By NewBride - 14/08/2013 17:39 - United States - Lincoln

Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML
I agree, your life sucks 60 746
You deserved it 5 570

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Surely someone had a tissue


Worse things could have happened. That does suck tho, OP.

I can't think of too many things that could have been worse.

Thats actually very lucky apparently. Hope you have a great life together.

Why didn't she clean it up right away?

She could play it off saying "oh my fiancé didn't clean up his mess last night ;)"

I'm glad first comment isn't someone saying that must have been a shitty situation.

She could have been dumped.

The Earth could have been blown up by intergalactic terrorist aliens.

threer 30

And of course #55 would be a guy. ;p

At least it wasn't on her lips or in her mouth then she wouldn't even get kissed

Why didn't you say anything, OP? ._.

it's good luck for your marriage though, only positive I could think of

I agree with #128. Why didn't she just say something or clean it up. It's gross just to let shit sit in your cleavage for 30 freakin minutes.

Well, her grooms mates could've put viagra in his drink like another recent FML had

Looks like op was in a pretty stinky situation

I know right? What a shitty situation.

57- wow you are the one millionth person on fml to use the shitty situation pun congratulations.

Looks like the OP had a shitty day.

64- you're not any better...

when will people learn the difference between a pun and a play on words?

#121 - Umm…isn't that exactly what a pun is, a play on words?

That must've felt and smelled horrible, congrats on your marriage though :)

It just seems like one tiny bump on a great road. It'll be a funny memory someday. Congratulations!

I've heard that if a bird poops on you it's good luck!!

I do think it could've been worse. At least it made for a speedy ceremony?

The poop could have splattered all over her face, or down the front all over her dress, could have landed all over what I'm sure was her expensive hairstyle... The possibilities are endless.

Or the bird itself could of flown between here cleavage.

Surely someone had a tissue

one would think.

Seriously! The maid of honor or someone should has stepped over and did it quickly. I couldn't imagine just standing there with it.

I can honestly say I would wipe this off immediately were I in this's 5 seconds of disruption for comfort the entire rest of the ceremony. Only if she was trying to hide it would I see this as a good decision.

Well it is white so it blends in with the dress.

I hope you left it. It could have been your "something new".

Liquid missiles at their finest...

Must have been some shot eh?

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This makes approximately zero fucking sense.

I think 7 meant to say that she will get to have slutty marriage sex afterwards so not everything is bad. I'm only %69 sure though.

How the hell did that relate to the FML?

Maybe he meant like fecalfelia (sp?) Sex and bird poop combined? :p

This makes absolutely no fucking sense

How can it be approximately and absolutely?

I don't know where you come from...But here in the UK, shitting on someone's tits doesn't count a sex...... Just saying

I think people would have understood you taking a moment to wipe it off, so you could give your fiance all of your attention on such a special day

Think of it as a blessing, it is supposed to bring incredibly good luck!

should have called a time out YDI

I don't think there are "time-outs" in weddings...

Sports? Maybe. Weddings? NO.

Why yes, yes there is. :/

With weddings, you get to spike your balls afterwards.

#26 Not if you drink powerthirst.