Today, trying to pocket a little extra cash for himself, my dad responded to multiple babysitting ads on Craigslist, accepting them all on my behalf. I despise children with all my heart. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessed to being broke, then actually asked if he could pay me with sex instead. FML
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML
Today, I babysat the Antichrist of all kids. After the 5 long hours were over, his parents came home. Instead of paying me what they agreed, they offered to let me eat some leftovers of a takeout in the fridge. I'm so afraid of confrontation that I accepted. FML
Today, as an agency babysitter, I was sent to babysit “Satan’s evil twin.” This kid is so bad, the dad pays additional fees to the agency for every time he damages the sitter's personal items, or if they require a hospital visit. His advice was, "Don’t be afraid to hit him back or he will take your eyes." FML
Today, a lady chased me through the mall because I wouldn’t babysit her kid while she shopped. I hate kids and don’t babysit, especially random ones, and especially not for free. FML
Today, I called my usual babysitter, one of the few people who can handle my difficult kids, to ask her to watch them for a night next week. She refused. It turns out my wife has been repeatedly underpaying her and she's fed up with it. So long date nights, I guess. FML
Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on the job. After his mom finally got home 4 hours later, he called her a slut. When he got in trouble for it, he claimed that I taught him the word. Needless to say, I didn't get paid. FML
Today, I found out that when my room-mate agreed to babysit someone's two year old kid for money, what he really planned on doing was dumping it with me. The kid won't stop crying and screaming. FML
Today, I offered to babysit half siblings so my sister didn't have to, but my dad and stepmom said no, because: "Babysitting is a girl's job." FML
Today, at work I had to handle two selfish parents returning their adopted 6 year-old daughter to foster care because, “She doesn’t, like, fit with our lifestyle, and my mom is, like, too old to babysit her anymore and we, like, can’t afford a nanny.” I hate my job. FML
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Top comments
LeFailureInLife 7
I don't think I would trust my kids with some random off of Craigslist.. 0.0
Mama_Umbridge 8
Also being kidnapped sucks. Make sure he comes with you to meet them.
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Comments (159)
BIGASSTITS 12
You sound like a child yourself.
wellthatsukx 0
Don't show.
amanda_447 0
To get revenge, sell him as a prostitute on Craigslist like how he sold you as a babysitter. Maybe he despises prostituting as much as you despise children..
ashleybabe85 0
not liking kids doesnt make u heartless.. i hate other peoples kids... i love my own tho and tolerate my friends
my2centsworth 15
You are not obligated to perform a job you didn't accept. Tell the parents that there has been a mistake and they will need to make other arrangements.
kemando 22
Alright... So when they give you the money... Just keep it? Derp.
annalily5 28
My sympathies OP. I dislike children, too. I didn't like them even when I was one. Never really got why people love them so much. with only 3 or 4 exceptions everyone of them I've ever met have been manipulative an/or cruel. And no, I don't count myself as one of the exceptions. Most people seem to fall for the sweet and innocent routine. I saw many a child pull the "Do you still love me?" card, not only getting out of trouble, but also getting a treat to assure them that they are loved. That or smile sweetly as they steal or break your stuff. People can be so gullible when it comes to kids for whatever reason.
annalily5 28
Why is that always the go to retort when someone says they dislike kids? Yes, I was a kid once. Why do you think I dislike them so much? I look back and wonder how people not only put up with me, but also found me cute. And apparently I was one of the better ones.
stevenmx86 8
Then you are useless to the world OP. The meaning of life is to further our bloodlines and mannerisms.. Besides, how can you despise yourself?
perdix 31
You despise children? Apparently, so does your dad.