Money: Today, I left to go home for Christmas holidays. I got 3 hours...

By Anonymous - 21/12/2011 23:36 - Canada

Today, I left to go home for Christmas holidays. I got 3 hours away and realised I forgot the presents. Along with the engagement ring I was going to give to my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 517

You deserved it 13 890

Money

Vulture

The Walking Dead

All over

By freakingout - 04/09/2012 21:55 - United States - Roslyn

Today, it was my first day back at school. My social anxiety is so bad that I couldn't even raise my hand to use the bathroom because I didn't want people to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 937

You deserved it 4 602

By Anonymous - 07/06/2019 06:15

Today, my girlfriend of 6 years broke up with me. Why? I was late for our date. We arrived at the restaurant together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 870

You deserved it 150

By Queen_of_Night - 27/10/2009 21:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was reaching over to give me a hug for no reason. I said "Aww, You're sweet! I love you too!" He looked confused and said, "That's great, but I was reaching for the remote." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 302

You deserved it 6 551

By whaaaaat111 - 09/03/2013 12:04 - United States - Vienna

Today, while at the mall, a lady dropped her credit card while in line to buy something. I came over, picked it up and gave it to her just for her to shove it in my hand and scream, "She's stealing my wallet! My wallet!" The police came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 610

You deserved it 2 744

By DuChaillu - 27/01/2010 07:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to perform a strip tease for me. As he was stripping out of his clothes, he took his shirt and then pants off first. He was wearing zebra striped knee high socks and underwear. I burst out laughing. He left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 105

You deserved it 27 714

Denied!

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 17:07 - United States

Today, I swam in a race against all of the girls in the midwest in the hardest, longest, most grueling race you can swim. I won. Happy but so tired I could barely move, I looked up to see my time. I had been disqualified. For flinching. Before the race started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 751

You deserved it 6 646

By a critically injured shitehawk - 25/04/2015 10:34 - United Kingdom - York

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 089

You deserved it 3 003

Never? NEVER?!

By Anonymous - 01/05/2020 08:00

Today, I had a fight with my grandma again with whom I've been living for 4 years due to college hostel being below par. She blamed me for destroying her kitchen equipment by extensively cooking, especially at night. I've never placed a foot inside her kitchen since the beginning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 140

By tommy - 06/06/2009 12:41 - United States

Today, I called my friend in Australia to have a nice long chat, what I did not know was that my dad had removed my international calling plan, I talked to my friend for 5 hours, and ran up a huge phone bill, which I have to take out of the money I saved up to go see her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 069

You deserved it 8 314

By anne - 30/07/2010 23:23 - Canada

Today, my 20 year-old son decided it would be funny to unbuckle my seat belt while the cops were right beside us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 366

You deserved it 4 105

Very fishy

By Bryce - 10/05/2020 02:00

Today, my dad and I went fishing. We both got a bite, but when we went to reel it in, both our hooks were in the catfish's mouth. He pushed me in the mud and took my hook out its mouth so he could say he caught it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 566

You deserved it 212

By kittykat033 - 08/03/2014 17:19 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I started at my new job. My manager, upon meeting me, hugged me and sniffed my neck, then commented that I smelled "natural" and told me how much he loves that. I have to work with this creep until god knows when. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 823

You deserved it 3 887

By maxedoutidiot - 13/12/2012 02:14 - United States

Today, my drunk girlfriend maxed out my credit card, on an "authentic" Jesus Christ autograph on eBay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 808

You deserved it 5 382

By jons - 17/02/2009 21:54 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 391

You deserved it 3 580

By Beard - 08/11/2016 11:14

Today, I shaved my beard that I wanted to grow for winter, into a goatee for a Skype interview. On the day, the interviewer only used audio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 250

You deserved it 1 774

By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 15:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 575

You deserved it 54 074

By lawman - 15/08/2013 13:34 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, my dad, under threats of disowning me, insisted that I offer my sister a job in my company. I run my own law firm, she is a hairdresser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 681

