Today, my wife and I were getting intimate for the first time in several months. Then we heard our son yelling from the other room needing my help. He needed me to scratch his foot because the cat was on his lap and he couldn't reach it. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was getting frisky with my husband under the covers in bed. My son decided to run into our room and cannonball on top of my husband. This startled him, which caused him to bite me. FML
Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML
Today, I was jerking off when my cat jumped out of nowhere and dug his claws into my shaft. Attempting to knock him away resulted in three nasty gashes… that I now have to explain to my wife. FML
Today, my wife and I were getting intimate in the morning. First time in forever. Things were just starting to get steamy when our 10-month-old daughter woke up. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I started to be intimate after a run of dry spells. I was looking forward to this, until one of our kids came barging into our room and ruined the moment for the rest of the night. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML
Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML
Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML
Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML
Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML
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Top comments
bettyc4 26
Cockblocked!
aeshleyrose 6
You raised him, bud.
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Comments (140)
arvale8802 1
Y havnt you slept w each other in MONTHS?
fsomelife 26
I'd suggest giving him a fork, but given the severity of the case, it would require a cork at the end, which would defeat its initial purpose.
brebear2014 0
Im glad my daughter is still a baby so me n my fiance can still be intimate easily atm lol
newburton13 26
Send his lazy ass to military school.
Parisgirl34 12
he sounds lazy
pheonix_flash 7
Sons first cockblock!
SpyroCool 13
To be fair, it's not like the cat was gonna move.
charlieoogx 7
Me
kittykat1501 31
Never disturb a sleeping cat, a happy cat, or a cat on a lap
rattyrayvn 21
He could hear you and needed an excuse to make you stop.