Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayn Malik leaving One Direction, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future. As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to not beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML
Today, I tried to drown out the petulant whining of my idiot coworker as he droned on and on about how, “bitches don’t appreciate good men.” He’s 35, lives at home, still uses the term 'friendzone' and has the hygiene of a sewer-dwelling ogre. I was written up for for snapping and yelling at him. FML
Today, a patient, who is normally pretty chill, was being quite difficult for my workmates. They were whinging about him and I defended him, he's normally a sweet guy so something must be upsetting him. I went to chat with him, he punched me and called a useless a**hole. FML
Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I'm thinking of quitting the awesome job I love with coworkers I adore, because I keep fucking up every part of my job, making them pick up the pieces and correct my failures. They don't deserve this. FML
Today, like every day, my coworker showed up thirty minutes late, sat down for thirty more checking email while I got the morning work done alone, listening to her bitch about how much she hates her job and wants to go home. My coworkers criticized me for being moody, and praised her for being the best. FML
Today, while finishing up at work, I started helping a co-worker out with his workload since I'd finished mine. His girlfriend apparently didn't like this and started slamming things around, constantly muttering passive aggressive comments because she wanted to help him. I work with idiots. FML
Today, I found myself cussing out the next dipshit fucked in the head enough to open its bitch mouth and mumble to itself about how I was the newest main stressor of it’s bitch-fit of a day. Taking into account the pathetic aspect of “rubbing it in” I then proceeded to cuss out the next person who got in my way. FML
Today, my coworker told me when we got to work that she purposely left her phone at home. I then had to suffer 8 hours of listening to her constantly whine like a toddler about how much she missed her phone. FML
Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friendzone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
It's scary that there are workforce-aged people thinking like your coworkers 0.o
quesok 22
One Direction=Wrong Direction We all feel your pain
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Comments (270)
ridwaanrazak 3
Why the **** is their conversation any of your business anyway?
heynoneed 3
**Zayn :)... just saying he was a big part of lots of peoples lives... I mean five years and their music really helped a lot of people overcome a lot of shit... I Dont think you'll understand unless you're coming from a directioner pov even though it sounds sad... yeah...
interesting33 37
I guess the point is that even if you don't feel the same, some people are upset and that is ok. They should be allowed to be upset. Respect has been used a lot - just respect people's feelings. Within reason. For you, maybe crying over this is unreasonable, but for a lot of people it isn't. As long as it isn't destroying their lives or yours then it is ok.
quarterbird 18
Your situation sucks, OP... But your description of your mental state is epic. For that alone, you FML is the best FML of the day.
rdenkewicz 11
You live in New Jersey and THIS was the thing that almost set you off?!
upallnight11 19
*Zayn
limabeans101029 21
Nobody cares.
rocketgurl 15
I thought One Direction had gone out but apparently I was wrong. Those girls need to suck it the **** up.
myanichole 22
You people are ******* assholes. There's no reason they shouldn't upset because he left the band. It may not seem like a big deal to some of you but it really affected others. Any other band you'd be fine with but because it's one direction. If you don't like it ignore it...
Cebolamole 13
I hope you meant "school mates".
heyitsmikayla 14
It's Zayn you dumb ****