Love: Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I...

By DutchOven - 04/07/2009 21:07 - United States

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 400

You deserved it 25 955

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Same thing different taste

By Sarah - 26/03/2012 11:14 - United States

Today, I belched. In the middle of my wedding vows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 857

You deserved it 6 569

Nervous?

By Anonymous - 28/02/2015 14:16 - Denmark - Nørresundby

Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 730

You deserved it 5 135

Classy

By 1234 - 11/07/2009 16:41 - Canada

Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one rip. My husband yelled, "She likes to eat beans." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 577

You deserved it 10 441

By flipflop - 07/06/2010 07:03 - United States

Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 318

You deserved it 7 438

By Anonymous - 03/09/2015 01:33 - United States - Hayward

Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 767

You deserved it 1 752

By anonymous - 14/03/2012 05:18 - Canada

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 059

You deserved it 14 185

By fun - 16/06/2013 04:54 - United States

Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 032

You deserved it 4 585

By Zoey - 09/02/2012 15:17 - Canada

Today, my husband started a food fight. During our wedding reception. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 843

You deserved it 6 186

By Susan - 28/02/2012 11:55 - Canada

Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 958

You deserved it 6 841

By pain - 26/02/2010 10:23 - Japan

Today, I found out that explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the altar, while my husband said his vows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 440

You deserved it 3 287

Kizatt 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 1:41

That is like one of the funniest FMLs I've ever read

dandymidori 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 1:39

This is hilariously disturbing! Did everyone realize that you did that?

Comments

grp1216 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 1:36

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

dandymidori 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 1:39

This is hilariously disturbing! Did everyone realize that you did that?

SerbianGirl_fml 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 19:33

Hilariously disturbing. Perfect description. I want to know the answer to that question too, by the way. ?

Metronomy_fml 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 1:40

Just hope that all video recorders and cameras were away by this point, otherwise that's a pretty bad memory to have captured. FYL

Yuppie 7

Saturday 24 October 2009 4:11

Haha. Good point! I hope so too for their sake.

Kizatt 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 1:41

That is like one of the funniest FMLs I've ever read

daydreamer84 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 6:14

ya I agree that is fing hilarious, but poor you!! I'm am so sorry!

thebigslim 13

Sunday 5 July 2009 1:42

That is freaking hilarious! XD Poor guy, guess that means extra sex for the honeymoon.... and years to come!

jenkins56 5

Sunday 5 July 2009 1:45

But will he be up for it after this? XD Maybe he'll make you both sleep with no bed covers. Just in case you try to trap him underneath. TRAUMATISED

Mc09toofine 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 4:58

haha #11 you're hillarious!! and OP i hope that if someone did get this on tape that you send it to AFV haha you never know what might happen

2gether4ever 0

Saturday 27 March 2010 5:09

what does " OP" mean?

daremetoo 0

Monday 26 April 2010 5:07

original poster.

SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 1:42

You just made my day with that one. xD

dinosaursmoo 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 1:42

ABAAAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHA XD

dinosaursmoo 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 1:44

lol

grlwitperlEring 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 1:44

That's both disgusting and epic win at the same time...

HondaGirl2010 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 1:49

Wow.. I can't stop laughing! xD FYL!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, while my boyfriend and I were on a picnic date out in the country, things got a little heated. When we were switching positions, he screamed and started running around. Turns out neither of us noticed the beehive in the tree above us until his dick got stung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 297

You deserved it 1 134

Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 536

You deserved it 65 008

The Top

Today, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to break up with me but it had to be after our cruise together because he doesn't want to lose out on money. Can't wait for the Bahamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 950

You deserved it 2 463

Today, my little brother went through all the artistic anatomy reference books and colored in all the nipples and penises with a bright pink sharpie. These books were from the library. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 719

You deserved it 3 040

Today, I found out that a burglar broke into my house. Since I didn't have expensive stuff for them to steal, they took my Fleshlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155

You deserved it 209

Today, I saw a cute guy at the coffee shop reading a book. Wanting to be friendly, I smiled as I approached and asked what he was reading. He returned the smile and said, "Minding your damn business, by Fuck Off." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 459

You deserved it 3 511

Today, I found out that the poly relationship I was in with my husband and my boyfriend was a sham. He admitted to using me for emotional and sexual support during a rough patch, and lost interest almost five years ago. We made plans to live together and grow old with our kids. We're speechless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 1 236

Today, I had no choice but to use a porta potty. I was happy to get a clean one. I wasn't happy when a young child tried opening the door and used enough force to break the lock, showing me sitting on the toilet to the world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 827

You deserved it 192

Same thing different taste

Nervous?

Classy

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