By NewBride - 14/08/2013 17:39 - United States - Lincoln

Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML
I agree, your life sucks 60 837
You deserved it 5 593

Same thing different taste


Worse things could have happened. That does suck tho, OP.

I can't think of too many things that could have been worse.

Thats actually very lucky apparently. Hope you have a great life together.

Why didn't she clean it up right away?

Jake_Hale 7

She could play it off saying "oh my fiancé didn't clean up his mess last night ;)"

punkyboy 11

I'm glad first comment isn't someone saying that must have been a shitty situation.

Ins0mau 20

The Earth could have been blown up by intergalactic terrorist aliens.

threer 30

And of course #55 would be a guy. ;p

At least it wasn't on her lips or in her mouth then she wouldn't even get kissed

it's good luck for your marriage though, only positive I could think of

I agree with #128. Why didn't she just say something or clean it up. It's gross just to let shit sit in your cleavage for 30 freakin minutes.

Well, her grooms mates could've put viagra in his drink like another recent FML had

Looks like op was in a pretty stinky situation

Jake_Hale 7

I know right? What a shitty situation.

punkyboy 11

57- wow you are the one millionth person on fml to use the shitty situation pun congratulations.

when will people learn the difference between a pun and a play on words?

BellaBelle_fml 23

#121 - Umm…isn't that exactly what a pun is, a play on words?

That must've felt and smelled horrible, congrats on your marriage though :)

Damian95 16

It just seems like one tiny bump on a great road. It'll be a funny memory someday. Congratulations!

I've heard that if a bird poops on you it's good luck!!

I do think it could've been worse. At least it made for a speedy ceremony?

The poop could have splattered all over her face, or down the front all over her dress, could have landed all over what I'm sure was her expensive hairstyle... The possibilities are endless.

Or the bird itself could of flown between here cleavage.

Seriously! The maid of honor or someone should has stepped over and did it quickly. I couldn't imagine just standing there with it.

MikeonFML 17

I can honestly say I would wipe this off immediately were I in this's 5 seconds of disruption for comfort the entire rest of the ceremony. Only if she was trying to hide it would I see this as a good decision.

Well it is white so it blends in with the dress.

MeowZebraMeow 7

I hope you left it. It could have been your "something new".

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This makes approximately zero ******* sense.

I think 7 meant to say that she will get to have slutty marriage sex afterwards so not everything is bad. I'm only %69 sure though.

Maybe he meant like fecalfelia (sp?) Sex and bird poop combined? :p

How can it be approximately and absolutely?

I don't know where you come from...But here in the UK, ******** on someone's **** doesn't count a sex...... Just saying

I think people would have understood you taking a moment to wipe it off, so you could give your fiance all of your attention on such a special day

Think of it as a blessing, it is supposed to bring incredibly good luck!

I don't think there are "time-outs" in weddings...

RedPillSucks 31

With weddings, you get to spike your balls afterwards.