Today, trying to be romantic, I started coming on to my wife while in bed, only for her to yet again say she wasn't in the mood. When I asked why she never is lately, she sarcastically blamed it on the government shutdown, then rolled over to go to sleep. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, for the third time this week, I came home to my wife asleep in bed, her pants down, and her vibrator in her hand. She keeps refusing sex because she "isn't in the mood" and insists there's nothing wrong. To rub salt in the wound, I bought her the vibrator as a gift, hoping to spice things up. FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, when the power went out, my wife said it was too bad we couldn't have sex by candlelight since she had just started her period. The only time she brings up sex is when we can't do it. FML
Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML
Today, after weeks of every excuse not to, my wife wanted sex. It was amazing, and she had at least 3 orgasms. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she got up like someone kicked her and started bitching about all the things she could have been doing, as she got dressed and stormed out. FML
Today, I started making love to my wife as soon as the kids were occupied. She just laid there the whole time and never responded, except for a few times to say "Ouch." FML
Today, my fiancee told me she felt horny and was excited for bed, then got mad when I seemed indifferent. I'd be more interested if she didn't constantly wind me up by talking about sex, then get cold feet the second we're alone. FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML
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Top comments
logic368 8
Man, errbody gettin cockblocked by the government...
raininginseattle 9
Congrats #2. You must be getting screwed by the government instead.
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Comments (195)
Duoceros 22
Sounds like y'all may need to have a good old fashioned sit down to talk everything out, ask her to air out her grievances and listen to her without going on the attack or being overly defensive. Ask her for solutions to what has been bothering her and find out what is missing in the relationship. You'd be surprised how regular check-in chats, self-assessments, and correction of poor behavior can reignite the passion in a marriage. Keep in mind that sex drive can be affected by a plethora of health and age related issues so if everything is A-OK in the relationship department then maybe there is something else being ignored besides your sexual needs.
hollywoodt1ts 15
FYL, OP. Honestly, women's attitudes change often. They want you to control them. They want you to love them. They want you to leave them alone. It's a vicious circle.
blayzie420 7
probably cheating on you
awilso13 8
ThAts ****** up. Lol
radioedit 7
That sux, hopefully she's not cheating on you.
smilequeen0222 3
thanks obama
CelticReverie 5
Stupid bitch
Spartan1127106 5
Damn dude I'm sorry that's just rough. There has to be more to this especially if she said it sarcastically
mosquito19 14
it's called laziness
baba01_fml 17
Cheatin