Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayn Malik leaving One Direction, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future. As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to not beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML
Today, I tried to drown out the petulant whining of my idiot coworker as he droned on and on about how, “bitches don’t appreciate good men.” He’s 35, lives at home, still uses the term 'friendzone' and has the hygiene of a sewer-dwelling ogre. I was written up for for snapping and yelling at him. FML
Today, a patient, who is normally pretty chill, was being quite difficult for my workmates. They were whinging about him and I defended him, he's normally a sweet guy so something must be upsetting him. I went to chat with him, he punched me and called a useless a**hole. FML
Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I'm thinking of quitting the awesome job I love with coworkers I adore, because I keep fucking up every part of my job, making them pick up the pieces and correct my failures. They don't deserve this. FML
Today, like every day, my coworker showed up thirty minutes late, sat down for thirty more checking email while I got the morning work done alone, listening to her bitch about how much she hates her job and wants to go home. My coworkers criticized me for being moody, and praised her for being the best. FML
Today, while finishing up at work, I started helping a co-worker out with his workload since I'd finished mine. His girlfriend apparently didn't like this and started slamming things around, constantly muttering passive aggressive comments because she wanted to help him. I work with idiots. FML
Today, I found myself cussing out the next dipshit fucked in the head enough to open its bitch mouth and mumble to itself about how I was the newest main stressor of it’s bitch-fit of a day. Taking into account the pathetic aspect of “rubbing it in” I then proceeded to cuss out the next person who got in my way. FML
Today, my coworker told me when we got to work that she purposely left her phone at home. I then had to suffer 8 hours of listening to her constantly whine like a toddler about how much she missed her phone. FML
Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friendzone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
WCARlover 35
It's scary that there are workforce-aged people thinking like your coworkers 0.o
quesok 22
One Direction=Wrong Direction We all feel your pain
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (270)
sophiedifran 10
*Zayn
Hiimhaileypotter 53
It's not that important, we get the point even if his name is not spelled perfectly in all of the comments.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
(didn't edit soon enough) Even though it also isn't spelled right in the FML it doesn't matter, really... not enough for all these people to comment the correction. :P
Bekahlynn99 14
Zayn** check your privilege.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
I'm not making fun of you for this, but do you work at McDonalds or any fast food restaurant? Because the only people who would be crying about something related to One Direction would be high school girls.
rsue 14
YDI for being a douchebag about other people liking something you don't. There are guys all over Facebook right now whining because Jeremy Clarkson is leaving Top Gear. Cities have literally BURNED when people rioted over their sports team losing (or winning). But when teenage girls get upset about something they're invested in, suddenly they're the hysterical and irrational ones.
pizzaloverchick 9
BREAKING NEWS: Teen girls all over the world have been cutting themselves because of celebrity Zayn Malik leaving his band, One Direction.
killigan 12
That's what I would like to call "mental instability".
FMLworthy5000 21
*Zayn
zacxb 5
Zayn**
skylermontaine 3
You don't have to be rude about it..
feven 32
Yall need to calm down. I'd hate to see what would have happened if he had died :/
somechick8266 14
i understand if you happen to like them for some reason but come on it is not a tragedy. a tragedy is when people die or something like that not when a dude leaves a lil boy band dont worry kiddos im sure youll still see him