Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML
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By
unixdude
| 9
...and you are thankful for whores on Craigslist because you girlfriend is too much of a prude.
By
kimee21_fml
| 15
But it is funny!
Comments
By
kimee21_fml
| 15
But it is funny!
Reply
xosportsgirl14x
| 8
Seriously. And be happy that your girlfriend and family get along well enough to talk like that.
Reply
MrLookAtThere
| 10
Tell them the joke: "what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've just told her twice." and then stare at her menacingly
Reply
TruthBeTold36
| 3
You could go the abuse route. Or maybe just invite her to bring the dildo along next time the mood strikes. Everyone wins!
Reply
speshlk37
| 13
That's when you say you're thankful for you're other girlfriend who goes down on you without asking.
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yetanotherginger
| 19
Who needs to ask for it?
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G0v3nat0r
| 7
^^ agreed
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n_epic_fail
| 14
And now you know what to get her for Christmas...
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blackheart24
| 10
Tell her you're thankful for Palm-a-the Handerson ;)
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zack11742
| 7
Wow bitch I'd say go the dump her loser butt route
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MyMilkShake2Yard
| 0
U should have just said "well I'm thankful for my left hand, it's always useful and handy (pun intended)"
Reply
Jirekianu2
| 19
So publicly embarassing someone about in front of theur family is hilarious now? He should make a cheese on the taco joke if she gets an infection. Then I guarantee it won't be funny.
Reply
always_smile_fml
| 3
It's not her fault he can't please her. It's his.
Reply
jorrrk
| 0
Agreed
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My_Sweet_Shadow
| 4
That does make for an awkward situation but at least you can take the initiative and find out how to properly please her.
Reply
Naitsi
| 19
so true
By
unixdude
| 9
...and you are thankful for whores on Craigslist because you girlfriend is too much of a prude.
Reply
cupcakeluver1212
| 0
Good one! ;)
Reply
upyourzlolz
| 11
Or even simpler: your left hand.
Reply
FarSide
| 22
Maybe OP is just a lousy fucker. It IS possible you know,
Reply
betticonfetti
| 7
Actually, the fact that OP's girlfriend told his entire family about her vibrator and lack-luster sex life indicates that she isn't a prude...
Reply
justcallmemini
| 15
:) haha exactly!
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thegreat8
| 1
I though I saw her there once
By
nickdunbar
| 8
That is pretty funny
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The_Great_Zucchi
| 14
Exactly. Grow a sense of humour OP...
Reply
Blackmail111
| 9
Or a bigger penis
Reply
Xx_Dakota_xX
| 1
OP I would have gotten up and walked away
By
Capt_Oblivious
| 9
Hey, don't knock what she is thankful for.
Maybe you'll make the list next year, start working harder at it.
Maybe you'll make the list next year, start working harder at it.
Reply
bossroyd
| 4
Literally
Reply
SirObvious
| 1
Metaphorically
Reply
Capt_Oblivious
| 9
Figuratively.
May as well cover all the bases there.
May as well cover all the bases there.
By
duhWINNING2_fml
| 9
Tell her you're thankful for your inflatable woman. Ownd.
Reply
Sweet121
| 0
Be sure to add that at least the blow up girl can shut the fuck up and take it like a real woman.
By
ariannaa_fml
| 17
That's terrible, but funny!
Reply
djth3t4ank
| 4
That's pretty much the idea behind every post on the website.
By
wistfulorangeade
| 12
Well, you can't move like that!
Get a titanium piercing that vibrates. She'll get a kick out of that.
Or just break up with her. She'll stil have her real boyfriend.
Get a titanium piercing that vibrates. She'll get a kick out of that.
Or just break up with her. She'll stil have her real boyfriend.
Reply
Chad_the_Brony
| 0
A Pegasister. Nice...
By
uprising_fml
| 0
start incorporating that vibrator into ya'lls sex life then . it's pretty common for couple to do so .
Reply
skinflint
| 6
this is true. she'll be much more willing do anal if you let her tickle her clit with the vibrator at the same time.
By
juliajealousyy
| 1
Ouch! Sorry OP. but that is pretty funny (:
Reply
redsoxmatt8342
| 1
I like your boobs.
Reply
clw1740
| 0
41, you are fucked up.
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andzander
| 1
For liking boobs?
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skinflint
| 6
if he's no more than 16, then it ok.
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G0v3nat0r
| 7
Yeah, what is wrong with liking boobs?
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jsh95
| 0
It sure is funny, and he should learn how to work his wand, you have to learn before waving it around, she should at least tell him what he can do better
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jsh95
| 0
Hell yeah it's funny, he should just learn how to use his wand, because he has no magic in it right now.
By
ZXDriver
| 0
".. And I am thankful for her sister. Amen."
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Humanspider
| 18
That would have been a good comeback.
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justcallmemini
| 15
haha:) nice one