Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I wanted to work out the volume of my penis and did so on the first piece of paper I could find on my desk. After I finished the calculations I realized that the other side of the paper was in fact my school report. It's the only copy I have. FML
Today, my son's school called to inform me that I had to come pick him up, as he was caught vandalising. What shenanigans had he gotten up to? Writing "Epstein didn't kill himself" on various desks and walls around the school. I'm not sure if I should applaud the sentiment, or be annoyed that he got caught. FML
Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML
Today, my son took some of my underwear to school. What's worse is he sold it to his classmate for $10. FML
Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken for my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school for a dollar each. FML
Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML
Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML
Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML
Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML
Today, I was copying an assignment from my friend and was feeling confident that I was gonna pass. I later found out I copied his name too, so the teacher failed us both. He won't talk to me now. FML
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Top comments
lawls79 14
He was thinkin with the small head...
Welshite 39
Innovation. He's going places.
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Comments (305)
svenskdod 2
That's one of the funniest things I've ever heard in my life. There's something wrong with your kid, but he's super funny!!!
slapsface 10
to funny
Billy_Badass 4
LOL this is one of the funniest things I've read on the internet for a long, long time.
Soembarrasing 4
How old is this kid? And very funny
Pixarecca 6
Your son is a gotdamn genius. AND awesome.
FMLkaiiden 8
Reminds me of myself in high school. Call him an asshole idiot or whatever, but he knows how to have a good time, and he's not afraid to do what it takes. Probs to yer Boy.
dmaster400 3
I wish I would have thought of that
ashtonavalon 4
Was it at least big?
AJE98 5
This made my day
RKD 23
HA HA HA THIS IS RIGHT UP THERE WITH THE SOCK FML IN TERMS OF SHEER FUNNINESS-NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE ONE TO MATCH THAT, BUT HERE IT IS!!!!!