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There was a post on Whisper just last night on the "no means no" subject. I was disgustingly surprised by how many men commented that "no doesn't always mean no," "women need to know their place," "girls just want to be pursued," and "you just have to convince them they really do want it." There were even worse, repulsive, vulgar comments that I won't mention here. It's horrible that people still think and act this way. Who in the fuck is teaching them this??? This is one of the reasons why rape happens.
These comments make it sound like you don't think men get raped or forced into sex too. Look at FML's with sex. Any how a woman wants sex and doesn't get it, "dump him", "maybe he's gay", etc. Both genders need to respectful of boundaries. It's not just guys that overstep.
cake, very good point. often people don't think of men getting raped because, although it happens, it is less likely, and when it does, its not publicized and the guy probably doesn't want to tell anyone so he doesn't seem "like a pussy" which is sad. my heart goes out to them
While I agree with most of your statements there are some women who like to be pursued, some even aggressively. While I know that's not for everyone myself included. I pursued my wife, even if at first she only wanted to be friends. We are happily married and have great kids but no means no in the bedroom yes and even touching is no means no.
63, I'm glad things worked out for you. i do think, however, that there's a difference between pursuing a woman you like to get a date and believing that trying to force someone unwilling into sex "makes them feel pursued." I think the latter is more of the pursuit the Whisper men were talking about. I completely see your point, though. Sorry if I misunderstood your post at all.
#29 and #40 I do know that men get raped, too. Sometimes it's worse for them because when they try to press charges or tell people about it, they get made fun of and bullied just because of their gender. To me, rape is rape no matter who does it to who. #32 Yeah, I found that out about ANY equality a while ago. Well, Whisper is the app of secrets, and no one is afraid to say what they truly feel on there.
I think people don't think men get raped because is not by physical force. often when it happens its because a Guy really likes/ loves a girl and is put into a situation where if they don't take the next step forward they will lose them. they don't want to, but if they don't the ggirl will leave them for someone who will.
Good thing you saw a brief discussion on the Internet that very clearly summarizes the thoughts of every male out there. Or you saw a couple of posts on a gossip site by some assholes who don't give a shit. PS, women can be rapists too. Stop over generalizing guys and the reasons behind rape based on your own opinions.
#91 Did you not read my second comment? Yes, I do know that rapists come from both genders, and, no, I said nothing about every guy being that way. I was talking about those who made such comments believing that "no really doesn't mean no." Don't change my words around!
#79, There is no difference between males and females being raped. Get that mentality out of your head. Rape is rape regardless of who does it or why. Being both a male victim and escaping a separate situation, I can say firmly that people who think there is a difference because of gender are just as at fault as those men on Whisper. #78, Just no. A person doing it out of fear of losing someone isn't rape, UNLESS they are being threatened with the person saying they will break up with them unless they have sex. There is the threat and/or enactment of violence, the use of emotional and/or mental manipulation, and/or drugs as the ways of raping someone. My SRT teacher during junior year of high school told us about when she was working as an HR rep and a gay guy came in because a group of females raped him by tying him up so he couldn't move or resist. The guy was timid and probably wouldn't have fought back anyhow, but still. And it was all because the women had a thought that he would have wanted it just because he was a guy. It happens violently for some. In my case, the first time it happened I can't remember if it was violent or not. But the failed attempt was through emotional abuse tactics mixed with physically attempting. Because I said no and got a way, she ended up screwing my coworker, the guy who trained me for my job at the time, so it doesn't just happen the way you think it does. #43 You women need to learn "No means no" too. It is not gender exclusive.
I had a guy stop calling me after I didn't have sex with him on the first date. I told him I was six months out of a three year relationship with my ex fiancé and I wasn't ready yet. I am really sure he did me a favor.
"Friendzone" is a term used by bitter guys who think that just because they're "nice" and "sweet" and do everything for their crush, they automatically expect that the girl should also have romantic feelings back for that guy
Actually it's not. It's a term used when the girl is leading the guy on for long periods of time using him and then when his feelings develop to a level that he can't take being friends anymore she hits him with the " I can't believe I have such a good friend like you " or something along those lines. Pretty much shattering his kind personality into tiny pieces creating an asshole.
19, nobody owes you or anyone like you a relationship. If you don't want to be friends with them, move along. If you do, don't expect to put friendship tokens in until a relationship pops out. That's not how it works. I'd bet good money that your definition of "leading a guy on" is the girl being friendly towards someone she believes to be her fucking friend.
I only find the friend zone legit when they fall for a douche who doesn't do anything for her and barely even likes her, and/or they confess their feelings and anon crush is like "Ohhh, you're like a friend to me, I can't date you," then falls for aforementioned douche.
And friendship isn't a consolation prize to the 'jackpot' of getting laid! I admit, some people are players, gold-diggers, etc. & lead suitors on to garner gifts, meals, etc., but when friendship is as far as the relationship should progress, in the eyes of one party, the other party shouldn't act like they've been ripped off because they were denied intimacy.
Personally I don't expect that my crush likes me back, I usually just wish that they do. If they don't and only see me as a friend, I'm sad that they see me that way and nothing more, but I eventually have to move on. I'm still good friends with a girl I asked out, and there's no hard feelings.
Right. It is fair to be frustrated that someone you really like has told you they will only ever think of you as a friend. Maybe the term friendzoned was coined just so people could commiserate about that disappointment. But acting entitled is exactly what ruins the sentiment.
no i have been lead on by girls purposely with them telling me how they like me and stuff but when i tried to advanced they either came out and said you're a brother or best friend or ended up using me to get to someone else while being told im there best friend so i dont agree with its bitter men thats not right and u cannot put that label on everyone