Today, my wife and I were getting intimate for the first time in several months. Then we heard our son yelling from the other room needing my help. He needed me to scratch his foot because the cat was on his lap and he couldn't reach it. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was getting frisky with my husband under the covers in bed. My son decided to run into our room and cannonball on top of my husband. This startled him, which caused him to bite me. FML
Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML
Today, I was jerking off when my cat jumped out of nowhere and dug his claws into my shaft. Attempting to knock him away resulted in three nasty gashes… that I now have to explain to my wife. FML
Today, my wife and I were getting intimate in the morning. First time in forever. Things were just starting to get steamy when our 10-month-old daughter woke up. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I started to be intimate after a run of dry spells. I was looking forward to this, until one of our kids came barging into our room and ruined the moment for the rest of the night. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML
Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML
Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML
Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML
Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML
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Top comments
bettyc4 26
Cockblocked!
aeshleyrose 6
You raised him, bud.
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Comments (140)
XeroGravity 3
Okay, first off. Your son could have scratched his foot with the other. Teach him to stop being a lazy shit. Second. Several months? The hell? You two need to communicate more often. And third. This is to the people saying "You're gross". Are you ******* 7? The kid should know that his parents make love. Hell, that's how he was made. Stop hiding nature.
luckygohappy 9
It depends on how old the kid is. He may be only 3 or 4 years old, in which case, I'd hope he doesn't know what his parents do behind closed doors. And maybe the reason his parents haven't had sex in months is that said kid has a new brother or sister.
choff47436 4
Sounds like you son gets more pussy than you do
BayleeTheLlama 3
Boner kill.
Naitras 15
Did anyone else notice it says "the first in in several"
tappm98 22
why would you be getting intimate with your kid in the next room....
cuddlebunny3548 11
It's your fault op for having your son in the house while getting intimate.
StreetReaper 9
Ok this is a news flash for all of the teens and Tweens on this site who think it's either gross or inappropriate for their parents to have sex. YOUR PARENTS STILL HAVE AND ENJOY SEX. It's how you got here. Just because they are older and don't party like a rockstar because of obligations like jobs and taking care of your lazy whiny asses, doesn't mean their libido disappeared. Sex is natural and a normal way for your parents, as adults to express their love to each other. Turn up the stereo, iPod, tv or Xbox and get over yourselves. You consume and demand too much of their time as it is. Let mom and dad have time for themselves.
crissaay 0
Awww how cute
1crabbygirl 10
That kid needs to scratch his own damned foot!
stephala23 0
Lol he meant to do that