FML : Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left...

162

Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By NewBride - / Wednesday 14 August 2013 17:39 / United States - Lincoln

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Top comments

By Trivision | 10

#5627804 - Thursday 15 August 2013 0:11

Well shit.

By JustJumped | 22

#5627812 - Thursday 15 August 2013 0:13

Surely someone had a tissue

Comments

By Amb3rDucki3 | 12

#5627803 - Thursday 15 August 2013 0:11

Worse things could have happened. That does suck tho, OP.

horne2 | 9

#5627905 - Thursday 15 August 2013 0:53

I can't think of too many things that could have been worse.

katykoolcat | 13

#5627914 - Thursday 15 August 2013 0:56

Thats actually very lucky apparently. Hope you have a great life together.

happle | 21

#5627928 - Thursday 15 August 2013 1:05

Why didn't she clean it up right away?

Jake_Hale | 7

#5627947 - Thursday 15 August 2013 1:18

She could play it off saying "oh my fiancé didn't clean up his mess last night ;)"

punkyboy | 11

#5627948 - Thursday 15 August 2013 1:18

I'm glad first comment isn't someone saying that must have been a shitty situation.

Sfaizi24 | 17

#5627965 - Thursday 15 August 2013 1:39

She could have been dumped.

Ins0mau | 20

#5628042 - Thursday 15 August 2013 3:03

The Earth could have been blown up by intergalactic terrorist aliens.

threer | 30

#5628190 - Thursday 15 August 2013 5:16

And of course #55 would be a guy. ;p

Miss_Latina | 13

#5628304 - Thursday 15 August 2013 7:42

At least it wasn't on her lips or in her mouth then she wouldn't even get kissed

PinkieKeen | 20

#5628310 - Thursday 15 August 2013 8:06

Why didn't you say anything, OP? ._.

missrebecca3 | 8

#5629343 - Thursday 15 August 2013 23:37

it's good luck for your marriage though, only positive I could think of

Kyp_kingofhearts | 12

#5629836 - Friday 16 August 2013 7:24

I agree with #128. Why didn't she just say something or clean it up. It's gross just to let shit sit in your cleavage for 30 freakin minutes.

cassie94_fml | 20

#5633080 - Sunday 18 August 2013 17:17

Well, her grooms mates could've put viagra in his drink like another recent FML had

By Trivision | 10

#5627804 - Thursday 15 August 2013 0:11

Well shit.

horne2 | 9

#5627910 - Thursday 15 August 2013 0:54

Looks like op was in a pretty stinky situation

Jake_Hale | 7

#5627950 - Thursday 15 August 2013 1:19

I know right? What a shitty situation.

punkyboy | 11

#5627956 - Thursday 15 August 2013 1:23

57- wow you are the one millionth person on fml to use the shitty situation pun congratulations.

adamo_erebus | 25

#5627973 - Thursday 15 August 2013 1:44

Looks like the OP had a shitty day.

rocker_chick105 | 31

#5628075 - Thursday 15 August 2013 3:42

64- you're not any better...

trollololulz | 2

#5628259 - Thursday 15 August 2013 6:42

when will people learn the difference between a pun and a play on words?

PuggieKid | 22

#5628287 - Thursday 15 August 2013 7:23

Never

BellaBelle_fml | 23

#5629820 - Friday 16 August 2013 7:14

#121 - Umm…isn't that exactly what a pun is, a play on words?

By Crometer | 23

#5627809 - Thursday 15 August 2013 0:12

That must've felt and smelled horrible, congrats on your marriage though :)

Damian95 | 16

#5628045 - Thursday 15 August 2013 3:06

It just seems like one tiny bump on a great road. It'll be a funny memory someday. Congratulations!

cosicosei | 22

#5632727 - Sunday 18 August 2013 9:23

I've heard that if a bird poops on you it's good luck!!

By beclaurela | 16

#5627810 - Thursday 15 August 2013 0:12

I do think it could've been worse. At least it made for a speedy ceremony?

M3DIC4T3 | 29

#5628076 - Thursday 15 August 2013 3:46

The poop could have splattered all over her face, or down the front all over her dress, could have landed all over what I'm sure was her expensive hairstyle... The possibilities are endless.

