Intimacy, Sex, Awkward and TikTok: TikTok strikes again - FML

TikTok strikes again

By Anonymous - 10/01/2022 14:01

Spicy

Today, I tried the 'drop the towel' challenge in front of my wife so I could record her reaction for TikTok, and maybe get some weekend booty. She barely even reacted, gave me the 'go away I’m busy' arm wave, and when I didn’t leave fast enough, she actually whipped my knob with her charging cable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 131

You deserved it 1 957

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Banned

By Helen - 22/03/2021 07:01 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, while showing my mum how to make a TikTok, she not only found the masturbation video I made to send to my husband while he’s away for work, she accidentally managed to post it to TikTok. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 1 501

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 04/05/2021 02:01

Spicy

Today, I caught my wife trying to give herself oral sex. It was sexy and also kinda funny, so I offered to do it to her properly. She got explosively mad for some reason and actually threw me out. I’m writing this from my brother's spare room, wondering where I went wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 774

You deserved it 357

Gotcha

By Embarassed - 23/11/2012 06:14 - United States - Kent

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 890

You deserved it 15 997

Surprised indeed

By fredo - 19/03/2013 12:31 - United States - Ames

Spicy

Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 064

You deserved it 24 113

This is the rhythm of the night

By rikitsumiatsu - 10/04/2020 02:00

Today, my wife showed me a video she took of me last night. I was shit-faced, dancing half naked to '90s club music in the middle of the street at midnight. She won't stop laughing at me and replaying the video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 2 268

By Anonymous - 07/06/2015 07:54 - United States - Wheatland

Spicy

Today, I tried talking to my wife about our sexless marriage. Her only response was to toss me a sock and say "Knock yourself out, fuckstick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 753

You deserved it 4 412

By Korisite - 30/10/2011 05:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 261

You deserved it 25 002

Deez nutz hurtz

By Anonymous - 11/03/2020 15:01

Spicy

Today, I was about to have sex with my wife, so I walked into our room naked, but then whacked myself in the nuts with the door handle as I attempted to close it. She can't stop laughing, and I can't sit down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 085

You deserved it 524

Rejection erection

By paidback - 25/12/2009 01:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 666

You deserved it 83 349

Busting makes me feel good

By Anonymous - 03/02/2023 12:00

Spicy

Today, my husband suggested we start making pornos online to make ends meet. I told him, “You bust so quickly, it’ll have to be a TikTok.” He’s been pouting all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 219

You deserved it 454

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Monday 10 January 2022 14:45

Is this an FML or how your OnlyFans BDSM account starts?

randybryant799 20

Monday 10 January 2022 21:37

Some weekend booty? I don't blame your wife for shooing you away.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Monday 10 January 2022 14:45

Is this an FML or how your OnlyFans BDSM account starts?

randybryant799 20

Monday 10 January 2022 21:37

Some weekend booty? I don't blame your wife for shooing you away.

EpicOracle 23

Monday 10 January 2022 23:47

*insert that cat squeak*

BurnInDemonFire 34

Wednesday 12 January 2022 14:47

YDI you little prick. You too OP.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Management Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Am I overreacting? Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Love Dating Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 64

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 596

You deserved it 9 209

The Top

Today, after not dating for 2 years, I went out on 2 dates. I got stood up both times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 176

You deserved it 150

Today, my dad refused to believe that the Animal Planet's mermaid mockumentaries were faked. Instead he got into a huge argument with me, claiming the government is covering up the existence of mermaids and must've threatened the producers to keep it quiet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 495

You deserved it 5 423

Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 369

You deserved it 47 335

Today, my doctor confirmed that the extreme pain I've been experiencing is due to a kidney stone. My friend decided this was the time to tell me that passing a kidney stone is the male equivalent of child birth. Hello even more pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 270

You deserved it 4 534

Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 781

You deserved it 5 566

Today, I moved in with my new dorm mate. I'm prone to very frequent panic attacks that can only be alleviated by cold air. My roommate is severely anemic, and has violent shivering fits when the temperature is below 80. No matter what, one of us is always shaking uncontrollably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 578

You deserved it 4 182