Today, when I am asked to do something and I don't do it immediately, my mother threatens to "twerk" in front of my friends. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my mom asked me what twerking was. When I said that it was a club dance, trying to get out of telling her what it actually was, she begged me to teach her how to do it. My mom complained to my dad, who grounded me for not teaching her to twerk her ass. FML
Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML
Today, during a party, my drunk mother stumbled over to take a picture of me and my brother. She told me to put a party blower in my mouth for the picture, but I politely declined. She threatened to spank me in front of everyone if I didn't do it. FML
Today, my mom told me to do karate with her, and so I said no. Now my mom won't let me do anything until I go do karate with her. FML
Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML
Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML
Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML
Today, my mother threatened to disown me if I didn't break up with my tattooed girlfriend. FML
Today, my mother stormed into my room shouting about how I never go anywhere and then tells me to go out "NOW" and do something. As she is pushing me out the door, her boyfriend walks in. FML
Today, I asked my mom if she thought I looked skinny in my shorts. She jiggled my leg fat, looked up at me and walked away. FML
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Top comments
jdeezy01 13
Mama gotz moves!
MysticMonkey 9
I really wish this twerking craze would die out. It's ridiculous.
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Comments (94)
csjmcc 11
Sounds like a smart idea to me. Just parenting done right lol
cherokii_Squa 5
And she gon' shake itttt like a Red Nose, like a, like a Red Nose! lol
martin8337 36
OP, is your mom hot? Is she a MILF?
happyevil 10
Yeah same here. The horror though... :@
matthew5555555 11
My mom does the same thing!!
nitrog100 21
Call her bluff. Mind you, she's not bluffing and will definitely do it, but if you take away embarrassment as a tool, she has nothing. Tell your friends what's up and I doubt they would care.
ramsassytwerk 1
go momma Cx
djPanda 8
It works though
cshell424 10
This parenting technique for getting one's offspring to do as they're told is bound to catch on with the speed of "Elf on the Shelf." Real communication is dead.
catharsis5 9
Could be worse. My mother would freak out if I don't do a chore five minutes BEFORE she tells me to do them. Also, she would gush whenever my brothers lifts a finger to help her out. When I pointed it out to her, she said "of course they get to sit around, they're guys and you're a girl".