Animals: Today, I invited a girl back to my house and she seemed cool....

By Urinator - 16/09/2015 18:26 - United Kingdom - Inchture

Today, I invited a girl back to my house and she seemed cool. I then left to go to the toilet. When I came back, there was a giant wet patch on the rug. The girl then blamed it on my dog, whose picture is on the wall. My dog died last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 761

You deserved it 1 919

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

By kittydead - 29/01/2009 01:05 - Canada

Today, when I was at my girlfriend's house, I farted and blamed it on the cat. I forgot the cat died 2 weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 937

You deserved it 37 320

Bad boy

By Really - 14/05/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 90

By marymark - 13/04/2012 01:02 - United States - West Long Branch

Today, I woke up to a note from my parents saying we needed to talk. Assuming it was about the weed I'd left on my dresser, I quickly confessed. Turns out my dog died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 127

You deserved it 39 010

What happened?

By nayahbear24 - 27/08/2014 22:52 - United States - Trenton

Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said, "Oops." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 220

You deserved it 3 929

What happened here?

By Lisa - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I came home from my vacation. My sister had been taking care of my dog and my apartment while I was away. As I walked in, I was greeted by a floor covered in poop and a destroyed couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 021

You deserved it 336

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 00:06 - Canada - Newmarket

Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 719

You deserved it 2 205

By jf29 - 31/01/2009 00:49 - United States

Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 645

You deserved it 46 809

Dusty Springboard

By Anonymous - 01/07/2009 04:31 - United States

Today, I left my dog alone in the house for ten minutes while I took a shower. When I got out I found a mess of dust all over the floor and her ripping up a package that was supposed to be sent to my aunt. It contained my grandmother's ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 872

You deserved it 7 940

This means war

By Anonymous - 24/12/2023 16:00 - United States - New York

Today, after I spent the evening at a girl's house that I'm seeing, I woke in the morning and put my pants on to leave, only to have her dog's poop roll out of the leg of my pants. This wouldn't be so bad if last week the same dog hadn't left the same treat right where I step when getting out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 155

By jrad - 08/09/2010 19:23 - United States

Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 852

You deserved it 3 554

dezman2000 21

Thursday 17 September 2015 7:21

It used to be "My dog ate my homework" not "Your dog peed on the floor" What has our world come to

AyeJay101 25

Thursday 17 September 2015 7:29

I don't even know what to say... I guess new requirement in a partner is if they're potty trained?

Comments

dezman2000 21

Thursday 17 September 2015 7:21

It used to be "My dog ate my homework" not "Your dog peed on the floor" What has our world come to

igive 29

Thursday 17 September 2015 7:48

That's a step above blaming a fart on the dog.

brownapple 22

Thursday 17 September 2015 13:10

catastrophic nervousness

Sansa_fml 38

Thursday 17 September 2015 13:47

yeah being lazy is one thing, but peeing on the floor is just weird and nasty.

TommyG493 11

Thursday 17 September 2015 15:31

rub her nose in it

bobslawnservice 16

Thursday 17 September 2015 15:58

Kinky.

DerrickJames 33

Thursday 17 September 2015 7:21

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

larrena2377 26

Thursday 17 September 2015 10:18

Obviously the dog.

wanted_2_want 40

Friday 18 September 2015 5:39

This time was the "bitch"

margehh 10

Friday 18 September 2015 5:41

Well the title is "urinator" so I'm guessing she peed on his floor

Nathan_Henry 15

Thursday 17 September 2015 7:22

Well that must have been awkward

Kibblesnbitsss 10

Thursday 17 September 2015 7:22

I'm so sorry for your loss, OP!

CynicallyAlive 13

Thursday 17 September 2015 7:22

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

MyGFisaturd 23

Thursday 17 September 2015 7:23

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

leogachi 15

Thursday 17 September 2015 7:35

@6 It was his carpet, not his bed.

Exvolmag 6

Thursday 17 September 2015 7:36

Maybe if you actuallt read the FML you would see that he said it was Rug she pissed on, not the bed.

Aedan888 25

Thursday 17 September 2015 11:32

It wasn't a bed it was a rug.

LiteralxShit 15

Thursday 17 September 2015 7:24

She got wet for you?

AyeJay101 25

Thursday 17 September 2015 7:29

I don't even know what to say... I guess new requirement in a partner is if they're potty trained?

FalloutScrolls 25

Thursday 17 September 2015 7:32

I'd just be like "Get out, or I will throw you out." What the flying ****!?

ryannmichael 17

Thursday 17 September 2015 7:35

Put her on a leash & call her your new dog

bdsmslave 18

Thursday 17 September 2015 9:08

This comment excites me on so many levels...

Chicagoillinois 18

Thursday 17 September 2015 16:44

Dirty xD both of you. I like it

Xeebar 28

Sunday 20 September 2015 6:12

Seeing this comment had my mind rewording it to "Put her on a leash & collar your new dog."

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I agree, your life sucks 40 881

You deserved it 4 604

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I agree, your life sucks 47 790

You deserved it 15 189

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 199

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I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 205

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I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 878

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I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 101

Today, my abusive ex-boyfriend contacted me for the first time in almost 14 years, to apologize for how he treated me while we were still together. It brought back all the old memories that I thought I had finally overcome, and made me have such a bad panic attack that I had to go to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 158

Today, I realized that over the course of this winter, there have been more snow days in Atlanta than days in which I have ever been on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 913

You deserved it 5 164

Same thing different taste

Bad boy

What happened?

What happened here?

Dusty Springboard

This means war

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