Today, trying to pocket a little extra cash for himself, my dad responded to multiple babysitting ads on Craigslist, accepting them all on my behalf. I despise children with all my heart. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessed to being broke, then actually asked if he could pay me with sex instead. FML
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML
Today, I babysat the Antichrist of all kids. After the 5 long hours were over, his parents came home. Instead of paying me what they agreed, they offered to let me eat some leftovers of a takeout in the fridge. I'm so afraid of confrontation that I accepted. FML
Today, as an agency babysitter, I was sent to babysit “Satan’s evil twin.” This kid is so bad, the dad pays additional fees to the agency for every time he damages the sitter's personal items, or if they require a hospital visit. His advice was, "Don’t be afraid to hit him back or he will take your eyes." FML
Today, a lady chased me through the mall because I wouldn’t babysit her kid while she shopped. I hate kids and don’t babysit, especially random ones, and especially not for free. FML
Today, I called my usual babysitter, one of the few people who can handle my difficult kids, to ask her to watch them for a night next week. She refused. It turns out my wife has been repeatedly underpaying her and she's fed up with it. So long date nights, I guess. FML
Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on the job. After his mom finally got home 4 hours later, he called her a slut. When he got in trouble for it, he claimed that I taught him the word. Needless to say, I didn't get paid. FML
Today, I found out that when my room-mate agreed to babysit someone's two year old kid for money, what he really planned on doing was dumping it with me. The kid won't stop crying and screaming. FML
Today, I offered to babysit half siblings so my sister didn't have to, but my dad and stepmom said no, because: "Babysitting is a girl's job." FML
Today, at work I had to handle two selfish parents returning their adopted 6 year-old daughter to foster care because, “She doesn’t, like, fit with our lifestyle, and my mom is, like, too old to babysit her anymore and we, like, can’t afford a nanny.” I hate my job. FML
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Top comments
LeFailureInLife 7
I don't think I would trust my kids with some random off of Craigslist.. 0.0
Mama_Umbridge 8
Also being kidnapped sucks. Make sure he comes with you to meet them.
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Comments (159)
dirtroadmopar 0
maybe kids made him lick poop like will ferrell in step brothers
tdog567 0
Wait a second.... You're going to earn the money, but he's going to keep it? I think that's slavery
babipie109 7
Say your busy so u don't have to if he see through it run
phresh_men17 3
That's happened to me before
maddy23a 5
Craigslist , the best spot to find a babysitting job!
Mirorbo 27
Darlings, keep in mind, some of us can't handle taking care of someone else's children for prolonged periods of time. We don't know their history. We don't know their behavior patterns. We can't tell if it's a little demon wearing angel wings when their parents around, or are very obvious devils that their parents STILL think can do no wrong. Hell, we can't even tell if the kid is actually already well behaved! When we have bad experiences, we WILL assume! Babysitting a large amount of kids when you already don't like the idea of watching over the over-energetic monsters can make someone very stressed out and make them like children even less. And the fact that the father has the intention of taking all of OPs hard earned money from having to put up with someone else's kids doesn't make matters any better. Just because you think kids are the most precious little darlings in the universe doesn't mean everyone can or should hold the same opinion, and you shouldn't degrade them for having a profound dislike for them. While you see angels, we see sugar-run, authority-ignoring, devil spawns.
SoccerGod234 0
How long did it take you to write that?
GoW_Chick 15
Everyone is intitled to their opinion, true, but I don't see how anyone degraded OP for their opinion, just gave their own. I can understand being annoyed and frustrated with children, but to despise them with all your heart is just something I can't wrap my head around, they are kids, every kid has been a brat every once and awhile, even you and OP I bet, but they're not always like that, and their behavior problems are a result of how their raised, or what they see from others around them.
Mirorbo 27
SoccerGod234, that only took me about two minutes to write up. Some people on the internet are capable of making replies with more than one line within a pretty short amount of time.
saksxalmo 20
#63... What about #60's comment? "**** you for hating kids" doesn't exactly sound like offering an opinion OR being respectful....
GoW_Chick 15
I didn't see that one when I wrote my comment, I was going off the ones above this one, I agree it's not a very respectful opinion. I was just saying I don't understand the whole "I despise kids with all my heart" thing, but that's just me.
desireev 18
I, personally, think that kids are blessings. But I do respect everyones opinions by saying they don't think the same as I do. But 'hate' or 'despise' are such strong words. Hating someone would be wishing death upon someone. Or wishing them straight to hell. Hating anyone is absolutely terrible... But hating children is far worse. They are innocent beings who only mimic what they see and absorb from others. It's perfectly acceptable to dislike kids and not want any. But it's down right terrible to hate anyone! Let alone a child!
AmbrosiaWriter 17
Honestly, I think you're taking hyperbole way too seriously. Everyone exaggerates, even all of you. You do it ALL the time, just to get some type of point across. The OP probably doesn't despise children with all his/her heart, they probably just don't like the idea of having to watch after them, or being responsible for little human beings during the most accident prone portion of their life. Haven't you ever been so sick where you say or think, "Oh my god I'm dyyyinnggg!" Do you really think you're dying? No, you probably don't even think that being sick is what dying feels like, you just know you feel really bad and that's how you express yourself.
downtime 13
122, Most people these days interchange "hate" for "really really really dislike". It is just a way of emphasising that you don't like something. While what you say is fundamentally true, it is also out dated.
thebatboy 4
All you have to do is not go. Tell the parents something came up.
YumeMoto 0
Kids are fun.
ILOOVELAMP 0
Pedo
SoccerGod234 0
I'm just going to take a shot in the dark here, but I'm thinking that, they "despise" you to.
AbbyLondon 2
Say op is a grown adult sponging off said dad.. Op get a job and stop your bitching..