CobraLazerFace | 21

#5628258 - Thursday 15 August 2013 6:39

Or the bird itself could of flown between here cleavage.

By JustJumped | 22

#5627812 - Thursday 15 August 2013 0:13

Surely someone had a tissue

ohcheriecherie | 20

#5627817 - Thursday 15 August 2013 0:14

one would think.

lexa1love | 16

#5627846 - Thursday 15 August 2013 0:26

Seriously! The maid of honor or someone should has stepped over and did it quickly. I couldn't imagine just standing there with it.

MikeonFML | 17

#5627920 - Thursday 15 August 2013 1:00

I can honestly say I would wipe this off immediately were I in this situation...it's 5 seconds of disruption for comfort the entire rest of the ceremony. Only if she was trying to hide it would I see this as a good decision.

Olympiakos10 | 15

#5628179 - Thursday 15 August 2013 5:07

Well it is white so it blends in with the dress.

MeowZebraMeow | 7

#5628306 - Thursday 15 August 2013 7:52

I hope you left it. It could have been your "something new".

By thatnucca | 36

#5627814 - Thursday 15 August 2013 0:13

Liquid missiles at their finest...

Bano360 | 25

#5627975 - Thursday 15 August 2013 1:46

Must have been some shot eh?

By phoneYuNOlisten | 16

#5627815 - Thursday 15 August 2013 0:13

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Narcoterrorist | 6

#5627851 - Thursday 15 August 2013 0:27

This makes approximately zero fucking sense.

vipirius | 18

#5627881 - Thursday 15 August 2013 0:40

I think 7 meant to say that she will get to have slutty marriage sex afterwards so not everything is bad. I'm only %69 sure though.

ryanthecheeseguy | 18

#5628093 - Thursday 15 August 2013 4:02

How the hell did that relate to the FML?

Jezzikah | 11

#5628204 - Thursday 15 August 2013 5:28

Maybe he meant like fecalfelia (sp?) Sex and bird poop combined? :p

lwonderful | 11

#5628213 - Thursday 15 August 2013 5:42

This makes absolutely no fucking sense

illegalbeagle69 | 23

#5628226 - Thursday 15 August 2013 5:52

How can it be approximately and absolutely?

TecheyTim | 14

#5629086 - Thursday 15 August 2013 20:07

I don't know where you come from...But here in the UK, shitting on someone's tits doesn't count a sex......

Just saying

By INDYSTRUCTABLE | 41

#5627816 - Thursday 15 August 2013 0:13

I think people would have understood you taking a moment to wipe it off, so you could give your fiance all of your attention on such a special day

By frustratedcelt | 18

#5627818 - Thursday 15 August 2013 0:14

Think of it as a blessing, it is supposed to bring incredibly good luck!

By noreallywhat | 17

#5627819 - Thursday 15 August 2013 0:14

should have called a time out YDI

Trivision | 10

#5627859 - Thursday 15 August 2013 0:32

I don't think there are "time-outs" in weddings...

Trivision | 10

#5627863 - Thursday 15 August 2013 0:34

Sports? Maybe. Weddings? NO.

Trivision | 10

#5627896 - Thursday 15 August 2013 0:48

Why yes, yes there is. :/

RedPillSucks | 31

#5627917 - Thursday 15 August 2013 0:57

With weddings, you get to spike your balls afterwards.

jondivey | 9

#5627981 - Thursday 15 August 2013 1:48

#26 Not if you drink powerthirst.

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By cannedpeas / Wednesday 31 December 2015 03:26 / Canada - Calgary

Today, my boyfriend moved in with me. I just walked into my kitchen to find my thirty year-old, perfectly seasoned cast iron skillet completely submerged in soapy water in the sink, presumably from last night when he washed the dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By miss_strauss / Monday 25 January 2016 18:21 / United States - Conroe

Today, I was going out to my car with my sister's birthday present. I slipped on some ice and the present fell to the ground. I spent an hour wrapping it. I could hear the present break. I had gotten her $200 wine glasses. I then had to run to the nearest store and get her a CD instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By GymnasticsQueen - / Monday 8 February 2010 00:35 / United States

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