Money: Today, I babysat the Antichrist of all kids. After the 5 long... - FML

By raquel - 17/07/2015 16:40 - United States

Today, I babysat the Antichrist of all kids. After the 5 long hours were over, his parents came home. Instead of paying me what they agreed, they offered to let me eat some leftovers of a takeout in the fridge. I'm so afraid of confrontation that I accepted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 058

You deserved it 10 124

Our house, in the middle of our street

This Charming Man

Work > Love

By StudentAbroad - 18/02/2016 13:27 - Ukraine - Kiev

Today, several Ukrainians didn't believe me when I said I was American. Apparently I'm not fat enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 935

You deserved it 2 717

By happyeffingbday202 - 02/04/2009 23:12 - United States

Today, was my 16th birthday. Needless to say, I was delighted when my friends presented me with a birthday card in a homeroom. I pretended to be surprised and exclaimed, "Aw, you guys really shouldn't have!" They didn't. It was our teacher's birthday. They just wanted me to sign the card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 925

You deserved it 5 253

By RZ - 07/03/2012 15:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was complaining of being stressed, so I mentioned having heard that sex relieves a lot of that build up of stress. She replied, "I think I'd rather stay stressed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 919

You deserved it 7 979

By bittenbyadonkey - 28/01/2011 17:23 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 044

You deserved it 3 537

Stomach bug?

By Heather Scurfield - 21/03/2021 10:59

Today, I was going to be sick, so I ran to the bathroom. When I got there, I fainted, and fell back against the wall. When I came around, I immediately vomited all down my body, in my hair, and all over the floor. My cat judged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 93

By Anonymous - 26/12/2010 21:32 - United States

Today, my mom told me that my new concealer is way too dark and makes my skin look hideously orange and uneven. I wasn't wearing any makeup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 165

You deserved it 4 449

By Anonymous - 07/10/2016 20:22 - Switzerland

Today, the cat climbed up to the spice shelf while I was cooking. As I looked up and told him to leave, he tipped over a chili container which coated my face with chili powder. The bloody pain in my eyes then made me knock over a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 866

You deserved it 1 139

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 02:06 - United States

Today, I spoke with my boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend. Actually, she isn't all that crazy. He really did cheat on her with half a dozen other girls. The same girls he's apparently cheating on me with. How do I know for sure? Thank you crazy ex for his email passwords. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 764

You deserved it 5 176

By Oops54321 - 28/09/2009 07:12 - France

Spicy

Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 663

You deserved it 33 062

It's only a bit of liquid fun, come on!

By Anonymous - 14/09/2019 20:00

Today, I asked the guy I'm dating if he could not drink on our next date, because he ends up drunk-driving every time. His response was, "This isn't working out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 690

You deserved it 294

By Anonymous - 21/01/2013 17:04 - United States

Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 791

You deserved it 8 290

Life choices

By Jim - 25/12/2020 02:01

Today, my mom is coming to pick up the Christmas presents we got for her and her husband. She won’t come inside or come within 6 feet, so she can be healthy when she goes down to the ex-wife’s parents house to hang out. The ex in-laws that hate me. Glad my mom chose them over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 107

Get back to work

By wavenixv - 27/08/2021 10:01

Today, I got an email from our district manager, telling me I cannot use my vacation days as sick time. I've run out of sick days and I have a severe injury that I've taken medical leave for. When it flares up, it feels like I’m being stabbed. He knows this, but doesn’t acknowledge it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 47

By In urgent need of a new roommate - 26/03/2014 23:44 - United States - West Linn

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 462

You deserved it 3 355

By unwantedforlife - 20/11/2013 00:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me but wanted to make sure that we were still friends, so he could still use my Netflix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 888

You deserved it 3 835

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

By Whoishe? - 02/06/2021 06:00

Today, I realized my husband is a completely different person than when we married. It’s only been three and a half years since we eloped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 147

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 670

You deserved it 7 465

By kutekittykatz - 10/07/2013 08:58 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, while ironing some shirts, my cat decided to hop up and investigate. To prevent him from burning himself, I instinctively moved the iron away and placed it flat on my other hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 197

You deserved it 14 558

By suckatlifeeexo - 25/04/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I was at a swim meet. I was on a relay team and I was the anchor. My team was in 1st. I was ready to dive in when I saw my tampon string was hanging out of my suit. I freaked, slid off the block, and fell on top of the guy before me and gave him a concussion. We got DQed for a false start FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 359

You deserved it 16 971

By anonymous - 04/12/2010 12:03 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were arguing about how he was too busy for me. During that conversation, he was texting his best friend and then called by his brother to drive him home. Instead of returning to finish our conversation, he left to prepare for his fishing trip with his mates tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 902

You deserved it 5 998

Real life

By Anonymous - 20/01/2021 22:59

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 16 months has had an "internet-only" girlfriend since before we got together, but she wasn't ever "real" to him, so he didn't think it would get in the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 87

