Today, trying to pocket a little extra cash for himself, my dad responded to multiple babysitting ads on Craigslist, accepting them all on my behalf. I despise children with all my heart. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessed to being broke, then actually asked if he could pay me with sex instead. FML
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML
Today, I babysat the Antichrist of all kids. After the 5 long hours were over, his parents came home. Instead of paying me what they agreed, they offered to let me eat some leftovers of a takeout in the fridge. I'm so afraid of confrontation that I accepted. FML
Today, as an agency babysitter, I was sent to babysit “Satan’s evil twin.” This kid is so bad, the dad pays additional fees to the agency for every time he damages the sitter's personal items, or if they require a hospital visit. His advice was, "Don’t be afraid to hit him back or he will take your eyes." FML
Today, a lady chased me through the mall because I wouldn’t babysit her kid while she shopped. I hate kids and don’t babysit, especially random ones, and especially not for free. FML
Today, I called my usual babysitter, one of the few people who can handle my difficult kids, to ask her to watch them for a night next week. She refused. It turns out my wife has been repeatedly underpaying her and she's fed up with it. So long date nights, I guess. FML
Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on the job. After his mom finally got home 4 hours later, he called her a slut. When he got in trouble for it, he claimed that I taught him the word. Needless to say, I didn't get paid. FML
Today, I found out that when my room-mate agreed to babysit someone's two year old kid for money, what he really planned on doing was dumping it with me. The kid won't stop crying and screaming. FML
Today, I offered to babysit half siblings so my sister didn't have to, but my dad and stepmom said no, because: "Babysitting is a girl's job." FML
Today, at work I had to handle two selfish parents returning their adopted 6 year-old daughter to foster care because, “She doesn’t, like, fit with our lifestyle, and my mom is, like, too old to babysit her anymore and we, like, can’t afford a nanny.” I hate my job. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
LeFailureInLife 7
I don't think I would trust my kids with some random off of Craigslist.. 0.0
Mama_Umbridge 8
Also being kidnapped sucks. Make sure he comes with you to meet them.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (159)
BluePanda13 0
well 'despising children with all your heart' is strong. i admit children can be annoying at times, but otherwise i love them. hmmm.
vbmg152 19
Just say no!!!
hateevryone 15
well you definitely don't need to have any.
KatieKayy15 0
what kind of heartless bastard hates children? it's not their fault the behave badly. it's part of growing up. you were a child once. how would you like it if people hated you as a child?
Awesomehobo44 3
You were a child once. Children aren't that bad. They just need to learn what's needed to know in the world, so they ask a lot of questions, and sometimes get annoying. But you can't say that you weren't like that as a kid. Everyone is or was. Just deal with it.
KatieKayy15 0
my point exactly!!
_MidnightLuna_ 17
What does it f*cking matter if he was a kid at one point or not? He doesn't have to enjoy taking care of a child. They do much worse than ask questions. They SCREECH at the top of their lungs in public, knock sh*t over, touch what they're not supposed to touch, spill things, break things.. and to top it all off they are gross.
Awesomehobo44 3
Except also, depending on their age and maturity level, they may know what not to do or touch. Think about it.
infinitii 0
Serves you right for hating on children. You were a child once too you know. YDI
kei1108 13
Do not take that crap. Get the money back and return it to their owners. Never let your dad abuse you like that again.
Lizzy500 16
Umm, and HOW exactly do you propose a minor child take money back from a physically larger parent and give it back to the parents of these kids? Don't let your parent abuse you???? What dream land do YOU live in?
jimmyjim13 5
well op i hate you too. with all my heart with a burning passion
tracker7 5
I too hate children
Oley 27
Hahahahah # 28!!!! I laughed my ass off when I read your comment! I 100% agree !