Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayn Malik leaving One Direction, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future. As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to not beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML
Today, I tried to drown out the petulant whining of my idiot coworker as he droned on and on about how, “bitches don’t appreciate good men.” He’s 35, lives at home, still uses the term 'friendzone' and has the hygiene of a sewer-dwelling ogre. I was written up for for snapping and yelling at him. FML
Today, a patient, who is normally pretty chill, was being quite difficult for my workmates. They were whinging about him and I defended him, he's normally a sweet guy so something must be upsetting him. I went to chat with him, he punched me and called a useless a**hole. FML
Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I'm thinking of quitting the awesome job I love with coworkers I adore, because I keep fucking up every part of my job, making them pick up the pieces and correct my failures. They don't deserve this. FML
Today, like every day, my coworker showed up thirty minutes late, sat down for thirty more checking email while I got the morning work done alone, listening to her bitch about how much she hates her job and wants to go home. My coworkers criticized me for being moody, and praised her for being the best. FML
Today, while finishing up at work, I started helping a co-worker out with his workload since I'd finished mine. His girlfriend apparently didn't like this and started slamming things around, constantly muttering passive aggressive comments because she wanted to help him. I work with idiots. FML
Today, I found myself cussing out the next dipshit fucked in the head enough to open its bitch mouth and mumble to itself about how I was the newest main stressor of it’s bitch-fit of a day. Taking into account the pathetic aspect of “rubbing it in” I then proceeded to cuss out the next person who got in my way. FML
Today, my coworker told me when we got to work that she purposely left her phone at home. I then had to suffer 8 hours of listening to her constantly whine like a toddler about how much she missed her phone. FML
Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friendzone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
It's scary that there are workforce-aged people thinking like your coworkers 0.o
quesok 22
One Direction=Wrong Direction We all feel your pain
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Comments (270)
Umbreon_Princess 12
Oh gods I feel for you on this one! I got on Facebook after school today to find that over half of the people in my friends list had posted at least four things about how "music died today" and that "theres no reason to live anymore" and I'm just sitting there like "guys get the f**k over it, they arent all that good or cute anyway." I can't wait to have to walk through the crowds of crying teenagers tomorrow! -_-
The_Skittish_One 27
Jeez, that's a violent reaction. By all means be annoyed at them, but it scares me how many some people think like you; just because you do not like the band does not mean that other people can't be sad about something like this. I am not a fan of One Direction but I respect people's rights to enjoy them. Would you have had the same reaction if they were crying over a band that you too were sad about splitting up?
Kaylynn_Michele7 12
Bless you and your future offspring :,)
Brandi_Faith 34
People are all for tolerance...up until there's a conversation about music. Then everyone is better than everyone else, and want to beat people up for the others "stupidity." Although people that react so dramatically over things like this is definitely annoying, but just ignore it like you do when any idiot talks about anything stupid. I'm sure these are the first annoying people you've run into this week.
cesa12 10
people saying things like this are being really disrespectful to the ones who like the band. people cry over their favorite sports teams losing and the players moving all the time, but once a boy band member leaves the group everyone is annoyed by it? it's simply because they're teenage girls crying over music, and not adults crying over sports. i would just remove yourself if you don't want to hear the conversation. there's no need for you to keep listening if you don't want to hear it.
HeyImAmy 20
You all are gonna be glad you met me. Why? Because me and thousands of other teenagers are gonna make your lives a living hell. 12 years old? Oh hell no! You just messed with the wrong 23 year old! Go take your hate elsewhere!
Kaylynn_Michele7 12
Bless you and your future offspring :,)
tuslaw12 13
23 is not teenager status anymore. It's time to grow up and stop worrying about a band
Gabilliam 19
I'm embarrassed for you
AllSoul 23
#36 What are you planning on doing? Now that we've messed with the wrong 23 year old?
Kaylynn_Michele7 12
I'm a fan of One Direction,, and I'm greatly devastated. One of my only sources of happiness is Zayn. I know, I'd be annoyed to, but don't say terrible things in the comments or anything, guys. It's called respect. I respect other artists even if they annoy me.
kuro21 20
Respect is earned not given. I respect the men who give their lives for their countries. I don't respect those that say they demand my respect because they're older.
KeannaLove 32
Not to sound rude, but why is this so devastating? He's not dead and he always has the choice to go back. It's not the end of the world. He's not exactly making the world a better place.
siggy_mcsigx 22
Hey hun, take a minute and listen to Repeat Stuff by Bo Burnham You don't need to place Your value on some celebrity's!
Maycontainnuts 17
You could say the same thing about people's reactions to Clarkson leaving.
VeganDarkLight 31
Bless you and your future offspring :,)
0ss 12
Children in third world countries are starving to death, minorities of all social groups face hardship, yet a band member opts to leave the group and this is the reason you're devestated.
lvg_fml 10
As the mother of a heartbroken 16 year old daughter I resent your aggression. Let people feel how they feel. Don't judge. If you are so intent on judging others you are not a pacifist
cheeeksss 29
Lol. "Heartbroken"..? Zayn didn't dump her. Or die.
alex_gen 39
At least it wasn't Justine Bieber.
guaromx2 3
I think you need to be more tolerant towards other's tastes. I mean, one direction sucks but you have no right to hate on their fans.
BlondePsycho 43
I, and the internet disagree with you
xLIGHTS_fml 23
You are badly mistaken, #103.
interesting33 37
Unfortunately most of the fml comments seem to be entirely agreeing that it is ok to dismiss 1d fans being upset
mads_nicole 19
Wowwwww...I'm not an overly obsessed fan girl like many out there are but DAMN. Yall are assholes..you'd be hurt too if something happened to someone/something you care about...
amileah13 26
Good grief people it's not the end of the world. People are more upset about that rather than the more serious issues of the world. It is not the end of the world people, respect his decision
wildnargles 15
So your telling me you've never been upset about something superficial? I'm sorry but people should have the right to be upset about stupid things, not everything has to be serious 24/7.
gobiteme2 34
You never know he might hook up with Justin B