Today, trying to be romantic, I started coming on to my wife while in bed, only for her to yet again say she wasn't in the mood. When I asked why she never is lately, she sarcastically blamed it on the government shutdown, then rolled over to go to sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, for the third time this week, I came home to my wife asleep in bed, her pants down, and her vibrator in her hand. She keeps refusing sex because she "isn't in the mood" and insists there's nothing wrong. To rub salt in the wound, I bought her the vibrator as a gift, hoping to spice things up. FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, when the power went out, my wife said it was too bad we couldn't have sex by candlelight since she had just started her period. The only time she brings up sex is when we can't do it. FML
Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML
Today, after weeks of every excuse not to, my wife wanted sex. It was amazing, and she had at least 3 orgasms. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she got up like someone kicked her and started bitching about all the things she could have been doing, as she got dressed and stormed out. FML
Today, I started making love to my wife as soon as the kids were occupied. She just laid there the whole time and never responded, except for a few times to say "Ouch." FML
Today, my fiancee told me she felt horny and was excited for bed, then got mad when I seemed indifferent. I'd be more interested if she didn't constantly wind me up by talking about sex, then get cold feet the second we're alone. FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML
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Top comments
logic368 8
Man, errbody gettin cockblocked by the government...
raininginseattle 9
Congrats #2. You must be getting screwed by the government instead.
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Comments (195)
NUMANUMAMAN 5
thanks Obama
beachygirl24 13
Everyone is busy talking about the shutdown while my first thought was, " What a creative and cute username!" :)
tayrex77 3
she is probably turned off by you now. have you gained weight? are you losing your hair? are you not appreciating her like you used to? maybe try some romance, like dinner and a movie? I think she may just getting to that point in the relationship?
Evil_Wench 16
Wow, how shallow do you think women are? It'd take more than a little weight gain/hair loss to turn me off of my bloke. OP: sounds like you need to have a talk with her. She has every right to refuse, but she doesn't need to be a bitch about it.
cherryllollo 7
someone has been reading the Onion lately.
nikhilambhorkar 24
This is how government ruins life!
jagott 4
I can't speak for all women in the world, However, in my experience as a woman, usually if I'm not interested in sex it's usually because I'm not getting an ****** or anywhere near. Who wants to be constantly disappointed? Especially as a result of sex... I'm not assuming that's the problem with OP and his wife but if it is then he needs to complain less and start focusing on learning how to get her off. If that's not the problem and she's consistently turning him down then there needs to be a serious conversation b/c sex can't make a relationship but it can break one. Actually, either way there needs to be a conversation.
monnanon 14
i find that when i turn down sex its because i dont want sex. theres no big reason behind it i just dont want it. im not depressed, annoyed at my spouse, unfufilled in bed or cheating sometimes i just dont wqnt have sex.
xSkittle 16
#119 Don't expect your man to do all the work. Tell him what you like and how you get an ****** when doing it solo.
Mademoiselle_fml 34
#123 Neither side should do more work than the other. Both sides are at fault because OP's wife isn't talking and neither is OP. #1 rule for a great relationship is communication, and that's obviously missing here.
love_me_electric 20
When I turn down sex, it's usually because I'm just not horny. Maybe she has some kind of hormone imbalance that's interfering with her sex drive or maybe she's going through menopause? When I was on birth control it messed up my hormones so bad I never wanted to have sex. Even with foreplay, I just could not enjoy it.
buckdharma 38
Maybe she feels like the man is just sticking it to her in more ways than one. In both cases a conversation may be all that's necessary.
DenBriZel 31
THANKS OBAMA
pdp_fml 21
She's lying. Just go to sleep and get a good nights rest and try again later.
skyeyez9 25
If she was already asleep, waking her up cause you're horny can be annoying. Or during the day you do things that irritate her: not cleaning up after yourself, not helping with the kids, or not helping around the house. Make her do all the work and she is now tired, and you expect sex afterwards.
QueenSaru 28
Then that's what she should be saying, instead of apparently expecting her husband to be psychic? There's nothing wrong with not being in the mood for sex. There's nothing wrong with being tired, or being frustrated by your spouse's actions during the day (or night). However, you're adults, not children. Communicate! Tell him, "I'm sorry, I'm just not in the mood right now." or "I'm tired." or "I'm a bit frustrated with you right now, you haven't done the laundry all week, and I've made dinner every day after work." Don't say, "If you don't know I'm not going to tell you." or anything of that ilk. Don't give the silent treatment and then get annoyed when they get annoyed. Communication is important. When things don't get talked about (even little things like chores, etc) they fester until BIG arguments happen.