By ScoozieBooze - 20/12/2012 18:17 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I caught my dog chewing on a tampon applicator. I tried to grab it from him, but he wanted to play "keep away" and ran outside. Like a dumbass, I chased after him in my underwear, earning myself the attention of my neighbors on each side of my driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 467

You deserved it 32 324

By IceMage - 18/01/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 602

You deserved it 39 254

Love is strange

By Anonymous - 17/10/2019 22:00

Today, I learned that, just like in the movies, your ex-boyfriend can eventually wind up being your stepfather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 029

You deserved it 129

By hatboxghost - 09/07/2009 05:17 - United States

Today, my suburban, white boyfriend of two years told me he wanted to tell me something serious. He sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I want to be gangster." I started laughing thinking he was joking. He was 100% serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 841

You deserved it 7 705

Run run run

By runner - 14/11/2009 07:15 - United States

Today, I went for a run in a new pair of shoes that left me with huge blisters. As I finished cleaning them up so they could heal, I limped to my bed to take a nap. I was woken by the fire alarm. My building was having a drill and we couldn't use the elevators. I live on the 9th floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 921

You deserved it 3 752

By heallven - 31/01/2013 12:26 - France - Ostricourt

Today, my loyalty and regularity at my local pizza place were noticed. The delivery guy, when bringing yet another order, asked me if the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were living with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 515

You deserved it 11 421

By Anonymous - 08/06/2014 02:34 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 002

You deserved it 6 656

By Anonymous - 29/12/2015 14:15

Today, I found out my wife has been taking "love thy neighbour" very literally with the bloke next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 373

You deserved it 1 512

By Username - 16/09/2010 23:27 - France

Today, I decided to dye my hair to freshen up my appearance. I asked my husband for his opinion, expecting him to recommend a color. He then asked me why going on a diet wasn't my first option. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 845

You deserved it 11 444

By BroadwayBaby1997 - 17/09/2016 15:26 - United States - Mission

Today, I've had more crushes on fictional characters than actual people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 345

You deserved it 2 555

By limegreenpoopie - 06/09/2016 13:38 - United States - Valrico

Today, my boyfriend's obsession with card tricks reached a new low. He barged into the bathroom while I was taking a crap and asked me to pick a card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 448

You deserved it 1 478

By Anonymous - 06/10/2015 03:46 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I finally got a job so I could stop missing out on going out with my friends every weekend. Turns out I work only Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays, and there's no way around it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 371

You deserved it 4 809

By Anonymous - 18/10/2010 08:00 - Australia

Spicy

Today, after much thought and serious consideration, I nervously admitted to my boyfriend that I'm bisexual. The first thing that he said in response was: "Want a threesome?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 457

You deserved it 40 778

By Anonymous - 09/09/2014 16:16 - Australia - Perth

Today, I chatted to a nice guy and gave him my number. I told him I was going to sleep because I had a headache, and then put my phone on silent. He rang multiple times, and when I obviously didn't pick up, he sent several texts insulting me and calling me gutless for not responding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 676

You deserved it 4 117

By Anonymous - 17/06/2009 16:32 - Russian Federation

Today, at my job in a chemists, I had a customer ask me which acne cream I would recommend. I picked up the brand I use and told her that I've been using it for a year now. After pausing to stare at my face for a second, she thanked me and picked up the competing brand instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 952

You deserved it 5 721

By what - 26/11/2010 19:17 - United States

Today, while shopping, a few giggling girls came up to me and asked why I was wearing a dress in public. Highly confused, I didn't answer. When they walked away laughing, I realized they thought I was a man. I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 385

You deserved it 4 145

M. Night Shyamalanadingdong

By Anonymous - 30/06/2020 05:02

Today, I went to the bathroom after a terrible job interview. My interviewer walked in with another guy, talking about my interview, saying he was obviously going to hire the other guy because my odd-sounding name was too hard to pronounce, yet alone spell in multiple emails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 291

You deserved it 137

Unreasonable

By Katsuria - 25/07/2020 14:01

Today, my mother disowned me because I wouldn’t fill out her visa application for France so that she can see her boyfriend. The reason why I refused was because my husband and I are on our honeymoon, and would like to spend some time together. I guess that makes me a “useless” daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 478

You deserved it 121

By niii - 26/11/2008 04:26 - France

Spicy

Today, as I often do, I had sex in my old car. I'm 25, my boyfriend is 28 and we're still living with our parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 117

You deserved it 13 945

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Saturday 18 July 2015 8:29

Rat the little fucker out. No one should have to suffer 5 hours just to be paid with leftovers.

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Saturday 18 July 2015 8:35

I know it can be tough but you need to learn how to stick up for yourself OP. I've been in similar situations where the families I babysit pay me much less than they promised but leftovers? Not okay. Not okay by a long shot.

