Today, trying to pocket a little extra cash for himself, my dad responded to multiple babysitting ads on Craigslist, accepting them all on my behalf. I despise children with all my heart. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessed to being broke, then actually asked if he could pay me with sex instead. FML
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML
Today, I babysat the Antichrist of all kids. After the 5 long hours were over, his parents came home. Instead of paying me what they agreed, they offered to let me eat some leftovers of a takeout in the fridge. I'm so afraid of confrontation that I accepted. FML
Today, as an agency babysitter, I was sent to babysit “Satan’s evil twin.” This kid is so bad, the dad pays additional fees to the agency for every time he damages the sitter's personal items, or if they require a hospital visit. His advice was, "Don’t be afraid to hit him back or he will take your eyes." FML
Today, a lady chased me through the mall because I wouldn’t babysit her kid while she shopped. I hate kids and don’t babysit, especially random ones, and especially not for free. FML
Today, I called my usual babysitter, one of the few people who can handle my difficult kids, to ask her to watch them for a night next week. She refused. It turns out my wife has been repeatedly underpaying her and she's fed up with it. So long date nights, I guess. FML
Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on the job. After his mom finally got home 4 hours later, he called her a slut. When he got in trouble for it, he claimed that I taught him the word. Needless to say, I didn't get paid. FML
Today, I found out that when my room-mate agreed to babysit someone's two year old kid for money, what he really planned on doing was dumping it with me. The kid won't stop crying and screaming. FML
Today, I offered to babysit half siblings so my sister didn't have to, but my dad and stepmom said no, because: "Babysitting is a girl's job." FML
Today, at work I had to handle two selfish parents returning their adopted 6 year-old daughter to foster care because, “She doesn’t, like, fit with our lifestyle, and my mom is, like, too old to babysit her anymore and we, like, can’t afford a nanny.” I hate my job. FML
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Top comments
LeFailureInLife 7
I don't think I would trust my kids with some random off of Craigslist.. 0.0
Mama_Umbridge 8
Also being kidnapped sucks. Make sure he comes with you to meet them.
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Comments (159)
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Wow...I felt sorry for you because your dad did something like that without your permission, until you said you despise children with all your heart. You sound like a heartless bitch. You were a kid once too you know, and probably a very spoiled one from the sounds of it. I admit some kids drive me insane, especially when their parents let them get away with everything, but just...wow.
_MidnightLuna_ 17
Dude, children are ******* annoying. Not everyone has to enjoy taking care of them. Jesus you're dumb.
HeartOnSleeves 8
You were once a kid, ya ninny. .-.
THE_A_TEEN 28
What the **** is wrong with people here? So he doesn't like children, and all you bash him for that? Seriously GROW THE **** UP!!! Not everyone will view kids as little giggling bundles of joy. Quit acting like holier than thou ****-faces simply because his beliefs are different that yours. "Oh no, you were a kid once, what a hateful person, I hate you too, you hated yourself", BOO-*******-HOO. Once again, get over yourself. Self righteous *****....
PedoPancakes 7
Hahaha your comment is boss xD
HeartOnSleeves 8
Well maybe because they are ALSO human like you. You can hate kids if they are spoiled, not all kids though. It's like hating a black person while your black, or hating a white person while you're white. He can hate kids, but not all kids are annoying brats.
daniofnd 0
You ass, how can you even remotely possibly hate kids. You're a frickin loser. FYL
MoogleSam 8
Because they can be little demons that disrespect you, destroy everything they see, tear at your hair, scratch at your face and generally just act like the spawn of Satan? There are plenty of nice kids (such as the ones mentioned on KGMH) but when you know some demon children, it pretty much just ruins all children for you and makes you despise them.
bleedingrose2252 3
I honestly dislike young children as well, but to say that they automatically hate me too would be an understatement, aside from the fact that I was raised to be civil and logical, I rarely get irate around them and generally kids love me. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and I believe he/she was saying that they do not like children who are bratty, disrespectful, annoying, uncivil, noisy trouble-makers, which is in general most of them, not that he/she hates kids just because they are kids.
legresley85 1
So what OP despises kids who cares. Not everyone is baby or kid crazy and that's perfectly alright. It's not for everyone and society should stop trying to force parenthood on people. Too many people pop out kids just because they are too lazy or stupid to use protection at least OP knows where they stand on the subject.
kill_me_now7 2
Well now you have the opportunityy to either meet the kid that changes your earth or confirm that they all are little monsters and bitches
SadinSherman 16
You should asked to be paid by check
Cml3996 12
Ehh, not all kids are bad. Some can actually be well-behaved. I say you go at least once to some of the jobs and ppocket the money for yourself!
alfred07 18
Just cancel all the appointments and explain the situation to them, keep doing that until your dad gets the point.