Money: Today, I discovered that the five-star meal that my friend treated...

By Full Stomach Empty Wallet - 06/08/2015 10:50 - United States - Danvers

Today, I discovered that the five-star meal that my friend treated me to last night was actually meant to be repayment of the $200 I loaned her last month. I needed that money for bills and she refuses to give me another cent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 919

You deserved it 2 594

Money

Good kid

Tock follow tick follows tock…

Revelations

By Catholicguy - 20/12/2009 08:14 - United States

Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 156

You deserved it 4 519

By BangBangBzzz - 15/12/2015 22:01

Today, I went for a much needed relaxing massage. As I lay down, the renovation works in the next building started up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 389

You deserved it 1 408

Overcome

By Anonymous - 20/02/2021 16:59

Today, I just finished a client meeting. I couldn’t stop stuttering and couldn’t answer their questions. Towards the end, they just ignored me. I’ve been in the job for a year. I’m pretty much in tears now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 191

By anyoi - 25/04/2012 22:43 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 236

You deserved it 3 418

Fuck fox hunts

By Anonymous - 25/09/2021 17:01

Today, my husband was arrested because a fox, fleeing from about a billion dogs and rich twats on horses, jumped through our car window and was cowering between my legs. So he got out of the car, waded through the dogs and pulled one of the twats off his horse into a puddle, ruining his red coat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 564

You deserved it 233

By 2yearsofHotSexThenThis - 25/08/2009 08:47 - New Zealand

Today, after not having sex for nearly a year and a half, an opportunity arose. I couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 244

You deserved it 11 013

By ozozl - 07/11/2014 04:29 - United States - Evergreen

Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 900

You deserved it 3 837

By NoUsernamHere - 03/06/2015 13:25 - United States

Today, I was working on a project in my schools library when a group of teenagers came in and began loudly talking and laughing. When I asked them to please quiet down, the librarian asked me to leave for being too loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 794

You deserved it 2 442

By Monty Python's Flying Circus - 19/05/2017 04:00

Today, it's been three weeks since my son found my old red dress and hat outfit in the attic, and like every day since then, he has been putting it on and bursting into rooms without warning and shouting, "NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!" He's almost 18 and going to college in September. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 009

You deserved it 939

By Anonymous - 12/09/2010 02:31 - United States

Today, I noticed I give myself pep-talks when I'm lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 941

You deserved it 6 005

By Anonymous - 10/06/2019 05:19 - United Kingdom - Oldbury

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I was too tired for sex, which she interpreted as me confessing to not wanting to have sex with her because I’m having sex with other women. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 263

You deserved it 262

By Jocelyn - 25/11/2012 07:12 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was walking home, when I realized I didn't have my phone on me. After retracing my steps, I realized that I'd been listening to music from my phone the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 619

You deserved it 30 650

Heaven knows I'm miserable now…

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 02:04

Today, my friend is acting like a martyr over not wanting to get a job and guilt tripping me for having one. I mean, I hate my job but I also like my ability to pay bills, unlike some apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 58

By MsCobb - 16/02/2013 15:27 - United States - Columbus

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 301

You deserved it 6 137

By calamity janet - 14/11/2018 22:00

Today, my husband took me to an airsoft shop so he could try a new pistol. We went on the range to shoot it, but while he was loading it went off and shot me. I was only wearing my leggings, so I felt the full power of that BB as it traveled at 200 feet per second at my clitoris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 872

You deserved it 460

By Amanda - 13/12/2010 16:29 - United States

Today, I was in the car with my mom. We were discussing my brother, how he's been screwing up majorly lately and she blamed it on his friends. Then she turned to me and said, "It's a good thing you've never had any friends." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 495

You deserved it 3 890

By anthony - 25/11/2015 12:32 - Luxembourg

Today, a cute girl I know in passing approached me very nervously and blushing like mad. She gave me a note with a number on it, said to call her, then ran away. When I called the number later, it was one of those rejection hotlines. What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 092

You deserved it 1 864

By fredfredburger - 25/06/2014 17:45 - United States - Imperial

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 353

You deserved it 13 785

By thatsureshowedme - 08/11/2014 20:33 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I tried being rebellious for the first time in my life by sneaking out past my curfew. I decided to use my bedroom window to stealthily leave the house. I ended up twisting my ankle when I tried to make my "grand" escape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 055

