Today, my wife accused me of cheating. Why? Because I recently started working out, and according to her, no married man tries to improve his physique unless he's trying to look good for other women. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went running. My girlfriend was so surprised at the fact that I'm exercising that she accused me of making it up so I could cheat on her. I'm just trying to get in shape. FML
Today, my wife tried to forbid me from going to the gym anymore because in public she looks fat stood next to me and it’s embarrassing. She picked me up from the gym yesterday and saw all the “thin gym sluts” I prefer to spend my time with instead of her. God, I’m sick of her lazy jealous BS. FML
Today, I found out that my wife sent nudie pics to her ex-husband. My wife's excuse for the pics? "I needed a compliment because I thought you didn't love me." FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, my wife got fired for leaving work early once again. She's been doing random "spot checks" for the past month, convinced that she'll catch me cheating on her. This paranoid crap is exactly why I'm filing for divorce. FML
Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML
Today, after my wife said I could decide what to do with our spare room, I decided to make a home gym. She hasn't stopped ranting about "patriarchal diet culture" and "unrealistic body expectations" since. I just wanted to get fit. FML
Today, at the gym, a very attractive lady was working out in front of me, wearing tiny shorts that left zero to the imagination. I kept trying to avert my gaze, until her extremely buff boyfriend came over and threatened me. My crime? I wasn’t checking out his girl enough. FML
Today, my insanely jealous wife flipped out and made me promise never to hug any of my female friends or go to lunch with them, ever. It's "cheating." FML
Today, while working out at the gym, I paused to check out a beautiful woman. The guy behind me said "Are you going to do your set or are you going to keep staring at my wife?" FML
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Top comments
reshikrom 14
So stop for a little while and tell her she can't complain when you get fat.
uchua 16
Marriage logic.
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Comments (109)
breberry304 27
She obviously has something to worry about if you're calling her a neurotic wreck.
Solano2580 24
Considering you call her a neurotic wreck she just might not be wrong...
snazzymcwho 21
Ah yes, the woman is always the crazy one for conforming to a cultural stereotype. As previously stated, it actually IS a sign of having an affair and is often reinforced by the media. Your poor wife is probably insanely insecure and you're too much of an arrogant self absorbed prick to notice.
Jwaye2 7
I dont understand this logic. If i had an attractive girlfriend id love for her to want to look good and show her off when we go out. Would be a confidence boosts for both of us.
xenawpwa 4
Well, she's partially right. I noticed a guy at work started to go to the gym and also go tanning. Of course, it was for health reasons and to help him feel better about himself. Next thing you know, his wife wants a divorce. So....even though this was a shock to him, there must've been signs of some kind cuz he was working on his appearance.
bobslawnservice 16
#92 So that scenario means the guy was cheating on his wife and caused the divorce? It is scary that a huge percent of the women in this thread appear to be batshit insane.
OneSockThief 4
Work out together so she can see is for the both of you.
CuteKoalaGirl 18
Actually, one of my ex's started taking care of himself more when he was cheating on me. It's actually something that people do, not just guys. They try and look better for the fling because they're not as comfortable with the fling as they are their original partner. They get comfortable in a relationship, things slide, they 'let themselves go' and then when something exciting comes along (doesn't always have to be people, but it is in cases of cheaters) they start to work out. Ask her to come with you OP? Let her know you want to look and feel great together?
CuteKoalaGirl 18
I was also in a relationship that, whenever I'd try and dress nicer than normal, or wear makeup, or try and work out. I got the "who are you trying to impress?" "trying to cheat on me??" "Who's the other guy? HUH?!" type of thing. So... yeah... it worries not only girls. It was rough wanting to try and feel and look better, with that kind of crap happening as a result. As if it wasn't okay to want to change and feel better about myself. For me.
kewpiesuicide 29
Anybody who refers to their wife as a "neurotic wreck" on a social media forum, regardless of circumstance, probably has some communication issues. If your wife was secure in your feelings with her, you wouldn't be having this problem.
itooamscrewed 10
It's probably not just the working out that makes her think that. If you've been distant with her as well, she probably would suspect you're trying to look good for someone else since she feels you don't care about her. You guys need a long talk, preferably over a good meal!
Musicstruck17 24
Well don't get completely mad at her. Some men do actually start to smell better, look better because they have someone new to impress when they cheat. Since you are not cheating just calmly explain to her that you want to get in shape for health reasons and that you love her. She should understand and won't accuse you of such things.