You deserved it 3 528

By Marie - 08/06/2009 18:51 - United States

Today, I had a meeting at work with my board of directors for a potential promotion. When one of them told a joke, I politely let out an amused snort. Then, I noticed my director's white shirt and tie covered in red splatter. I nose bled all over the director of my company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 351

You deserved it 4 771

By Anonymous - 22/07/2009 16:43 - United States

Today, I went to the airport for my two week trip to explore Europe. My ticket was denied and the workers turned me away. When I asked why, they told me to check the date. My ticket was for June 22nd, not July. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 599

You deserved it 62 004

By Anonymous - 02/01/2010 22:27 - United States

Today, my mom informed me that my entire family puts their dirty towels on the towel rack in the bathroom instead of the hamper. I've been using their dirty towels after showers for as long as I remember. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 068

You deserved it 6 461

Touchy

By Anonymous - 04/03/2021 20:01

Today, I found out that my paper about World War 2 has led my teacher to believe that I hate Jews. I wrote my paper about the technological advances made during the war, and made no mention of Jews. She and I are both Jewish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 70

By kazmatazz - 17/05/2012 10:33 - Oman

Today, I found out that the extremely attractive man that works in my building can hear everything I say about him through the paper-thin walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 454

You deserved it 9 043

By Anonymous - 25/08/2012 00:20 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, a thirty-something guy swaggered into my workplace. He was wearing shutter shades and torn jeans, and claimed to be our new boss. I called security to throw him out, at which point he produced his ID and let me know I'd be attending an employee review session next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 825

You deserved it 8 126

By Sam - 02/12/2012 14:05 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, my mom and I took my senile grandmother to the mall, since she doesn't get out much. She complained it was hot, then took her clothing off in the middle of the food court. It took us thirty minutes to make her put her shirt back on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 388

You deserved it 2 249

By Anonymous - 10/08/2014 18:12 - United Kingdom - Ilminster

Today, I babysat a 6-year-old boy for the first time. When I said it was his bedtime, he just screamed "Eat a dick!" at me. I was so shocked, all I could do was leave him be. When his parents returned, I had to make up an excuse for why he was still awake and watching TV, to save my pride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 229

You deserved it 9 982

By cantcloselegs - 20/10/2013 12:39 - United States

Today, I was using my new curling iron to curl my hair. I was sitting down. Suddenly I dropped the iron and, as a reflex, I caught it between my bare thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 778

You deserved it 6 132

High school drama

By Anonymous - 30/08/2021 03:31 - India - Delhi

Today, the guy I have been going out with for six months cheated on me with the only girl I hate the most in the world. That girl ruined my previous relationship too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 084

You deserved it 66

By Quicky5_ - 03/11/2015 06:58 - United States - Jasper

Today, at work, my coworker's belongings went missing. Infuriated, she accused me of stealing, because I'm black and "stereotypes don't just make themselves." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 117

You deserved it 2 476

By xxxkkxxx - 29/07/2011 15:37 - Hong Kong

Today, my parents took me on a plane ride for a vacation in Hong Kong. What they didn't tell me was that the "vacation" is extended for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 731

You deserved it 3 320

By imalosertho - 11/06/2014 01:01 - Canada - Truro

Today, I was really hungry at work, and my stomach growled loudly. One of my co-workers heard it and thought it was a cat. Ashamed, I played dumb and we ended up spending twenty minutes looking for a cat that I knew didn't exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 908

You deserved it 19 371

By Anonymous - 07/09/2010 17:51 - Canada

Today, I was shopping in a store and an employee was mopping the floor. She mopped all around where I was standing then told me to wait until the floor dried to move. I had to go to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 519

You deserved it 6 388

By clueless - 19/05/2014 17:15 - United States - Irvine

Today, I realized that when a girl asks what your plans are for Valentine's Day and you say "nothing" and she responds with, "Oh, I don't have any plans either", it means she wants you to take her out. Took me three months to figure that out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 585

You deserved it 58 965

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 17:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I had my boyfriend come over for dinner for the first time. It was all going well until my dad started explaining to my boyfriend how to use toilet paper. He even demonstrated it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 872

You deserved it 3 233

IT'S ALL TOO MUCH!

