By ournhd - 13/11/2009 06:11 - United States
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It may have been the MORAL thing to do, but it wasn't exactly the SMARTEST thing to do. If there's something people need to remember about abusive relationships, it's that the boyfriend will emotionally abuse his girlfriend as well as physically abuse her. He'll make her think that without him, she's nothing, and that anything possing a threat to the boyfriend is in tern a thread to her. Next time OP, just call the cops and walk away.
Has anyone here thought that she deserved it? Maybe she burnt the toast or spilled the coffee ot something. I kid, i kid. But in a way, you do kind of deserve it. When there is that kind of situation then you call the cops and let them sort it out. If you call the cops, then your conscience is clean and you can blame it on the inept police force if nothing happens in an attempt to fix the situation, So then, your happy with a clean conscience. Everyone wins!
If there's something people need to remember about abusive relationships, it's that the man isn't always the abuser. For all we know, the girlfriend is the abuser and OP walked by when the boyfriend was finally retaliating. Would explain why the girlfriend was the aggressor, and not the boyfriend, and why the boyfriend agreed with her story; he didn't want to be beaten later.
That actually isn't true. In about 95% of abusive relationships a man is the abuser and a woman is the victim. In this case the reason she blamed this unfortunate guy was probably that if she didn't and her boyfriend got taken to jail or just saw her not supporting him, he probably would have beat her up even worse later. She blamed this guy for her own safety.
No one will ever know what would have happened had the OP just called the police and walked away. It's possible if the boyfriend was abusing her that he might have done permanent damage or even killed her. I don't think anyone would want that on their conscience...that they could have done more to help besides calling the cops and walking away.
Guys, what if she is a masochist? Doubtful, but possible. More than likely it is what you guys are saying; she is in an abusive relationship. Guys don't get it. When we girls get themselves into bad situations like that, they tend to freeze, and make the wrong decision. I bet in the back of her mind, she is kicking herself for not letting the OP help.
I just presented a PowerPoint for this subject, and it turns out that around 70% of cases had to do with woman being beaten, and the rest children and, quite rarely, men being abused. And it gets worse over time, but the victim generally denies the fact that they are being abused, or makes up excuses. Correct me if I'm wrong. Sorry for the oversized comment, people.
She'll be so sorry when her boyfriend actually puts her in hospital. FYL for her being a lying whore and SDI and any future beating she gets. God, even being a woman as well I will never ever understand this type of behavior.
Stockholm Syndrome isn't an excuse... she can identify with the boyfriend that's her business but she's being abused and she not only diverts possible help, but she actively attempted to ruin the life of a completely stranger (who was trying to help her) to cover it up. She loves her beater, she protects him at the cost of kind people, she deserves to be beaten.
I'm a guy. I personally cannot stand the fact that there's other "guys"(because they have no balls if they beat a girl) who would do that. I understand it must be hard for women to come out and admit their boyfriend beats them, or report them... But this girl probably deserves it. She didn't have to ask for help, help went to her. A guy willing to help went, and the police went to her, and she turned on the man who wanted to help her. She's asking for it. She had a witness to the beating, she had fresh bruises, and she still turned away help. That makes me sick.
never, ever, ever get involved with a couple arguing or fighting unless you know them. The girl will, without fail, turn on you every single time and you will end up shouted at by two people in the very best case scenario. The worst case scenario is something like the OP has, all for trying to be a good samaritan. People in abusive relationships can be surprisingly loyal to their partners, excusing their behaviours any way they can. If they are adults it is normally best to le them know you are there for them and wait for them to seek help.
1) Never interfere in problems of people you don't know 2) She is too dumb to notice she is dating a complete asshole. Her fault. YDI
he's an idiot for being a concerned citizen? indeed she should have chucked the abusive boyfriend, and maybe it was a little callous to jump in like that, but you clearly have no idea how abusive relationships work. i believe someone's already mentioned stockholm syndrome? not to mention, a number of young girls have been murdered by their psychotic ex boyfriends after dumping them. OP, you're a hero. i hope you come save me if i ever get beaten up :)
...callous? So it was uncaring of him to jump in like that? This is gonna sound more unpleasant than I would like, but you shouldn't use words when you don't know their meaning. Unless you meant that, which I doubt judging by the rest of your comment. Other than that, I agree completely with you. OP, I'm sorry you got screwed over like that. People are assholes. |:
No one deserves to be abused. "I deserve it" is probably exactly what she is thinking every day of her life with this man whenever he hits her and that is a fucked up, terrible feeling to have. She's clearly not thinking straight if she's lying to the cops for this douche... or maybe she even has reason to fear for her life if she said anything against him. Sucks you got thrown in jail. You're a good guy, but a stranger can't do anything to help if a woman is already in that deep. Guess you learned your lesson :(