Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I wanted to work out the volume of my penis and did so on the first piece of paper I could find on my desk. After I finished the calculations I realized that the other side of the paper was in fact my school report. It's the only copy I have. FML
Today, my son's school called to inform me that I had to come pick him up, as he was caught vandalising. What shenanigans had he gotten up to? Writing "Epstein didn't kill himself" on various desks and walls around the school. I'm not sure if I should applaud the sentiment, or be annoyed that he got caught. FML
Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML
Today, my son took some of my underwear to school. What's worse is he sold it to his classmate for $10. FML
Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken for my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school for a dollar each. FML
Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML
Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML
Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML
Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML
Today, I was copying an assignment from my friend and was feeling confident that I was gonna pass. I later found out I copied his name too, so the teacher failed us both. He won't talk to me now. FML
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Top comments
lawls79 14
He was thinkin with the small head...
Welshite 39
Innovation. He's going places.
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Comments (305)
WritingWrongs 8
-56, why does everyone always have to take everything a step farther? First it was boot-licking, then ass-kissing, then "brown"-nosing... Are we all to start using the term "eating-out-their-ass now? Is that somehow funnier? Ugh... People...
Lunazel93 4
So amazingly funny!!!!!
usmc1316 0
your son is my hero
Phendraana 0
this is hilarious. you should reward his creativity & inventiveness.
HeyyAngel 2
Next prime minister
Clayton7777 9
That's actually kinda awesome
billyw02 5
You might want to talk to someone about that.
athlete1990 4
Legend.
slimjim8094 12
123 - "We can put up "Wanted" posters all over school... "Have you seen this prick?"" He did the first part for them...
jmaurm 6
190 I think your gym teacher just wanted to feel on little boy's balls because there is no need for that to happen.