Comments

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Saturday 18 July 2015 8:29

Rat the little fucker out. No one should have to suffer 5 hours just to be paid with leftovers.

domolovesyoshi 33

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Saturday 18 July 2015 19:17

Because the parents are going to believe her? They probably already know and just don't care.

gte225 11

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Saturday 18 July 2015 22:05

They still should have payed in some meaningful way.

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Sunday 19 July 2015 5:24

Probably wouldn't do any good. The parents' actions in offering OP leftover takeout instead of pay were very selfish, which probably explains why the kid is so insufferable.

Econforthwin 15

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Saturday 18 July 2015 8:29

Was it bacon?

604 11

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Saturday 18 July 2015 8:31

Impossible. There's no such thing as "leftover bacon".

Econforthwin 15

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Saturday 18 July 2015 8:53

Good point, I have seen the error of my ways

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Saturday 18 July 2015 8:29

Don't be afraid of confronting them, for you babysat their hellish child and the least they can repay you is pay you the damn money

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Saturday 18 July 2015 19:27

Money that they had previously agreed to!

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Saturday 18 July 2015 8:31

you should go back and let them know they owe you for what they said. you should get what you deserve and what was agreed on. good luck.

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Saturday 18 July 2015 8:35

I know it can be tough but you need to learn how to stick up for yourself OP. I've been in similar situations where the families I babysit pay me much less than they promised but leftovers? Not okay. Not okay by a long shot.

Send a private message

Saturday 18 July 2015 14:25

Exactly. No wonder that kid is the antichrist when he's being raised by parents like that. It's one thing to offer less than agreed on, which already means they lied to OP, but hell, LEFTOVERS? I would have been insulted beyond belief and not taken no for an answer.

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Saturday 18 July 2015 8:37

Not okay. Just not.

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Saturday 18 July 2015 8:38

OP, I have a gigantic set of balls you can borrow.

CommentKing207 23

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Saturday 18 July 2015 8:59

You seem like someone I know... He's pretty stuck up and brags about himself.

tarlax 11

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Saturday 18 July 2015 9:02

Says the guy that calls himself "CommentKing207"...

CommentKing207 23

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Saturday 18 July 2015 9:03

#15 it's a joke...

tarlax 11

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Saturday 18 July 2015 9:05

Yeah, I know her comment was. Unlike yours.

CommentKing207 23

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Saturday 18 July 2015 9:08

#18 you seem to not understand me. please look at my bio.

tarlax 11

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Saturday 18 July 2015 9:12

Nah dude, you don't seem to understand ME. Look at MY profile, it explains everything.

CommentKing207 23

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Saturday 18 July 2015 9:16

Your profile can't be accessed. It makes sense, because you haven't explained anything to me.

tarlax 11

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Saturday 18 July 2015 9:19

It can't be accessed? Nah man, you're just not clicking hard enough.

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Saturday 18 July 2015 11:11

My screen is broken now and I still can't see your profile

Cheeky_Fellow 14

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Saturday 18 July 2015 22:29

The guy who brags on his profile about being a troll was just trolled so hard he broke a finger clicking on the link. Well played, master troll tamer. lol

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Saturday 18 July 2015 8:38

You gotta learn to embrace confrontation, or this won't be the only place you get screwed over. Stand up for yourself!!

taylorzgoines 16

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Saturday 18 July 2015 8:54

by far my fav fml yet

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Monday 20 July 2015 5:46

You do realize that there are words longer than three letters, right?

CommentKing207 23

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Saturday 18 July 2015 8:57

YDI for not standing up for yourself. Demand your pay and tell the kid off. His parents will be ashamed of him and you will get the pay that you deserve.

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Saturday 18 July 2015 15:07

agreed he/she screwed up lol. i hope they either family or you doin that crap out of kindness of the heart cause honestly if you do this for job you seriously fucked up lol. also if not part of family, i hope take out meant pizza for your sake op. lol

CommentKing207 23

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Saturday 18 July 2015 19:30

OP is a she, as put in the top left corner of the FML.

Nearly

Today, I realized that I wore ripped jeand AND ripped boxers to work. Both ripped at the same place, in between the legs. The result was my looking down and seeing my dick halfway out of my trousers. I can't get up from my seat the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

Today, my maid sat me down to tell me that she doesn’t like it when me and my partner fight. We don’t like each other anymore and I keep trying to break up with him, but he won’t let me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30

You deserved it 17

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I'm on day 11 of having COVID. My husband said to me, "I hope you get better soon so we can finally have sex again." Thanks for being concerned about MY health and wellbeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 119

Today, I realized why my boyfriend drove me to his “favorite” hospital about one agonizing hour away while I was in labor. His friend who's a nurse worked there. Or should I say, his side chick. He made out with her in the room while I was “sleeping” after giving birth to our first child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 296

You deserved it 95