Animals: Today, when I was at my girlfriend's house, I farted and blamed...

By kittydead - 29/01/2009 01:05 - Canada

Today, when I was at my girlfriend's house, I farted and blamed it on the cat. I forgot the cat died 2 weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 933

You deserved it 37 293

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Same thing different taste

Convoluted

By Anonymous - 14/11/2023 04:00

Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 672

By jf29 - 31/01/2009 00:49 - United States

Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 642

You deserved it 46 760

By Urinator - 16/09/2015 18:26 - United Kingdom - Inchture

Today, I invited a girl back to my house and she seemed cool. I then left to go to the toilet. When I came back, there was a giant wet patch on the rug. The girl then blamed it on my dog, whose picture is on the wall. My dog died last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 732

You deserved it 1 911

By nullpointer - 03/08/2016 04:38 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I farted so loud that my cat thought that I was growling at him, and bit me in self-defense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 800

You deserved it 1 974

By CHStennis_4 - 03/09/2011 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 295

You deserved it 3 863

Blame the pooch

By anamota89 - 11/05/2012 09:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 336

You deserved it 32 285

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 00:06 - Canada - Newmarket

Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 693

You deserved it 2 201

By Mellamononeyobiz - 13/01/2016 02:10 - United States - Hooper

Today, my mom smoked pot in my sister's bedroom while I was at school. When I noticed the stench, she blamed the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 145

You deserved it 1 628

By Catremorse - 01/08/2019 14:00 - United States - Centreville

Today, my cat was laying on my chest while I was in bed. I farted, which my closed legs seemed to amplify. My cat was so scared, she used me as a launching pad and cut my chest in three places with her claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 549

By silentbutdeadly - 27/04/2009 22:04 - United States

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. His dog, Baxter, has a bad farting problem. I decided it would be okay to let a silent fart out and blame the dog. Baxter was outside when I blamed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 995

You deserved it 77 602

chelseybuns 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 22:29

Wow. your that lame you can't remember when your love of your life/girlfriends cat dies... how sympathetic. And to fart wow. You totally stink dude. :(

hatinglife 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 8:04

Wow you're a dumbass

Comments

jrkarikas 0

Sunday 9 May 2010 3:40

haha ur a dumbass!

Mixmziebell 0

Thursday 27 May 2010 2:46

I like how the name Is deadkitty

icy37 10

Wednesday 8 September 2010 11:39

how can a cat even fart? man up its just a fart

brenkite 5

Wednesday 18 April 2012 1:55

Cat ghost farts smell terrible.

telli164 30

Friday 7 February 2014 11:06

Everyone farts. Sad story of life

it__happens 17

Monday 17 February 2014 7:10

That's sad :( it's always so sad to hear that kitties die

tehstarchild 16

Friday 7 November 2014 0:23

It's like you were making a joke about the cat

soccerbeast24680 8

Monday 27 April 2015 21:35

about to be single!

The_Bengineer 13

Saturday 30 May 2015 2:15

Hopefully you were able to play it off as a joke!

tiredofwaiting 25

Friday 24 July 2015 8:02

Nothing to be ashamed about. We all fart.

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The Top

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196 622

You deserved it 34 712

Today, I hooked up with a guy I know from the gym. This dude is built like The Hulk, over 6 feet tall and almost 24 stone. We were really getting into it when he slipped and his whole weight went onto my knee, which bent completely the wrong way and dislocated everything. FML

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You deserved it 119

The Top

Today, after complaining that I had nothing to write about in my weekly journal for college, my professor suggested in front of everyone that I should get a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 909

You deserved it 6 725

Today, I was interviewed by a WalMart employee for a position in their pharmacy. I didn't get the job. I was more qualified than the woman who gave me the interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 718

You deserved it 323

Today, my boyfriend of seven years dumped me because he said my cheeks getting way too fat for his taste and he didn't want to be with a chipmunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 680

You deserved it 7 670

Today, while getting a dental filling, the fire alarm sounded. The plaza was evacuated and we had to stand outside in the cold for 2 hours. The anesthetic wore off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 59

Today, Facebook stopped working and I realized how emotionally dependent I am on social media. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 1 037

Today, I met my new roommate. I also met her stuffed animals, who introduced themselves to me. My roommate makes inanimate objects talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 217

You deserved it 4 332

Same thing different taste

Convoluted

Blame the pooch

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