Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayn Malik leaving One Direction, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future. As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to not beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML
Today, I tried to drown out the petulant whining of my idiot coworker as he droned on and on about how, “bitches don’t appreciate good men.” He’s 35, lives at home, still uses the term 'friendzone' and has the hygiene of a sewer-dwelling ogre. I was written up for for snapping and yelling at him. FML
Today, a patient, who is normally pretty chill, was being quite difficult for my workmates. They were whinging about him and I defended him, he's normally a sweet guy so something must be upsetting him. I went to chat with him, he punched me and called a useless a**hole. FML
Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I'm thinking of quitting the awesome job I love with coworkers I adore, because I keep fucking up every part of my job, making them pick up the pieces and correct my failures. They don't deserve this. FML
Today, like every day, my coworker showed up thirty minutes late, sat down for thirty more checking email while I got the morning work done alone, listening to her bitch about how much she hates her job and wants to go home. My coworkers criticized me for being moody, and praised her for being the best. FML
Today, while finishing up at work, I started helping a co-worker out with his workload since I'd finished mine. His girlfriend apparently didn't like this and started slamming things around, constantly muttering passive aggressive comments because she wanted to help him. I work with idiots. FML
Today, I found myself cussing out the next dipshit fucked in the head enough to open its bitch mouth and mumble to itself about how I was the newest main stressor of it’s bitch-fit of a day. Taking into account the pathetic aspect of “rubbing it in” I then proceeded to cuss out the next person who got in my way. FML
Today, my coworker told me when we got to work that she purposely left her phone at home. I then had to suffer 8 hours of listening to her constantly whine like a toddler about how much she missed her phone. FML
Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friendzone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
It's scary that there are workforce-aged people thinking like your coworkers 0.o
quesok 22
One Direction=Wrong Direction We all feel your pain
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Comments (270)
YellowTiger 12
I've been an anti directioner since 2011. So today I'm celebrating.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
People can stop commenting "*Zayn" now... WE GET IT, his name is spelled wrong. Not the end of the world, and neither is him leaving the band. Some people are acting as if he's dead and it's a bit extreme.
jackthekeeper 24
I suppose you could say Zayne *puts on sunglasses* is going another direction
ArtemisRwill 22
*slow clap*
ArtemisRwill 22
A few of the bands that I like have had members leave and/or broken up over the years. Saying something along the lines of "Oh, that sucks" or "That's to bad" is about as far as people should be going. And (I hate to repeat almost everybody) you aren't friends with this person, he didn't die, and it's not a life shattering moment. You need to chill the hell out.
Wraith09 15
Now who here among us haven't thought about beating the piss out of someone (I do like the added touch of throwing their broken remains out the window. ) for starting and continuing an inane, annoying, and even in a very small scale of things that are important, a useless conversation. And very few things are more inane and useless than a discussion of boy bands and their members. Excepting of course, any discussion or re-hash of a battle in Halo. Even more useless a discussion topic than boy bands. But O.P. was merely showing his distain for such topics, not glorifying the imagined violence. O.P. also restrained themselves by NOT acting on the violent urges, but venting in writing here. Perfectly acceptable. I myself had to tell a 30 something co-work to shut the hell up when she tried to bring up this topic. Why? Because I don't care and don't want to hear it at work. Same as I don't want to hear about celebrity weddings, or royal births. I'm at work, not a social gathering. So O.P., keep on with the 1D hate, and keep venting here.
SnailExpo 5
I really don't think the whining was that serious enough to cause you to think this. Sounds like an exaggeration I don't see why people get so upset, just ignore it if you don't like it.
asm9296 3
who the heck is one direction! never heard of him!
tobiluvswaffles 9
Dude, **** off. You're the only dipshit here. If two people expexpressing their feelings to each other in a private conversation makes you want to literally kill them, you're not a pacifist and are just a dick.
chelseahere143 12
zayn*
mads_nicole 19
Yall are a bunch of assholes