Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked down the aisle when a bug flew into my mouth. In a response, I threw up on my beautiful white wedding dress. I had to party and be in the pictures in someones spare pink dress for the rest of the day. FML
Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. The best part was when we were taking photos and I threw up on my dress. At least the pictures were outside. FML
Today, I gave the toast at my sister's wedding which was outside. Before I started, the wind blew up my dress and wouldn't let up. Instead of giving my heartfelt speech, I spent five minutes fighting with my dress as 130 people pointed at my floral-printed underwear and laughed loudly. FML
Today, I had diarrhea and shit myself. During my wedding. In my wedding dress. FML
Today, I finally got my wedding photos in the mail. As I looked through them, I soon realized that the lace material on my wedding dress was completely see-through in the sunlight, and my bra and panties were visible in every single outdoor photo. I had an outdoor wedding. FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, I went to my cousin’s wedding and started tearing up during the vows. I reached into my purse for a tissue but accidentally pulled out a tampon, which flew across the aisle and landed right between the bride and groom. It's probably going to make it into the wedding video. FML
Today, I found out I was allergic to bees, the hard way, at my wedding. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one rip. My husband yelled, "She likes to eat beans." FML
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Top comments
Trivision 10
Well shit.
JustJumped 22
Surely someone had a tissue
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Comments (162)
Amb3rDucki3 12
Worse things could have happened. That does suck tho, OP.
horne2 9
I can't think of too many things that could have been worse.
katykoolcat 13
Thats actually very lucky apparently. Hope you have a great life together.
happle 21
Why didn't she clean it up right away?
Jake_Hale 7
She could play it off saying "oh my fiancé didn't clean up his mess last night ;)"
punkyboy 11
I'm glad first comment isn't someone saying that must have been a shitty situation.
Sfaizi24 17
She could have been dumped.
Ins0mau 20
The Earth could have been blown up by intergalactic terrorist aliens.
threer 30
And of course #55 would be a guy. ;p
Miss_Latina 13
At least it wasn't on her lips or in her mouth then she wouldn't even get kissed
PinkieKeen 20
Why didn't you say anything, OP? ._.
missrebecca3 8
it's good luck for your marriage though, only positive I could think of
Kyp_kingofhearts 12
I agree with #128. Why didn't she just say something or clean it up. It's gross just to let shit sit in your cleavage for 30 freakin minutes.
cxex 23
Well, her grooms mates could've put viagra in his drink like another recent FML had
Trivision 10
Well shit.
horne2 9
Looks like op was in a pretty stinky situation
Jake_Hale 7
I know right? What a shitty situation.
punkyboy 11
57- wow you are the one millionth person on fml to use the shitty situation pun congratulations.
adamo_erebus 26
Looks like the OP had a shitty day.
rocker_chick105 31
64- you're not any better...
trollololulz 2
when will people learn the difference between a pun and a play on words?
PuggieKid 22
Never
BellaBelle_fml 23
#121 - Umm…isn't that exactly what a pun is, a play on words?
Crometer 23
That must've felt and smelled horrible, congrats on your marriage though :)
Damian95 16
It just seems like one tiny bump on a great road. It'll be a funny memory someday. Congratulations!
cosicosei 22
I've heard that if a bird poops on you it's good luck!!
beclaurela 18
I do think it could've been worse. At least it made for a speedy ceremony?
M3DIC4T3 29
The poop could have splattered all over her face, or down the front all over her dress, could have landed all over what I'm sure was her expensive hairstyle... The possibilities are endless.
CobraLazerFace 21
Or the bird itself could of flown between here cleavage.
JustJumped 22
Surely someone had a tissue
ohcheriecherie 20
one would think.
lexa1love 16
Seriously! The maid of honor or someone should has stepped over and did it quickly. I couldn't imagine just standing there with it.
MikeonFML 17
I can honestly say I would wipe this off immediately were I in this situation...it's 5 seconds of disruption for comfort the entire rest of the ceremony. Only if she was trying to hide it would I see this as a good decision.
Olympiakos10 15
Well it is white so it blends in with the dress.
MeowZebraMeow 7
I hope you left it. It could have been your "something new".
thatnucca 36
Liquid missiles at their finest...
Bano360 25
Must have been some shot eh?
phoneYuNOlisten 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well I heard with every wedding there's some slutty marriage sex...
Narcoterrorist 6
This makes approximately zero ******* sense.
vipirius 18
I think 7 meant to say that she will get to have slutty marriage sex afterwards so not everything is bad. I'm only %69 sure though.
ryanthecheeseguy 18
How the hell did that relate to the FML?
Jezzikah 11
Maybe he meant like fecalfelia (sp?) Sex and bird poop combined? :p
lwonderful 11
This makes absolutely no ******* sense
illegalbeagle69 23
How can it be approximately and absolutely?
TecheyTim 14
I don't know where you come from...But here in the UK, ******** on someone's **** doesn't count a sex...... Just saying
INDYSTRUCTABLE 43
I think people would have understood you taking a moment to wipe it off, so you could give your fiance all of your attention on such a special day
frustratedcelt 18
Think of it as a blessing, it is supposed to bring incredibly good luck!
noreallywhat 17
should have called a time out YDI
Trivision 10
I don't think there are "time-outs" in weddings...
Trivision 10
Sports? Maybe. Weddings? NO.
Trivision 10
Why yes, yes there is. :/
RedPillSucks 33
With weddings, you get to spike your balls afterwards.
jondivey 9
#26 Not if you drink powerthirst.