Today, once again, I explained that yes, I'm Russian. No, I'm not a communist. No, I don't pray to a picture of Putin riding a bear. And no, I don't have any vodka on me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, a Russian guy came up to me on the train and informed me that I look exactly like a typical Russian woman. He then went on to explain that I even had enough fat to survive their cold winters. FML
Today, several Ukrainians didn't believe me when I said I was American. Apparently I'm not fat enough. FML
Today, I had to explain to a coworker that even though, yes, I’m Polish and, yes, my family’s from Poland, that, no, we’re not from The North Pole. We’re not from Antarctica either. FML
Today, I learned that the guy I was dating got with me under the impression that I was Asian. I have Asian features but I’m from Kazakhstan, which is a former Soviet country part of Asia. When I told him I spoke Russian, he called me a “communist Putin puppet” and to “stop making up fake countries.” FML
Today, my now-former friend explained in extreme hyperbole that the only reason Russia invaded Ukraine is because Zelensky is a zionist agent meant to make Putin and Trump look bad. He stopped taking my calls after I asked him to explain this. FML
Today, we had to sit our friend down and explain that President Zelensky is not a Mossad agent/US puppet who forced Putin to invade Ukraine. He responded by talking about Hunter Biden for an hour. FML
Today, I had to do community service work, so I helped out at a senior center. One of the confused elderly patients, who believed the Cold War was still on, thought I was a Soviet and started screaming about how I was going to nuke his country. FML
Today, my very handsome, fit, Russian boyfriend tried to make me feel better about being a little overweight by telling me, "It's okay, you're American, everyone expects you to be fat." FML
Today, for the fifth time this month, I had to explain to a group of people that yes, my name really is Donald Trump. Like all the other groups, they burst out laughing and did some Trump impressions for 15 minutes. FML
Today, I had to explain to half of my class that yes, my birthday is on the same day as Hitler's, but no, it does not make me a Nazi. FML
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Top comments
MrConcise 35
No vodka on you? What good is being Russian? I'm sincerely disappointed, OP.
Wizardo 34
As any well trained sleeper cell is meant to do buddy.
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Comments (191)
skepijohnson 11
It says you are from B.C. C'mon.
Shade1982 21
Well, of course it does. Said post would be even more ridiculous if he was still living in Russia. People do migrate you know...
daretotell 7
So.... when did you stop being a communist, what is Out in riding in the picture of his that you pray to, and if you don't have any vodka on you, where do you keep your vodka.
blackonblight 33
Well, bet you're kicking yourself over that last one. Probably would have made things tolerable.
MashaV 6
I've been there! Im Russian too and I've heard more than enough of that nonsense... I try to laugh it off but when people make vodka jokes too much it just gets annoying. It's really exciting when i meet other Russian people at school though and we can rant about it to each other.
prettygurl89 16
I didn't even know those were stereotypes lol
dcea 17
Yup, my parents are mexican and they never have any tacos on them.
illumanati 10
Damn stereotypes
drw1204d1 7
That's preposterous!! Everyone should have vodka!
CandyApple88 13
Of course you don't have vodka, you finished it all off at breakfast. Some people are just SMRT smart. Just work on some dumb-ass answers that amuse you for the next time people ask you stupid questions. Its what I do to avoid those sorts of headaches.
briannaaaleighhh 14
I know the feeling. I'm Irish and when people find out they all ask if I love potatoes and if I'm an alcoholic. Potatoes, yes. Alcohol? I'm 13 -_-