those of you who say that the guy's a douch, all I can say is: Have you never had a Baconater? True, it skims three years off your life, but it does it wonderfully.
perdix 31
I'm not saying the guy's a douche, I'm saying the girl should use a bacon-flavored douche and make him eat her pussy. He'd get that great bacon-y flavor and she'd get sexual gratification. I'm thinking win-win, just like Stephen Covey wants me to. Of course, it would help if she had BIGGIE ****.
XaosZaleski 0
I call for pictures of the girlfriend. Only then, can we, the FML community, determine whether or not the Baconator is indeed, better than you are :)
gpstyne 0
do you give him bacon to eat while plowing you? Didnt think so, you'll live
freeball 0
Men are pigs, but we do like our pork
poeticvibez07 0
funkengine lolololol high 5 to you
HotSauce_fml 0
Baconators are ****** delish.
TheRoker 0
haha the baconator lol
brunette250 0
haha, my boyfriend moans while eating a Baconator as well, kinda odd.. it must be a guy thing.
SupremeO 0
It's true. Ever hear the phrase "a way to a man's heart is through his stomach"? Thats because we have two appetites, BACON and MAKING BACON. Someone, please combine the two :D
emilialoriana_fml 0
sucks for yo
Music131 0
wtf? was he like "OMNOMNOM! IM GONNA EAT YOU, YOU NASTY BURGER! OH YEAH, BABY! (NOM NOM) SLURP" xD