You deserved it 30 369

By BlackRavenWings - 21/11/2010 22:36 - United States

Today, I noticed a picture in an elderly patients room, of a pretty girl in a bikini. Trying to be funny and lighten the mood, I said, "Looks like you have some good eye candy to help you recover faster." With a stern look he replied, "That's my granddaughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 896

You deserved it 35 589

By Bob - 14/04/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, I was working at a local restaurant when another server's table called me over to ask if I've "ever killed anybody". They informed me I looked like a serial killer. I informed them, of course, that I have never killed anybody. Another customer claimed I scared her child. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 895

You deserved it 4 653

By hatemyjob - 23/04/2013 18:25 - United Kingdom - Colchester

Today, I answered a call at work from a very irate gentleman. After being shouted and sworn at profusely, I ended the call in a slightly less than civil manner. Turns out that guy is one of our company's biggest clients. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 046

You deserved it 43 622

By pancaketits - 22/03/2016 15:33 - United States - Havertown

Today, a classmate accused me of having butt implants because "women can't have a huge ass and pancake tits". FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 269

You deserved it 1 645

By Anonymous - 14/11/2013 07:18 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, I was accused of stealing when I dropped a $20 bill in front of my boss. His logic: I'm too poor to have a $20 bill and there's no way it was a tip, since our customers are "so stingy". It was a tip and it was going to get me through the rest of the month. He won't give it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 481

You deserved it 3 046

By FATS DOMINO - 20/10/2011 15:39 - United States

Today, my sister finally broke down and told me that our dad gambled away of all my college savings, and I would have to pay for school the best way I can. They have known for months, and when I asked why nobody told me, the reply was, "You're a college boy, we thought you would figure it out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 518

You deserved it 2 432

By lumi - 24/06/2009 01:28 - United States

Today, I received in the mail a hockey puck autographed by recent hall of fame addition Steve Yzerman. When asked, I had to explain to my 4 year old brother that someone famous had written his name on it. Later, I discovered that my brother decided it needed his name on it too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 118

You deserved it 5 489

Smash face

By Tori - 29/10/2021 11:01

Today, I remembered to show some customers at work photos of my cat that I had taken recently, and they love my "flat face" cat. All good, until I scrolled to a whole body nude I had taken to send to my boyfriend. I showed it to an entire family during my breakfast rush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 1 554

By fuckingads - 13/02/2017 19:00 - United States - Brookfield

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex to music, which we hadn't done before. I was getting close when it cut to commercial. I was so turned off by the idea of coming during an ad break that I didn't come at all. Thanks Spotify. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 578

You deserved it 2 057

By perpetuallyscrewed - 06/10/2009 04:06

Today, after nearly eight months of unemployment, I started a great new job. After seven and a half hours of work, my new boss comes up to tell me what a great job I was doing, but that he somehow forgot to clear the new hire with the company owner, so I'm fired. Hello, unemployment... again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 804

You deserved it 2 169

By morningeyes - 19/05/2009 14:19 - United States

Today, I was trying to remove a temporary tattoo my friend put on my cheek. When warm water and soap didn't work, I tried something else. Just so you know, Mr. Clean Magic Erasers do not, in fact, work by magic. Tell that to the massive chemical burn covering half my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 080

You deserved it 94 930

By Anonymous - 14/10/2009 21:27 - United States

Today, I went to a party where I met some nice girls. One of them was really sweet and we were having a great time in my friend's backyard. As I was on the swing, I was gonna give her my number, but instead, I gave her a harsh kick to the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 558

You deserved it 27 109

By Problem - 07/11/2010 20:34 - United States

Today, my manager informed me that I will not be completing my job training because I'll be transferring to a different store, and if they want me to work there, that's their problem. Today, I also found out that the new store will not accept me as a transfer unless I've already been trained. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 298

You deserved it 2 422

By dad, please - 16/05/2016 05:37 - United States - Wellesley Hills

Today, I had a mini heart attack as my dad stopped in the middle of the street and said, "I wonder what'd happen if I just dropped my pants right now and started jerking it in front of all these motherfuckers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 859

You deserved it 1 548

By fuckall - 19/01/2011 11:05 - United States

Today, I worked out that if I paid the minimum monthly amount on my student loans, I'd be paying them until I'm 65. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 674

You deserved it 5 759

By Anonymous - 18/02/2011 21:36 - United States

Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 909

You deserved it 3 555

Good morals, you say?

