Work: Today, I discovered that I needed to reapply for my job in order...

By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I discovered that I needed to reapply for my job in order to have a chance at keeping it. The applications closed yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30030

You deserved it

5931

Favorite

Work

Serious times

Rock, hard place

Send virtual hugs

By justno - Canada - Mississauga

Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58102

You deserved it

5253

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband's daughter told us that she's 5 months pregnant. I'm going to be a step grandmother and I'm only 23 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23081

You deserved it

48120

Favorite

By yikes78 - United States

Today, I went to Macy's to buy some bras. After I paid, the old lady cashier noticed there was pen on one of the bras. By accident I blurted out "It's alright. No one's seeing them." The old lady nodded back in agreement. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45630

You deserved it

10452

Favorite

By badmom - Canada

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

I agree, your life sucks

134592

You deserved it

80348

Favorite

By MrZhang - Australia

Today, I had an interview with IBM. For a week I did extensive research and preparation for the interview. At first the interview was going really well. I was hitting all the marks. Then just as a final casual question she asked with a smile "What does IBM stand for?". I didn't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39332

You deserved it

26446

Favorite

By caughtorangehanded - United States

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20801

You deserved it

46141

Favorite

By jellymoon14 - United States

Today, after being recently laid off at work due to "cutbacks", I went job searching around town. During my drive, I cruised past my old workplace and saw a "now hiring" sign in their window. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37749

You deserved it

4020

Favorite

By anon - United States - Hinesville

Unconditional support

Today, my girlfriend told me she'd support my decision to stay in, or get out of the military, so I renewed my contract...... She broke up with me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2123

You deserved it

280

Favorite

By dumb - United States

Today, I found out that I was held back in preschool because of some developmental issues. My parents didn't think it was important enough to mention it to me. Why hadn't I figured it out? They also lied to me about how old I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks

75273

You deserved it

4558

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML

I agree, your life sucks

74879

You deserved it

8398

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Palmdale

Today, my boyfriend of several years, and father of our one-year-old child, finally proposed. He was making idle conversation from twenty feet away and casually said, "By the way, you wanna get hitched?" This is as romantic as my life will ever get. Yay. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27057

You deserved it

9579

Favorite

By Silbax1 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, I overheard my co-workers talking about how they don't need flu shots because everyone else gets them. These people are in the medical industry. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35415

You deserved it

3464

Favorite

By lonelyengineer - Germany

Today, I sat in the cafeteria at work and saw a girl, which is a rare sight at my workplace, from the back with a beautifully long ponytail. After a full hour of building up courage to perhaps say hi to her, she turned around. It was a 50-year-old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15988

You deserved it

32043

Favorite

By Bug - Canada - Ajax

Today, I fell down the stairs. Lying on my back in extreme pain, I called my mom for help. When she came over, she said I looked like a dead bug, took a picture and posted it on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26988

You deserved it

2408

Favorite

By carriageway - 31/1/2020 01:00 - United States - Newport News

After sleepover

Today, I was at a sleepover for a friend's birthday. It was great, but after sleeping on their pull out couch, I woke up with six pimples on my face and a rash on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1932

You deserved it

182

Favorite

By Btdtgts

Today, I had to take out the grease traps from our fryers. A very rude co-worker cut me off, so I had to abruptly stop and try to prevent as much spilling as possible. Luckily, it only spilled on me. I'm here for six more hours with burned, smelly, greasy spots all over my skin and clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4497

You deserved it

311

Favorite

By EdgardoP - United States - Allentown

Today, I got a cramp while swimming. It took the lifeguard 5 minutes to stop flirting with a girl before trying to help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29215

You deserved it

3518

Favorite

By anon - United States - Pleasantville

Today, one of my coworkers asked if I hated my life and was depressed because of how I look most of the time. This is just my facial expression. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42075

You deserved it

4985

Favorite

By kfoehslfns - United States

Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39333

You deserved it

12657

Favorite

By fothermuckerrr - United States

Today, my best friend told me that she is only my friend because she is prettier than me and being my friend boost her confidence. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33957

You deserved it

3273

Favorite

By Ellie - United States - Mission

Today, I dreamt that I beat someone up for using Comic Sans in a project. Now I can't look at him without being irrationally angry. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37279

You deserved it

7082

Favorite

By lonelyguy - Puerto Rico

Today, I invited my crush to come and spend thanksgiving dinner with me and my family, she agreed but asked me if she could bring her friend. Turns out her "friend" was actually her boyfriend and they drank all the expensive wine I bought. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32731

You deserved it

8017

Favorite

By Failed Parent - United States

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27812

You deserved it

4599

Favorite

By Nick Nameous - United States

Today, I celebrated the new year. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24155

You deserved it

5261

Favorite

By pmony - United States

Today, I got stuck in a revolving door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24288

You deserved it

9683

Favorite

By peapapeanut

Today, after months of my best friend telling me we were going to be roommates and moving to a new city together, with me trusting her, she ditched me because “everyone” told her not to live with me. She’s still moving, and we’re going to be in the same school and class. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1559

