Today, when I am asked to do something and I don't do it immediately, my mother threatens to "twerk" in front of my friends. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my mom asked me what twerking was. When I said that it was a club dance, trying to get out of telling her what it actually was, she begged me to teach her how to do it. My mom complained to my dad, who grounded me for not teaching her to twerk her ass. FML
Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML
Today, during a party, my drunk mother stumbled over to take a picture of me and my brother. She told me to put a party blower in my mouth for the picture, but I politely declined. She threatened to spank me in front of everyone if I didn't do it. FML
Today, my mom told me to do karate with her, and so I said no. Now my mom won't let me do anything until I go do karate with her. FML
Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML
Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML
Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML
Today, my mother threatened to disown me if I didn't break up with my tattooed girlfriend. FML
Today, my mother stormed into my room shouting about how I never go anywhere and then tells me to go out "NOW" and do something. As she is pushing me out the door, her boyfriend walks in. FML
Today, I asked my mom if she thought I looked skinny in my shorts. She jiggled my leg fat, looked up at me and walked away. FML
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Top comments
jdeezy01 13
Mama gotz moves!
MysticMonkey 9
I really wish this twerking craze would die out. It's ridiculous.
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Comments (94)
Xotoolyxo 16
Have a twerk off! Kidding, just don't invite your friends over
TehPurdo 4
Oh, now that's taking it too far!
djsammyc 19
my mom did a twerk line at my cousins wedding, its horrible, now my friends join in:(
Muttley9 13
Better than her coming to your school dressed in an outrageous fashion and doing in front of a school assembly :O
Rodville 28
You want to make the threat real. Have the dad offer to do it.
myheartisinNE 3
Thanks for the idea, I should do that to my kids :)
HMarchr 7
Capitalize! Make a bet with your friends that you can get your mom to twerk in front of them.
abbymackenziee 20
My mom does that. She thinks she's cool. I feel your pain, OP!
dreadbeat69 12
Who cares? It's embarrassing for her, not you.
Narcisse_fml 25
I guess you need to learn to move your ass the first time she tells you to do something or she'll be shaking hers. lol *I'm a parent, so I'm on her side.