Today, trying to be romantic, I started coming on to my wife while in bed, only for her to yet again say she wasn't in the mood. When I asked why she never is lately, she sarcastically blamed it on the government shutdown, then rolled over to go to sleep. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, for the third time this week, I came home to my wife asleep in bed, her pants down, and her vibrator in her hand. She keeps refusing sex because she "isn't in the mood" and insists there's nothing wrong. To rub salt in the wound, I bought her the vibrator as a gift, hoping to spice things up. FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, when the power went out, my wife said it was too bad we couldn't have sex by candlelight since she had just started her period. The only time she brings up sex is when we can't do it. FML
Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML
Today, after weeks of every excuse not to, my wife wanted sex. It was amazing, and she had at least 3 orgasms. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she got up like someone kicked her and started bitching about all the things she could have been doing, as she got dressed and stormed out. FML
Today, I started making love to my wife as soon as the kids were occupied. She just laid there the whole time and never responded, except for a few times to say "Ouch." FML
Today, my fiancee told me she felt horny and was excited for bed, then got mad when I seemed indifferent. I'd be more interested if she didn't constantly wind me up by talking about sex, then get cold feet the second we're alone. FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML
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Top comments
logic368 8
Man, errbody gettin cockblocked by the government...
raininginseattle 9
Congrats #2. You must be getting screwed by the government instead.
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Comments (195)
ThorPowaa 19
Man, you got shutdown harder than the government.
bfrishcosy31 6
Looks like this government shutdown is affecting everybody.
godfathermock 19
Next time don't allow republicans get away with shit. I bet Obama is getting the same answer from Michelle.
Jst4kicks 16
make sure she isnt cheating on you brochachoo
AshleyPooo5O3 3
what a lame ass , I would never turn down sex !
TheDrifter 24
Reeeaaally? Well then...
shmaidy 17
Maybe you should've gone down harder than the government
shutupmichaela 18
THANKS A LOT, OBAMA
honeybeeki 14
Ladies and gentlemen... This is why men cheat.
allplayedout 20
Try asking her about it at a time you're not actively pressuring her for sex. Don't use accusatory language like "you are never in the mood," either.
Emot1on 4
i bet you were just that "romantic" as you r telling here....