Amanda
Canada
Today, when I got home, my child had three bruises. My babysitter's excuse? "She hit me first". FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
rachelllynne
Manchester, United Kingdom
Today, the woman I babysat for blamed me for the cut on her son's face, and fired me with no pay for not looking after him properly. He already had the cut when I arrived. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Smash the patriarchy!
Today, I got home to my son with a bruised face and my daughter locked in her room. Apparently, when she got home from work, her unemployed brother asked her when she was going to cook dinner, so she punched him in the head. He’s so entitled that he actually thought he’d get sympathy from me. FML
anon
United States
Straight to jail
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
mandy
United States
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
ddhaley1
This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff
Edmond, United States
Sorry sweetie
Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML
angry mama
The Headmaster Ritual
Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML
unknown
United States
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
uterurist
Saint Paul, United States
Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML
little_star78
Bloomfield Hills, United States
Evil child
Today, I tried to put the little girl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her down when she made a mad dash for the basement stairs, slipped on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stairs. FML
ournhd
United States
Today, I got bailed out of jail. I was there because I saw a girl being hit by her boyfriend. I rushed over to help only to have her hit me repeatedly. The cops came and she blamed her bruises on me. The boyfriend corroborated her story. FML
Top comments
Cysioland 8
I think you should sue her to death
waffule365 16
Maybe you could give the babysitter a few bruises.
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Comments (212)
Catkam623 27
Shoot her and say she looked at me first. -cop: seems like a legit reason
TheRandomIndian 17
That makes no sense
Pleonasm 36
Wow. Get rid of her straight away. She hit a child she was supposed to be caring for? You might as well report her or something for that.
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
Damn. Babysitter ****** up if Pleonasm didn't make a joke or pun
mk58 31
I feel like OP just got the 12 year old neighbour to babysit.
Gmoney333 4
I'm 12 an I don't think that a 12 year old would do that! No I KNOW a 12 year old would do that!
BlowinChronic 18
You know a 12 year old would do that?
mk58 31
When I say a 12 year old, I mean someone who is immature and therefore incapable of not acting childish.
xninix_fml 36
@114 why on earth are you on this site? Your 12...
tinysocks 11
Hope your child is alright!!
TiddleyMoney 7
looks like someone is applying for unemployment tomorrow!
tialeanne 19
Unless the babysitter was hired through a professional staffing agency, she wouldn't be able to file for unemployment for getting fired from a tax-free job.
TiddleyMoney 7
it was kind of a joke. not meant to be taken in a literal sense...
alwayswinning123 7
Have her arrested and press charges, that's child abuse
Kiki242 19
Break her face in.
truesarrif 33
Granted you may have never suspected the babysitter to be capable of this prior to it happening.. but these days you never know. I say invest in a nannycam. they are cheap and video evidence doesn't lie
TiddleyMoney 7
well, the babysitter kinda already just told OP that she hit the kid. you don't really need video surveillance
truesarrif 33
I was referring to in the future.
TiddleyMoney 7
I had realized that like a second after I posted my reply... and on that note... I agree with you kind sir.
alex_m13 3
the child probably deserved it
Michael_92 20
Are you ******* serious? It's not your child and you have NO right to lay a hand on the child. I hope you never babysit.
Momo_Moonlight 25
****. Fire the babysitter. Then sue her to hell.