Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I wanted to work out the volume of my penis and did so on the first piece of paper I could find on my desk. After I finished the calculations I realized that the other side of the paper was in fact my school report. It's the only copy I have. FML
Today, my son's school called to inform me that I had to come pick him up, as he was caught vandalising. What shenanigans had he gotten up to? Writing "Epstein didn't kill himself" on various desks and walls around the school. I'm not sure if I should applaud the sentiment, or be annoyed that he got caught. FML
Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML
Today, my son took some of my underwear to school. What's worse is he sold it to his classmate for $10. FML
Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken for my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school for a dollar each. FML
Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML
Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML
Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML
Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML
Today, I was copying an assignment from my friend and was feeling confident that I was gonna pass. I later found out I copied his name too, so the teacher failed us both. He won't talk to me now. FML
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Top comments
lawls79 14
He was thinkin with the small head...
Welshite 39
Innovation. He's going places.
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Comments (305)
texashater75 16
I was wondering when someone was going to reference Porky,s
texashater75 16
202 - I was wondering when someone was going to reference Porky's
krewer21 1
Yeah, sucks bad, but your kid is a potential winner in the future, however I pray I am dead before his prick is my GPS pointer. Yeah, 50/50 judgement. I hope you can channel him in the "right" direction!
BeforeItWasCool 12
I was wondering when this little debate would spring up again, it's been a while. All this comparison to celebrities is ridiculous. In reality, we're all just people. I respect every commenter who isn't entirely illiterate, regardless of their status. I think Noor makes some good comments, but then again I think it's a good thing someone with such high status on the site can get thumbed down. Shows us that it isn't all about the "Internet fame" I guess! Even so, I have a lot of time for regular commenters, it's nice to have a little community going on. There's my two cents, I'll be on my way!
freckleface221 19
You've got yourself a winner there.
dogpfcorn 11
That is actually a pretty creative, I mean he just wanted to give the teachers a hard time, just be glad he doesn't go to penn state
emuexport 4
haha, thats a brilliant effort, I wouldnt have been able to stop laughing and I'm a parent :):):) well done sir !!
PrimeStarscream 30
This is the funniest thing on FML ever.
Ugi 26
This must be one of the hardest jobs as a parent! How in the name of hell do you chew your kid out for that one without completely cracking up??! Congratulations! You have spawned a comedy evil genius!
cosmosis 12
Good! Piss off already!!