You deserved it

122

Favorite

By gng2fckngkilluyoufckngfckr - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me. I also found out that my best friend knew about it all along. When I confronted him, he tried to justify the betrayal by saying that she paid him to keep quiet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26317

You deserved it

1967

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was laying in bed with the covers over me, when I got an itch on my leg. It felt really good to scratch it so I got really into it. At that very moment my mom walked in, saw me doing a back and forth motion under the covers, gave me a look of disgust, and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30809

You deserved it

5842

Favorite

By picklemonger - Canada

Today, I walked out of the store, car keys in hand, only to discover my car was missing. After a frantic search, I started to hyperventilate and a nearly had a full-blown panic attack. Then I remembered I walked to the store. I am an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24563

You deserved it

33347

Favorite

By barbieissocute - United States - Elizabethtown

Today, I flipped out with happiness over the new Barbies. I want to buy one. I'm almost 26. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17472

You deserved it

6602

Favorite

By jacie

Today, I tried on a pair of pants in a dressing room and they didn’t fit. However, my period came suddenly and left a massive bloodstain, so I had to buy them anyway. In case you’re wondering, the pants were white, the cashier was male and cute, and he definitely noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3109

You deserved it

348

Favorite

By I'maboutobarf - Australia

Today, my mum got a new blender. Dinner was roast beef, broccoli, cauliflower, pumpkin, potatoes and water. In a cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40132

You deserved it

2768

Favorite

By Anonymous

Excitation morning

Today, while I was in bed, my cat licked my nipple. It turned me on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1818

You deserved it

619

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Aylesbury

Today, I tried waxing for the first time. At first it felt like I'd dipped my balls in a furnace. Now I can't even feel them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41387

You deserved it

22988

Favorite

By Wow - United States

Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28469

You deserved it

8831

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got in an argument with my boyfriend, who recently had to move away, about not calling enough. Apparently his moving had meant that we were now taking a break, he just forgot to talk it over with me. He still wants to visit, and keep the relationship in bed alive though. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30442

You deserved it

4326

Favorite

By a_B_c_D_e_F_g - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. I opened my eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else. I turned my head to see what was so interesting. He was on his iPhone looking up recipes for things to wrap in bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

61988

You deserved it

7574

Favorite

By Alaska - United States

Today, I was taking a poop when I heard a window in my house break. Then, I heard things dropping upstairs. I decided to stay in the bathroom, which has a lock, and called the cops. Turns out it was just a bird that was trying to get at my fish in the fish tank that I have in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21787

You deserved it

2494

Favorite

By scheisse - Germany - Herne

Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of my friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26280

You deserved it

67362

Favorite

By ohno - United States

Today, when I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were 3 girls loudly discussing blow job techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

I agree, your life sucks

15270

You deserved it

29461

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By thrawg | 0

#640711 - Tuesday 27 October 2009 2:18

u can click on both

By xxcrazybestiexx | 0

#640661 - Tuesday 27 October 2009 1:55

At these times I wish they had a both button. You should have known something that important. However, that really does sucks. So YDI and FYL.

COMMENTS

By mauthem | 0

#640614 - Tuesday 27 October 2009 1:30

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Yarrachel | 16

#640617 - Tuesday 27 October 2009 1:32

I wish I was as cool as you.

pinktiger | 0

#640630 - Tuesday 27 October 2009 1:41

so do i. #1, omg, what an accomplishmenttt. i wish i was totally you

dcbog123 | 0

#640716 - Tuesday 27 October 2009 2:20

ydi it for being a dumba** c*ntface

By PunxsatownyPhil | 0

#640635 - Tuesday 27 October 2009 1:43

Sorry. What happened? Temporary position?

By the_stereotype | 0

#640648 - Tuesday 27 October 2009 1:48

YDI for not knowing your company was trying to fire you, and all they had to do is have a deadline

By xxcrazybestiexx | 0

#640661 - Tuesday 27 October 2009 1:55

At these times I wish they had a both button. You should have known something that important. However, that really does sucks. So YDI and FYL.

thrawg | 0

#640711 - Tuesday 27 October 2009 2:18

u can click on both

By lavacave | 0

#640667 - Tuesday 27 October 2009 1:56

Lol! That happened to me once. It really sucks. Ah, and it was such a sweet job as well :-(

By bon_jour_fml | 0

#640679 - Tuesday 27 October 2009 2:02

sad :(

By resonant14 | 0

#640710 - Tuesday 27 October 2009 2:15

YDI for not applying yourself.

By perdix | 29

#640750 - Tuesday 27 October 2009 2:47

No boss, manager or co-worker reminded you?

They probably all wanted that outcome. YDI for not being more sociable.

DenBriZel | 31

#5982969 - Saturday 21 June 2014 9:38

or likeable..

By minimedanielle | 0

#640766 - Tuesday 27 October 2009 2:56

how did u not know about it

By Superawesomestev | 0

#640802 - Tuesday 27 October 2009 3:22

yes, how did you not know about this? do tell.