Today, my sister still refuses to pay back all the money she... - FML

By anonymous - 2/4/2016 04:11 - United States - Westminster

Today, my sister still refuses to pay back all the money she owes me because she once bought me something from the dollar menu at McDonald's. FML

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Instadrama

Yappy neighborhood

Rich people problems

By kenz - 6/12/2010 08:18 - United States

Today, I returned from a week-long vacation. My landlord told me he had let my boyfriend in my apartment to get something. I don't have a boyfriend. Everything in my apartment is gone. FML

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By unknown - 15/9/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/9/2011 10:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I overheard my parents planning on how to get me to move out of the house. It's my house. They only came to visit and forgot to leave. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/10/2013 00:16 - United States - Irving

Today, I was at Petsmart with my puppy. Someone tried to pet him. I tried to warn the guy that he is a rescue and doesn't trust easily. He didn't listen and now wants to sue me for a dog bite that didn't even break the skin. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/2/2016 17:43 - Austria

Today, I made a delicious casserole for dinner. Just as I was about to serve it, a bowl fell from the cupboard above, exploded on the counter and made it rain tiny, sharp glass shards on my food. I can't pick them all out. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/3/2016 19:07 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I spent a lot of money buying a birthday gift for a close friend, only to find out I'm not even invited to the party. FML

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By PigPen - 27/9/2009 05:00 - United States

Today, I had lunch with friends I hadn't seen in years. We took a few group shots with my camera, and I went home and downloaded them to my computer. Seeing them on my monitor, I noticed a yellow spot on my black shirt, so I looked down. A big, dried booger was stuck there. FML

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By random person - 9/7/2013 17:51 - United States

Today, I finally got my laptop back after my friend broke it a few weeks ago. As I walked back into our place with my laptop in my bag, the same friend burst out and tackled me. My bag fell and slammed into the floor. Guess who has to pay for another repair. FML

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By amie - 11/8/2009 08:43 - Canada

Today, my mom said that we needed to have a family meeting because of all the issues that have been going on with our family. My mom, sister and I sat down and began to talk about everything. As I started to cry my sister looks at my mom and says "I win!". She bet my mom $20 that I would cry. FML

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By ihncredible - 10/12/2012 23:32 - United States - Macomb

Today, I stepped on the scale and realized that I weigh more than the amount of money that I have in my bank account. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/4/2020 17:00

Marriage (Dress) Story

Today, I found out that the company I sent my wedding dress to caught fire and lost everything in their building. I was going to be the fourth generation woman in my family to wear it. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/4/2013 14:22 - United States - Big Lake

Today, I asked my grandmother to hem my prom dress for me. I'm her oldest granddaughter so I thought she'd be happy to do it. She said no. Her occupation is a seamstress. FML

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By GhettoBeast - 8/9/2009 04:42 - New Zealand

Today, it was the first day of my job at a kindergarten. A boy fell over in the playground, so I ran over to see if he was OK. He got up and had a huge red mark on the side of his face. Shocked, I yelled "Oh my god, your face!" Turns out it's a very large port-wine birthmark and now he won't stop crying. FML

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By Needsanewjob - 10/1/2012 15:34 - United States

Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML

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By stpry of my life - 27/2/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my 5 year old niece, and she was really down in the dumps because she didn't get invited to a birthday party. To cheer her up, I took her to Chuck E Cheese. Right when we arrived, we walked in on a birthday party. It was the one that my niece got denied from. FML

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By - 12/1/2020 18:00

New revelation

Today, my Dad sat me down and told me that I was adopted. I was unbelievably shocked by this revelation and asked him why he'd never told me this before. His response was, "I didn't know!" FML

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By fistpumpin4life - 10/10/2010 00:51 - France

Today, at work I asked a woman how she was doing. When she replied, I didn't understand her, and instead of asking her what she said, I just replied with, "oh that's good." What she told me that I didn't understand was that her husband had just died. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 01:31 - United States

