Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a Diet Coke?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at lunch I ordered a Coke. The waiter replied, "Diet Coke?" and I corrected him saying, "No, regular Coke." He shook his head and said again, "Diet Coke." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to stop by a drive-thru on the way to his place. I asked him to order a Coke for me, at which point he asked if I wanted to make it a Diet Coke. FML
Today, I asked a girl at the restaurant I work at if she'd had enough to eat. When she said yes, I said, "Are you sure?" I didn't realize how insulting it sounded until her equally overweight mom was up in my face, demanding to see my manager. FML
Today, I ordered a Diet Coke with my meal from a fast food restaurant. Turns out, they didn't give me diet. My blood sugar spiked and I was sick for hours later. I'm a diabetic. FML
Today, I was taking a customer's order when she said she'd better go for a salad, because she was getting fat. She was actually very slim, so I told her she wasn't fat at all. She took one look at me and snorted, "Yeah, not compared to you, that's for sure." FML
Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, "Fat ass." I turned around and demanded to see the manager. Once he came and heard the situation, he looked at me and said, "Well, it's not like he's wrong, right?" FML
Today, while on a date, I accidentally ordered "diet water" instead of saying "diet coke". FML
Today, I was on cloud nine when the beautiful waitress I frequently ordered takeaways from told me she didn't need to take my name as she remembers me from before. When I got my food, I saw the sales slip. On it she had written, "Cheeseburger - Fries - Coke - Nerdy guy with bad haircut." FML
Today, I was at a work lunch, and the waiter brought me a soda I hadn’t ordered. I thought it was a free mistake, so I took a sip. It was actually my boss’s drink. As soon as I noticed, I tried to give it back, but he just stared at me and said, "It’s fine. I’ve already seen you drink it now." FML
Today, I was sitting in McDonald's. A lady came up to me and started complaining about the bad service, and asked for the manager. I told her that I didn't work there. "But you must, someone that fat has to work here!" FML
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Top comments
plasticsmile42 2
Wow, what an ass. dont let him/her get to you op!
MainPrism 16
I really hope you obeyed the cardinal rule of the food industry & waited til after you got your food before telling the waiter what you thought of them... If not, you ate something extra with your food... Pretty much gauranteed...
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Comments (265)
CharliesCool2084 8
Report him!
itsame0987 18
In a strange way your facial expression fits perfectly with the fml.
LLZNH 1
Listen to Jenna Marbles! She knows all
kroekdog 7
Big, fat, healthy, fluffy, DAMN.
Cyanhell 7
Finally someone recognizes that as a Gabriel Iglesias line. I'd assume she was wearing a fluffy guy article of clothing, and the waiter picked up on it and told the joke from his act.
HiddenMonkey 8
I was wondering the same thing. If some actually knew where that came from. Bravo both of you ^_^
slappygecko 21
Agreed. About time :p
lunastar 0
You forgot husky...
millionsmax 1
Big, healthy, husky, fluffy, DAMN! And OH HELL NAH
yackieegx 18
YAS! Gabriel Iglesias was the first thing that popped into my head, if they had a fluffy shirt on then Op should've realized the joke, if not then the waiter was being an asshole.
LYS92 6
I hope you didn't leave a tip
hurrican_fml 0
So rude! No tip for him!
iwadasn 33
I read your comment in the Soup Nazi's voice.
kellz9395 1
this sounds like you were at Dick's Last Resort to me.
Rowdey 10
That would be the best job ever.
hotshotsmith1 1
Sadly not many people know about the awesomeness of dick's last resort...this fat ass prolly sat down thinking it was some random resturant!
kellz9395 1
I would LOVE to work there!
DizzyDancer 3
I would have asked "let me guess, Mr. I'm not a judgemental prick-I just hate my own life wants to stand in the unemployment line?" then talked to the manager.
904mike 1
went to dicks bar and grill huh?
jaredofmo 22
So more like NO TIP FOR YOU!
brohamas16 7
Haha at least he's creative
Bebbo_fml 21
I like 7's suggestion.