By ELinDawk - 31/08/2021 01:01

Today, I think I found the person I feel is my soulmate while I was in Montana this past weekend. My friend’s wife’s best friend. She was perfect, same sense of humor, same sarcasm, good morals, and absolutely gorgeous. I was struck. And then I received a text message from my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 2 293

By Face - 09/01/2010 10:12 - Australia

Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 304

You deserved it 34 700

What a Q-tip

By Anonymous - 25/06/2013 16:21 - United States - Flowery Branch

Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 454

You deserved it 6 461

By Anonymous - 18/06/2013 10:44 - United States

Today, I went to the gynecologist. In the waiting room they had decorative words that spelled out "Relax" and "Enjoy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 997

You deserved it 4 064

Captain Dumbass

By Anonymous - 26/05/2020 05:00

Today, after my husband spent several days in his shed welding, he showed me his completed Captain America shield. It looked shit. I warned him not to throw it, but he threw it anyway, missed his target, bounced it off the garage and smashed the kitchen window, showering our kids in glass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 858

You deserved it 548

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Top comments

RenamonFucksLuna 21

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Thursday 6 August 2015 19:23

She's a bitch. Dump her "friendship"

RedPillSucks 31

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Thursday 6 August 2015 20:32

worse than that, even if it did cost $200, she would have only eaten $100th worth, so where is the rest of the money

RenamonFucksLuna 21

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Thursday 6 August 2015 19:23

She's a bitch. Dump her "friendship"

Gib31 19

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Saturday 8 August 2015 12:39

This reminds me of my stupid ex, who owed me 20 euros, gave me some flowers and said he didn't owe me anything afterwards. *insert insult here*

Trepeston 13

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Thursday 6 August 2015 19:24

Time for a new friend

llamingo 8

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Thursday 6 August 2015 19:24

What kind of 2 person meal costs $200?

RenamonFucksLuna 21

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Thursday 6 August 2015 19:25

A five star restaurant can charge almost what ever they would like

RedPillSucks 31

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Thursday 6 August 2015 20:32

worse than that, even if it did cost $200, she would have only eaten $100th worth, so where is the rest of the money

seaboundrhino813 8

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Friday 7 August 2015 3:11

You have never been anywhere "fancier" than The Olive Garden, have you?

WCARlover 34

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Thursday 6 August 2015 19:26

how do people think stuff like this is okay? sorry OP time to let her go as a friend

bibble27 9

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Thursday 6 August 2015 19:27

That's awful. People can be so selfish about giving sometimes... She should've been understanding. Was the dinner at least worth $200. Sorry OP. ?

olpally 32

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Thursday 6 August 2015 19:27

Your friend is ridiculous and you need new friends.

_kyleG_ 34

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Thursday 6 August 2015 19:28

•Neither a borrower nor a lender be •Never loan money to a friend, consider it a gift and move on if you wish to have a friendship afterwards •Loans needs to be validated by a written, notarized contract •Punch your friend in the face so that you at least feel better

sweetbliss3 37

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Thursday 6 August 2015 19:28

pawn her stuff until you get the 200$ that's crazy. and I hope lesson learned: never loan her anything else.

Soninuva 41

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Thursday 6 August 2015 19:54

Serving jail time for theft is not worth $200.

YourOpinionSucks 22

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Thursday 6 August 2015 21:38

Who said the friend had to know that OP was the thief. Silent justice, while you're at it, you should tack on another 200 and take her out when she's upset. Pay her meal with what's essentially her money.

sweetbliss3 37

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Friday 7 August 2015 0:55

I wouldn't call it stealing. it's just borrowing. when she gets her money, she gets her stuff back.

YourOpinionSucks 22

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Friday 7 August 2015 4:42

That's called pawning, but works just as fine. People thumbing us down for suggesting illegal activities over just dropping the friendship, why not get paid, and then drop the friendship? Like I'm going to let a douchebag walk away with my money because of what the law deems moral? Fuck off

MonstreBelle 28

Friday 7 August 2015 7:10

72: Because the cost of bail, court fees, fines, and restitution would easily exceed $200. Then there is that pesky problem of possible jail time and having a record. You can't just go steal someone's possessions because they're a shitty person whom you're owed money by. It would make you just as much of a shitty person as they are and you wouldn't even be getting any of your money back; you would be losing more of it.

YourOpinionSucks 22

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Saturday 8 August 2015 11:39

If you get caught, you deserve it. Stealing 101

Brandon1000 10

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Thursday 6 August 2015 19:28

I hope you mean ex-friend.

OysterPearls 33

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Thursday 6 August 2015 19:30

This is exactly why they say to never mix friends with money, because then things like this happen. But it isn't OP's fault for not expecting their friend to be so unreliable.