Today, there was an animal rummaging around in my trashcan, so I kicked the trashcan to see what it was. The fox then chased me for three blocks to find out what I was. FML

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By orgasmsareoverratedanyway - 25/9/2012 17:42 - Norway - Myre

Today, I realized just how clingy my boyfriend is, when he pulled out in the middle of sex, lay down and hugged me, and said in his "adorable" voice that he didn't really want to have sex, but cuddle. I wouldn't mind if it didn't happen so often. FML

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By freakedout - 8/8/2014 14:43 - United States

Today, I fell asleep in the doctor's waiting room. When I woke up, the room was empty, and there was a $1 bill tucked into my cleavage. FML

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By miss tomato - 8/6/2012 16:36 - United States

Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML

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By girlsgottagotoo - 26/6/2016 20:52 - United States - Covina

Today, I passed a cashier when I came into a store. Later I passed him again as I was leaving, and he asked me if I needed help finding something because I had been in the store for a while. I told him I had been browsing upstairs, but in reality, I had been in the restroom the whole time. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/5/2016 15:48

Today, a very attractive man asked me out on a date, and I said yes. He is tall, charming and a very good kisser. I'm sure the woman he heavily made out with after I left would agree. FML

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By Kelsey Dynes - 6/4/2020 17:00

Meat Market

Today, I had a doctor's appointment and my doctor had to examine my abdomen. I'm generally a pretty fit woman. After touching my abdomen, my doctor called me "the perfect specimen" and asked me if I was single because his son is also single. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 13:08 - United States

Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML

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By Michaelichael - 28/3/2009 20:17 - United States

Today, I was mowing the lawn of my brand new house, located in a very nice neighborhood (I am a hispanic male), and a lady in her nice white cadillac drove up and asked me, in extremely broken spanish, if I could mow her lawn too. FML

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By Ava - 27/4/2019 12:00

Today, a jobless person felt sympathy for me because I work retail. FML

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By Anon - 27/7/2009 07:32 - Singapore

Today, I found out that my brother was selling pictures of me showering. For what? World of Warcraft money. FML

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By theholt - 1/3/2010 05:23 - United States

Today, I saw a man on the bus with the strangest band shirt I have ever seen. I could not help but stare at it and try and figure what the band was, until he turned to me and said "why not take a picture asshole?" then got off the bus. As he walked away I saw that he was missing an arm. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/11/2013 22:21 - United Kingdom - Derry

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

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By HWS - 15/4/2011 05:47 - Canada

Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/10/2010 05:46 - United States

Today, I called my mom for her birthday. She started talking about an infomercial she'd seen for a combo bidet-and-dryer, and how she would like to get one so she can feel "fresh down there" without worrying about getting bits of toilet paper on her nether regions. I can't un-hear this. FML

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By The_Black_Jesus - 31/3/2013 13:32 - United States

Today, I went to visit some family out of state for my niece's birthday. I couldn't think of what to get an 8-year-old so I got her a Barbie doll. Everyone else got her money, iPods, game consoles, etc. When she got to mine she asked "how do I turn it on?" Then threw it away when she couldn't. FML

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By uneek14 - 23/6/2009 14:19 - Canada

Today, while reading some chemistry notes I came across the term "solid water". Completely stumped, I asked myself, "What the hell is solid water?" Then I heard my little cousin say "ice." I'm a 4th year science major in university. He still checks the closet for monsters. FML

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By mn051299 - 10/2/2016 09:09 - Switzerland - Richterswil

Today, I sat in my hotel room bathroom in dead silence for 30 minutes while I waited for the cleaning staff to stop watching TV and drinking beer from the minibar, so that I could finish using the toilet. FML

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By Annoymous - 3/9/2009 10:19 - Australia

Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML

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By lol smiley face - 28/11/2009 15:57 - United States

Today, I woke up feeling awesome. I turned to face the sunrise in the window, and as I stretched and let out a big yawn. Only for my boyfriend to say "Baby, turn back over. Your breath smells like turds." FML

