Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't...

By notgoodenough - 25/11/2011 17:20 - United States

Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks

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You deserved it

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Today, my boyfriend's 16-year-old daughter got a job. I'm 29, with a Master's degree and I'm still unemployed. FML

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Top comments

By unixdude | 9

#3639171 - Friday 25 November 2011 22:43

...and you are thankful for whores on Craigslist because you girlfriend is too much of a prude.

By kimee21_fml | 15

#3639166 - Friday 25 November 2011 22:41

But it is funny!

Comments

By kimee21_fml | 15

#3639166 - Friday 25 November 2011 22:41

But it is funny!

xosportsgirl14x | 8

#3639370 - Friday 25 November 2011 23:10

Seriously. And be happy that your girlfriend and family get along well enough to talk like that.

MrLookAtThere | 10

#3639465 - Friday 25 November 2011 23:24

Tell them the joke: "what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've just told her twice." and then stare at her menacingly

TruthBeTold36 | 3

#3639490 - Friday 25 November 2011 23:29

You could go the abuse route. Or maybe just invite her to bring the dildo along next time the mood strikes. Everyone wins!

speshlk37 | 13

#3639588 - Friday 25 November 2011 23:47

That's when you say you're thankful for you're other girlfriend who goes down on you without asking.

yetanotherginger | 19

#3639620 - Friday 25 November 2011 23:50

Who needs to ask for it?

G0v3nat0r | 7

#3639629 - Friday 25 November 2011 23:52

^^ agreed

n_epic_fail | 14

#3639637 - Friday 25 November 2011 23:54

And now you know what to get her for Christmas...

blackheart24 | 10

#3639913 - Saturday 26 November 2011 0:47

Tell her you're thankful for Palm-a-the Handerson ;)

zack11742 | 7

#3640254 - Saturday 26 November 2011 2:06

Wow bitch I'd say go the dump her loser butt route

MyMilkShake2Yard | 0

#3640299 - Saturday 26 November 2011 2:17

U should have just said "well I'm thankful for my left hand, it's always useful and handy (pun intended)"

Jirekianu2 | 19

#3640670 - Saturday 26 November 2011 3:57

So publicly embarassing someone about in front of theur family is hilarious now? He should make a cheese on the taco joke if she gets an infection. Then I guarantee it won't be funny.

always_smile_fml | 3

#3640840 - Saturday 26 November 2011 4:38

It's not her fault he can't please her. It's his.

jorrrk | 0

#3640905 - Saturday 26 November 2011 5:01

Agreed

My_Sweet_Shadow | 4

#3641387 - Saturday 26 November 2011 6:22

That does make for an awkward situation but at least you can take the initiative and find out how to properly please her.

Naitsi | 19

#3642923 - Saturday 26 November 2011 17:57

so true

By unixdude | 9

#3639171 - Friday 25 November 2011 22:43

...and you are thankful for whores on Craigslist because you girlfriend is too much of a prude.

cupcakeluver1212 | 0

#3639254 - Friday 25 November 2011 22:52

Good one! ;)

upyourzlolz | 11

#3639279 - Friday 25 November 2011 22:55

Or even simpler: your left hand.

FarSide | 22

#3639327 - Friday 25 November 2011 23:04

Maybe OP is just a lousy fucker. It IS possible you know,

betticonfetti | 7

#3639959 - Saturday 26 November 2011 0:53

Actually, the fact that OP's girlfriend told his entire family about her vibrator and lack-luster sex life indicates that she isn't a prude...

justcallmemini | 15

#3640163 - Saturday 26 November 2011 1:43

:) haha exactly!

thegreat8 | 1

#3640920 - Saturday 26 November 2011 5:09

I though I saw her there once

By nickdunbar | 8

#3639177 - Friday 25 November 2011 22:43

That is pretty funny

The_Great_Zucchi | 14

#3640117 - Saturday 26 November 2011 1:33

Exactly. Grow a sense of humour OP...

Blackmail111 | 9

#3640347 - Saturday 26 November 2011 2:26

Or a bigger penis

Xx_Dakota_xX | 1

#3640983 - Saturday 26 November 2011 5:34

OP I would have gotten up and walked away

By Capt_Oblivious | 9

#3639193 - Friday 25 November 2011 22:45

Hey, don't knock what she is thankful for.
Maybe you'll make the list next year, start working harder at it.

bossroyd | 4

#3640208 - Saturday 26 November 2011 1:55

Literally

SirObvious | 1

#3640369 - Saturday 26 November 2011 2:31

Metaphorically

Capt_Oblivious | 9

#3640438 - Saturday 26 November 2011 2:43

Figuratively.
May as well cover all the bases there.

By duhWINNING2_fml | 9

#3639197 - Friday 25 November 2011 22:45

Tell her you're thankful for your inflatable woman. Ownd.

Sweet121 | 0

#3643739 - Saturday 26 November 2011 20:35

Be sure to add that at least the blow up girl can shut the fuck up and take it like a real woman.

By ariannaa_fml | 17

#3639200 - Friday 25 November 2011 22:45

That's terrible, but funny!

djth3t4ank | 4

#3656002 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 3:33

That's pretty much the idea behind every post on the website.

By wistfulorangeade | 12

#3639210 - Friday 25 November 2011 22:47

Well, you can't move like that!
Get a titanium piercing that vibrates. She'll get a kick out of that.
Or just break up with her. She'll stil have her real boyfriend.

Chad_the_Brony | 0

#3642356 - Saturday 26 November 2011 12:45

A Pegasister. Nice...

By uprising_fml | 0

#3639215 - Friday 25 November 2011 22:47

start incorporating that vibrator into ya'lls sex life then . it's pretty common for couple to do so .

skinflint | 6

#3639622 - Friday 25 November 2011 23:51

this is true. she'll be much more willing do anal if you let her tickle her clit with the vibrator at the same time.

By juliajealousyy | 1

#3639222 - Friday 25 November 2011 22:49

Ouch! Sorry OP. but that is pretty funny (:

redsoxmatt8342 | 1

#3639463 - Friday 25 November 2011 23:24

I like your boobs.

clw1740 | 0

#3639476 - Friday 25 November 2011 23:27

41, you are fucked up.

andzander | 1

#3639599 - Friday 25 November 2011 23:48

For liking boobs?

skinflint | 6

#3639648 - Friday 25 November 2011 23:56

if he's no more than 16, then it ok.

G0v3nat0r | 7

#3639657 - Friday 25 November 2011 23:57

Yeah, what is wrong with liking boobs?

jsh95 | 0

#3641367 - Saturday 26 November 2011 6:20

It sure is funny, and he should learn how to work his wand, you have to learn before waving it around, she should at least tell him what he can do better