Today, trying to pocket a little extra cash for himself, my dad responded to multiple babysitting ads on Craigslist, accepting them all on my behalf. I despise children with all my heart. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessed to being broke, then actually asked if he could pay me with sex instead. FML
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML
Today, I babysat the Antichrist of all kids. After the 5 long hours were over, his parents came home. Instead of paying me what they agreed, they offered to let me eat some leftovers of a takeout in the fridge. I'm so afraid of confrontation that I accepted. FML
Today, as an agency babysitter, I was sent to babysit “Satan’s evil twin.” This kid is so bad, the dad pays additional fees to the agency for every time he damages the sitter's personal items, or if they require a hospital visit. His advice was, "Don’t be afraid to hit him back or he will take your eyes." FML
Today, a lady chased me through the mall because I wouldn’t babysit her kid while she shopped. I hate kids and don’t babysit, especially random ones, and especially not for free. FML
Today, I called my usual babysitter, one of the few people who can handle my difficult kids, to ask her to watch them for a night next week. She refused. It turns out my wife has been repeatedly underpaying her and she's fed up with it. So long date nights, I guess. FML
Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on the job. After his mom finally got home 4 hours later, he called her a slut. When he got in trouble for it, he claimed that I taught him the word. Needless to say, I didn't get paid. FML
Today, I found out that when my room-mate agreed to babysit someone's two year old kid for money, what he really planned on doing was dumping it with me. The kid won't stop crying and screaming. FML
Today, I offered to babysit half siblings so my sister didn't have to, but my dad and stepmom said no, because: "Babysitting is a girl's job." FML
Today, at work I had to handle two selfish parents returning their adopted 6 year-old daughter to foster care because, “She doesn’t, like, fit with our lifestyle, and my mom is, like, too old to babysit her anymore and we, like, can’t afford a nanny.” I hate my job. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
LeFailureInLife 7
I don't think I would trust my kids with some random off of Craigslist.. 0.0
Mama_Umbridge 8
Also being kidnapped sucks. Make sure he comes with you to meet them.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (159)
coolprince 0
let this be a experince for u to deal with children
Dcm210 19
your just too sweet
tennisrapper1 14
I think that people often overlook kids. They're actually quite sophisticated in a sense. Many of them have brilliant minds of their own that can develop into something useful and unique.
mrssuarez2011 12
Agreed
froglegs96 0
I hope you will fully admit that you hate what you were and may still be until the age of 18.
nanxi 30
Hopefully, the kid's mother won't come home to find her kid locked in the bathroom and you passed out from drinking.
bvxf 2
You were a kid once ...
KiddNYC1O 22
I say when they go past age 5 they're little brats.
charliethom 0
You got off lucky, i would punch kick and tell a kid to bite you for hating kids. YOU DUMBASS THERE NOT THE BEST BUT SO WHAT DOCHEBAG
laden_swallow09 35
Lucky? How? Children ARE vile, little monsters who will hurt themselves the moment you turn your back if they're not mouthing off at you or persecuting each other on the playground for whatever reasons. I should know. I was an obnoxious little shit when I was growing up.
laden_swallow09 35
That did NOT go under the right post… Oy. >.
geod69 8
Them find a real job & stop crying
THE_A_TEEN 28
I would like to know where you live to find a real job, so far I found fake ones. Unfortunately I can't find listings for a captain needed on a spice freighter headed to naboo.
THE_A_TEEN 28
I would like to know where you live where real jobs exists, so far I found fake ones. Unfortunately I can't find listings for a captain needed on a spice freighter headed to naboo. Help a brother out?
desireev 18
OP wasn't looking for a 'fake' job. The old pops found one for OP and decided to keep all of the earnings. Nice try though!
TheJester12 15
more of an fml for the future kids you will be baby sitting. if the baby sitting gig doesn't work out so well I heard craig's list is hotter than a Vegas corner for young, desperate money hungry ******. pro tip: avoid customers in windowless vans. they tend to be serial killers.
AmbrosiaWriter 17
Uhm? Where did this come from? The dad took all those postings on the OP's behalf, without consulting the OP at all, AND was planning on taking all the money from those postings.