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By friskeyk14 - 4/10/2011 07:04 - United States

Today, I showed my boyfriend a calendar, marked with the number of times we've had sex over the past month. Then followed by a calendar of the month before, which had almost triple the number of hits. I had to point out that our stats need to improve. FML

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By bloody hell - 4/6/2015 05:59 - Philippines - Para?aque

Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/8/2010 16:12 - United States

Today, my new $100 electronic cigarette came in the mail. I was so excited to try it out, I used it on the drive to work. The people who sold it to me weren't kidding when they said it looked and felt real. I threw it out the window when I was done. FML

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Top comments

By extrasnipes | 22

#6572850 - Saturday 2 April 2016 20:29

She's a mcdick.

By abbyade | 21

#6572866 - Saturday 2 April 2016 20:42

I cannot stand greedy siblings. So not a good trait to have. I hope you get your money back.

Buy her something worth a dollar. Now she will have no excuse not to pay you back!

Comments

By extrasnipes | 22

#6572850 - Saturday 2 April 2016 20:29

She's a mcdick.

Reply

Chloe555_fml | 27

#6572911 - Saturday 2 April 2016 21:59

That was mcgreat!

Reply

extrasnipes | 22

#6572931 - Saturday 2 April 2016 22:49

Mcfail...

Reply

UserError94 | 18

#6572956 - Sunday 3 April 2016 0:11

Did they bring the mcdick back?! Fantastic news!

Reply

Xenolythic | 14

#6573050 - Sunday 3 April 2016 2:56

I didn't know they took it off

Reply

Chloe555_fml | 27

#6573722 - Monday 4 April 2016 1:26

#20

Don't mcCare, I still think it's funny.

By Nieios | 5

#6572851 - Saturday 2 April 2016 20:32

hey man, McDonald's is the shit, gotta be worth something

Reply

joanikens | 16

#6572881 - Saturday 2 April 2016 21:03

Dollar menu=$1

Reply

NeonVines | 6

#6572948 - Saturday 2 April 2016 23:53

McDonald's aint worth shit if your owed more than a dollar

Reply

ThrottleJockey | 34

#6573094 - Sunday 3 April 2016 4:47

McDonald's gives me the shits. Does that count?

By DeadxManxWalking | 27

#6572854 - Saturday 2 April 2016 20:33

How much we talking? $2 or $100?

Reply

jerryj | 27

#6577857 - Sunday 10 April 2016 17:25

Probably less than $1. Considering the sister's reaction, it would make the most cents.

By T_Seg_101 | 18

#6572857 - Saturday 2 April 2016 20:36

Well, I guess you never getting that money back!! Siblings are the worst that way...

By UserError94 | 18

#6572858 - Saturday 2 April 2016 20:36

Fuck yea! I'm gonna go by Uncle Sam a mcdouble. Screw you taxes!

By kttnfsh | 11

#6572861 - Saturday 2 April 2016 20:38

She'll learn her lesson when you stop lending her money.

By abbyade | 21

#6572866 - Saturday 2 April 2016 20:42

I cannot stand greedy siblings. So not a good trait to have. I hope you get your money back.

Buy her something worth a dollar. Now she will have no excuse not to pay you back!

Reply

Mama4ddk | 15

#6572908 - Saturday 2 April 2016 21:52

Right! Every birthday every Christmas every holiday that involves exchanging gifts, give her exactly one gift certificate to the dollar menu. Eventually she'll get the hint.

By CrazyManNo9 | 29

#6572872 - Saturday 2 April 2016 20:51

Give her a dollar and tell her to pay you back.

Reply

citrusglass | 22

#6572943 - Saturday 2 April 2016 23:32

How creative.

By ulissey_fml | 22

#6572873 - Saturday 2 April 2016 20:51

I see why you have a chip on your shoulder.

By meatmaeta | 21

#6572874 - Saturday 2 April 2016 20:52

Never mix business with personal...