Today, once again, I explained that yes, I'm Russian. No, I'm not a communist. No, I don't pray to a picture of Putin riding a bear. And no, I don't have any vodka on me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, a Russian guy came up to me on the train and informed me that I look exactly like a typical Russian woman. He then went on to explain that I even had enough fat to survive their cold winters. FML
Today, several Ukrainians didn't believe me when I said I was American. Apparently I'm not fat enough. FML
Today, I had to explain to a coworker that even though, yes, I’m Polish and, yes, my family’s from Poland, that, no, we’re not from The North Pole. We’re not from Antarctica either. FML
Today, I learned that the guy I was dating got with me under the impression that I was Asian. I have Asian features but I’m from Kazakhstan, which is a former Soviet country part of Asia. When I told him I spoke Russian, he called me a “communist Putin puppet” and to “stop making up fake countries.” FML
Today, my now-former friend explained in extreme hyperbole that the only reason Russia invaded Ukraine is because Zelensky is a zionist agent meant to make Putin and Trump look bad. He stopped taking my calls after I asked him to explain this. FML
Today, we had to sit our friend down and explain that President Zelensky is not a Mossad agent/US puppet who forced Putin to invade Ukraine. He responded by talking about Hunter Biden for an hour. FML
Today, I had to do community service work, so I helped out at a senior center. One of the confused elderly patients, who believed the Cold War was still on, thought I was a Soviet and started screaming about how I was going to nuke his country. FML
Today, my very handsome, fit, Russian boyfriend tried to make me feel better about being a little overweight by telling me, "It's okay, you're American, everyone expects you to be fat." FML
Today, for the fifth time this month, I had to explain to a group of people that yes, my name really is Donald Trump. Like all the other groups, they burst out laughing and did some Trump impressions for 15 minutes. FML
Today, I had to explain to half of my class that yes, my birthday is on the same day as Hitler's, but no, it does not make me a Nazi. FML
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Top comments
MrConcise 35
No vodka on you? What good is being Russian? I'm sincerely disappointed, OP.
Wizardo 34
As any well trained sleeper cell is meant to do buddy.
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Comments (191)
lizink7 4
I feel your pain. I am Russian also and i get asked the same questions. plus a few other stupider ones.
SerenaIncendia 11
Dan is that you? Lol jk :) mother russia for the win!
733yoda_fml 19
You don't?
morbid1 2
Well wtf man, we expect these things. Will you at least say "comrade" or "proletarian regime" for us in that eastern European accent?
DemonBoy1988 22
Shame about the vodka
Host2phats 21
This is just too damn funny. Picturing someone praying to Putin riding a bear, while drinking vodka, is too funny. But sorry for you being stereotyped
memestasquaper 10
Putin on the bear is my screen saver
ZombieSlaya115 17
lol
KingKralj 31
I feel your pain. Whenever I tell people I'm part German, they always ask if I have something to do with Hitler .-.