Intimacy: Warrior

Warrior

By Anonymous - 21/09/2015 13:00 - United States - Grand Junction

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when halfway through, he leaned over to grab his cup of hot coffee off the nightstand. He then attempted to drink it and spilled most of it on me. He never stopped thrusting the whole time, and wanted to continue after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 610

You deserved it 3 310

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Same thing different taste

By Darcy - 26/10/2011 06:58 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 572

You deserved it 4 582

It's just a flesh wound!

By manhandled - 01/02/2012 18:05 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 169

You deserved it 4 027

Raise the pressure

By Anonymous - 14/05/2022 18:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. He got on top and started kissing my ear when a warm liquid went down my neck. My boyfriend had a gushing nosebleed, which went threw the pillowcase and the pillow. I got cockblocked by a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 173

Kinky

By LaLa - 09/01/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 786

You deserved it 7 879

By Anonymous - 30/05/2013 03:55 - United States - Redlands

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 772

You deserved it 9 825

By nah - 04/02/2009 14:35 - United States

Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolled off of me without finishing, and said, "I'm bored." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 984

You deserved it 7 579

By Anonymous - 11/11/2010 17:46 - United States

Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 246

You deserved it 4 260

By Foxy - 05/02/2009 14:06 - United States

Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 339

You deserved it 26 877

Mr Clean

By Anonymous - 18/01/2013 10:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 271

You deserved it 7 595

By Anonymous - 07/11/2010 22:00 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 962

You deserved it 6 539

The_Bengineer 13

Monday 21 September 2015 18:30

Sounds hot.

datkenna 20

Monday 21 September 2015 18:48

Who drinks coffee during sex

Comments

The_Bengineer 13

Monday 21 September 2015 18:30

Sounds hot.

BrutalEater 15

Monday 21 September 2015 19:42

Noice

DreamHysteria 13

Tuesday 22 September 2015 5:10

Literally lol

BoltTheSuperdog 22

Tuesday 22 September 2015 6:33

Quite steamy, in fact.

Eitanm 15

Monday 21 September 2015 18:31

Sounds like a hot mess

Steve95401 49

Monday 21 September 2015 18:32

Talk about having hot sex.

rainbowsRlove 15

Monday 21 September 2015 18:32

what a sizzling performance

TurtleShampoo 14

Monday 21 September 2015 18:34

all of these comments are puns

Madrias 36

Monday 21 September 2015 18:38

You just had to be the combo breaker, didn't you?

chuchusheep 19

Monday 21 September 2015 22:08

not really sure why you were downvoted so much...personally, i was getting tired of all the puns. and what you said was simply a fact. lol.

AmIReallyRenee 20

Tuesday 22 September 2015 1:09

no shit wow, you must feel like you discovered the sun

Kaoticwolf 17

Monday 21 September 2015 18:37

your screams of pain excited him

christopherwilli 14

Monday 21 September 2015 18:38

Such grace.

Onepocketpimp 7

Monday 21 September 2015 18:41

someone doesn't enjoy some beam... can mark off that you don't have that fetish

datkenna 20

Monday 21 September 2015 18:48

Who drinks coffee during sex

americanafrican 32

Monday 21 September 2015 18:50

that man. gives him the energy he needs!

groovycrazyjoe 18

Monday 21 September 2015 19:02

he needed energy lol

boating_guy 33

Monday 21 September 2015 19:17

Needed that caffeine so he could stay up and go at it for a few more hours

Careaga 8

Monday 21 September 2015 19:52

A true coffee lover

Paws_Cat 29

Monday 21 September 2015 21:16

Who drinks ANYTHING during sex?

MrSassypants 33

Monday 21 September 2015 21:46

#48 Well, if I learned anything from watching **** there might be something that people drink during sex.....

jaspinkgrl01 18

Monday 21 September 2015 22:16

The ops boyfriend obviously

alexanderavatar 24

Tuesday 22 September 2015 2:04

gotta stay awake

VeryMuchDutch 12

Tuesday 22 September 2015 2:16

maybe he was in his office?

DJDualScreen 4

Thursday 24 September 2015 22:49

who takes a coffee break mid-sex?

Darkness_Hate 29

Monday 21 September 2015 18:50

I guess he likes creamy coffee.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I spent an entire hour talking to someone at a party. I was feeling a real connection, only to find out halfway through the conversation that she wasn’t actually a guest, she was the caterer who just happened to be really nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 192

Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 83

The Top

Today, I had a Zoom job interview. My roommate grabbed me, duct-taped my mouth, and hogtied me. I watched helplessly as he took the call with my potential employer, insulted her, and said, “Fuck this job.” All because I “hit on his girlfriend” at a BBQ yesterday, by asking her if she wanted another hot dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 879

You deserved it 156

Today, my mother worked out that my boyfriend and I are having sex. Instead of confronting me about it, she now just sits and stares at me judgmentally whenever I'm in the same room as her, making me feel incredibly uncomfortable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 340

You deserved it 6 971

Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 607

You deserved it 59 596

Today, my new roommate puked into the sink and all over the bathroom floor, before passing out on her bed. Apparently, she was awake enough to wash her own face but not clean up her vomit. We share the bathroom. This is the second time already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 152

You deserved it 2 694

Today, my workplace was having a raffle and was giving away a Venus shaving kit. A co-worker won, but instead of keeping it, she walked over and handed the basket to me in front of everyone, said "You need it more" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 996

You deserved it 6 538

Today, a few friends and I ran through sprinklers at our school until we were all soaked. Then we were told that they put fertilizer in the water. I'm soaked in manure. Now I know why it tasted weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 796

You deserved it 41 864