Today, when I am asked to do something and I don't do it immediately, my mother threatens to "twerk" in front of my friends. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mom asked me what twerking was. When I said that it was a club dance, trying to get out of telling her what it actually was, she begged me to teach her how to do it. My mom complained to my dad, who grounded me for not teaching her to twerk her ass. FML
Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML
Today, during a party, my drunk mother stumbled over to take a picture of me and my brother. She told me to put a party blower in my mouth for the picture, but I politely declined. She threatened to spank me in front of everyone if I didn't do it. FML
Today, my mom told me to do karate with her, and so I said no. Now my mom won't let me do anything until I go do karate with her. FML
Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML
Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML
Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML
Today, my mother threatened to disown me if I didn't break up with my tattooed girlfriend. FML
Today, my mother stormed into my room shouting about how I never go anywhere and then tells me to go out "NOW" and do something. As she is pushing me out the door, her boyfriend walks in. FML
Today, I asked my mom if she thought I looked skinny in my shorts. She jiggled my leg fat, looked up at me and walked away. FML
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Top comments
jdeezy01 13
Mama gotz moves!
MysticMonkey 9
I really wish this twerking craze would die out. It's ridiculous.
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Comments (94)
Silly_Lilly6969 23
It's alright my mom does the same thing
justin0216 9
My mom already twerks in front of my friends...
PainOfDemise 11
That's when you take out your phone and record it and then put it on YouTube and see if she does anything else stupid again.
Butchergirl22 4
Excellent parent threat!
ClumsySilly 2
How long has she had to wait to resort to this?
NinaAD 10
Sorry op. Maybe you should start listening to your mother.
stargirl_95 24
I'm pretty sure that the fact that OP's mother has had to resort to public humiliation to get her to do things is pretty solid evidence that OP doesn't listen to her.
chosha_fml 27
Tell her to go for it, and when she does yell out, 'woohoo, mom! Way to look like a prostitute in front of minors.' The secret to threats of embarrassment is to not be embarrassed.
loserman67 36
Call her bluff, but be careful. If your mom is overweight (no disrespect) she'll only make a fool out of herself, but if your mom is a MILF - you might come home one day to one or more of your friends banging your mom.
awilliams44 9
my mum does it anyway haha
joselgarciac 9
Got to admit, she is good at blackmail...