Intimacy: Warrior

Warrior

By Anonymous - 21/09/2015 13:00 - United States - Grand Junction

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when halfway through, he leaned over to grab his cup of hot coffee off the nightstand. He then attempted to drink it and spilled most of it on me. He never stopped thrusting the whole time, and wanted to continue after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 578

You deserved it 3 304

Intimacy

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 12:00 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, I got up early to make a surprise breakfast in bed for my partner. As I was carrying the tray into the bedroom, I tripped and spilled the hot coffee all over them. We ended up in the emergency room so they could take a look at the burns I caused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 193

Romantic moves

By Anonymous - 11/03/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend with breakfast in bed. Instead, I spilled hot coffee all over her and the bed. We ended up spending the morning doing laundry instead of cuddling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 266

By Anonymous - 11/11/2010 17:46 - United States

Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 236

You deserved it 4 250

Heartless swine

By Anonymous - 15/09/2015 05:56 - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 985

You deserved it 4 365

By mumblingdope - 25/05/2016 08:52 - Indonesia - Jakarta

Today, I decided to have a hot cup of coffee. Then I stumbled on a chair and somehow spilled the hot liquid on my privates. The searing pain worked better to wake me up than the coffee itself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 943

You deserved it 1 190

Date grape

By Anonymous - 05/09/2019 08:02 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my boyfriend and I were drinking wine naked after sex. He went to get another glass, but on the way back tripped and fell flat on his face. His roommate unexpectedly came home, saw him face-down on the floor, thought I'd drugged him and tackled me before I could explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 066

You deserved it 236

By nah - 04/02/2009 14:35 - United States

Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolled off of me without finishing, and said, "I'm bored." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 944

You deserved it 7 561

By manhandled - 01/02/2012 18:05 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 110

You deserved it 4 011

By inalotofpain - 16/04/2011 12:46 - United States

Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 466

You deserved it 3 904

Confuddled

By Spiller - 17/11/2009 15:32 - United States

Today, I took the bus to work. I was exhausted and had a big mug of coffee. Half asleep and thinking I was in my car, I reached forward to put it in the "cup holder" during the ride. When I let go, I poured hot coffee not only all over myself, but also on the large, angry-looking man next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 351

You deserved it 29 078

The_Bengineer 13

Monday 21 September 2015 18:30

Sounds hot.

datkenna 20

Monday 21 September 2015 18:48

Who drinks coffee during sex

Comments

The_Bengineer 13

Monday 21 September 2015 18:30

Sounds hot.

BrutalEater 15

Monday 21 September 2015 19:42

Noice

DreamHysteria 13

Tuesday 22 September 2015 5:10

Literally lol

BoltTheSuperdog 22

Tuesday 22 September 2015 6:33

Quite steamy, in fact.

Eitanm 15

Monday 21 September 2015 18:31

Sounds like a hot mess

Steve95401 49

Monday 21 September 2015 18:32

Talk about having hot sex.

rainbowsRlove 15

Monday 21 September 2015 18:32

what a sizzling performance

TurtleShampoo 14

Monday 21 September 2015 18:34

all of these comments are puns

Madrias 36

Monday 21 September 2015 18:38

You just had to be the combo breaker, didn't you?

chuchusheep 19

Monday 21 September 2015 22:08

not really sure why you were downvoted so much...personally, i was getting tired of all the puns. and what you said was simply a fact. lol.

AmIReallyRenee 20

Tuesday 22 September 2015 1:09

no shit wow, you must feel like you discovered the sun

Kaoticwolf 17

Monday 21 September 2015 18:37

your screams of pain excited him

christopherwilli 14

Monday 21 September 2015 18:38

Such grace.

Onepocketpimp 7

Monday 21 September 2015 18:41

someone doesn't enjoy some beam... can mark off that you don't have that fetish

datkenna 20

Monday 21 September 2015 18:48

Who drinks coffee during sex

americanafrican 32

Monday 21 September 2015 18:50

that man. gives him the energy he needs!

groovycrazyjoe 18

Monday 21 September 2015 19:02

he needed energy lol

boating_guy 33

Monday 21 September 2015 19:17

Needed that caffeine so he could stay up and go at it for a few more hours

Careaga 8

Monday 21 September 2015 19:52

A true coffee lover

Paws_Cat 29

Monday 21 September 2015 21:16

Who drinks ANYTHING during sex?

MrSassypants 32

Monday 21 September 2015 21:46

#48 Well, if I learned anything from watching **** there might be something that people drink during sex.....

jaspinkgrl01 18

Monday 21 September 2015 22:16

The ops boyfriend obviously

alexanderavatar 24

Tuesday 22 September 2015 2:04

gotta stay awake

VeryMuchDutch 12

Tuesday 22 September 2015 2:16

maybe he was in his office?

DJDualScreen 4

Thursday 24 September 2015 22:49

who takes a coffee break mid-sex?

Darkness_Hate 29

Monday 21 September 2015 18:50

I guess he likes creamy coffee.

Keywords

Weird Creepypasta Love Nice Guys Religion LGBTQIA+ Work Awkward Food Health Painful Transportation Sex Intimacy Politics Coworkers Death Mental health Cars Technology Parents Social Media Gamers Video games Poopoo peepee Kids Animals Cats Bosses Snow

The Top

Today, my friend dragged me out of a movie because they swore a bit and there was drug use. Apparently, she's a Mormon now, and, "doesn't want her values compromised." This from the same girl who tried to get me to try crack a few weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 751

You deserved it 209

Today, I was pulling my trolley luggage at the airport when I passed two cute girls smiling at me. Thinking I looked real cool, I kept on walking without paying heed to anything else. Then my brother shouted, asking me what was I doing, only to realise that the handle had come off a few metres back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 482

You deserved it 42 663

The Top

Today, I took a selfie and I looked creepy in it, so I sent it to a friend thinking it would be funny. He just said, "Dude, that's what you look like. I don't get it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 250

Today, I’m gay but I'm currently on a date with a woman, because when we met yesterday, I was slightly tipsy and thought she was a dude when I asked her out. Plus she said her name is Max, but in the sober light of today, I realised she’s a very tomboyish lady with no boobs. Help me somebody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 1 700

Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 175

You deserved it 3 997

Today, for Valentine's Day, my boyfriend gave me the half-eaten chocolate bar that I left in his fridge two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 550

You deserved it 4 190

Today, I am lying next to my new husband. We went to Hawaii for our honeymoon and planned on spending the entire time in bed together. We succeeded in that goal, with both of us unable to leave each other's side for entire week. Sex? No. Food poisoning? Yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 484

You deserved it 3 293

Today, I asked my boyfriend to meet me in the park to talk. Just when I wanted to break up, he knelt down on one knee and proposed. I had to reject him in front of a whole crowd of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 699

You deserved it 955