By scott - 10/06/2020 20:08

Today, my daughter had an anxiety attack. Why? Because I told her she needs to be making her bed every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 266

You deserved it 340

By Anonymous - 14/10/2015 13:21 - United States - Smithville

Today, I went to my cousin's house. I left my bag on the couch as my aunt instructed, only for my cousin to take it and throw it into the swimming pool. My laptop, textbooks and notes were soaked. My exam is in a week, and my aunt won't punish her perfect little angel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 246

You deserved it 1 791

Nasty

By Anonymous - 26/10/2021 14:00

Today, I had an interview to be a waitress. Afterwards, I had food in the restaurant, which is where I overheard my interviewer tell the manager he wasn’t going to bother hiring “that girl I just interviewed” because "her face is nasty and she’ll put the customers off their food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 319

You deserved it 83

By Fenny - 27/02/2009 08:57 - United States

Today, I was in my room and I drew a Harry Potter lightning bolt on my forehead in eyeliner because it cheers me up. Then some friends came over, so we went out to get yogurt, and when I got back I realized the lightning bolt was still there. I'm in college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 371

You deserved it 74 446

Lockdown boredom

By Anonymous - 20/12/2020 02:08 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, thanks to 10 months of lockdown, the most intimate thing I have done on a Saturday night during this time is use a hobby knife to cut 1/4" thick calluses off my feet. I don't even walk anywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 653

You deserved it 144

By Mr.Viola - 20/06/2010 06:42 - United States

Today, my future father-in-law, a respectable New England gentleman, bought me an $8,000 viola and bow for our engagement. I was so surprised that I spit a glass of wine from a 60 year old bottle all over his custom-tailored suit. He was not happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 877

You deserved it 13 774

By anonymous - 15/08/2016 03:35 - United States - Bloomington

Today, I received a birthday card from my dad, over a week late. It was addressed to me using my maiden name, the enclosed check also made out to me using my maiden name. I've been married for over 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 147

You deserved it 1 544

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Top comments

RockstarRN 10

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Thursday 22 December 2011 9:06

You've got 3 more days, what's another 6 hours? I'm sure your girlfriend will appreciate the extra effort to make her Christmas a little more special.

FYLDeep 25

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Thursday 22 December 2011 9:19

The presents and the ring, huh? Seems like those would have been on the checklist. Reminds me of the time I built a car and forgot the engine.

RockstarRN 10

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Thursday 22 December 2011 9:06

You've got 3 more days, what's another 6 hours? I'm sure your girlfriend will appreciate the extra effort to make her Christmas a little more special.

HahaHokayThen 10

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Thursday 22 December 2011 9:08

#1, true. It'd be truly an FML if he posted this ON Christmas.

hellbilly205 17

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Thursday 22 December 2011 9:23

Wow a good first comment on an FML i've saw in a long time i have to give you credit.

THE_A_TEEN 27

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Thursday 22 December 2011 10:34

If you're from 2154, then you are obviously a time traveler since you're in 2011. Go back a few months earlier and you'll see the legends known as DocBastard, KaySL, and others I can't name. GO NOW!!!!!!

MaaaanWTF 1

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Thursday 22 December 2011 11:19

I must agree with 12. This is an amazing first comment. I really hope this FML was submitted because he had to drive an extra 6 hours for his forgetfulness. Not because he decided to go on without the gifts and engagement ring!

Marcella1016 31

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Thursday 22 December 2011 17:11

I would hope he would've turned around. I sure would've. An extra 6 hours of driving on top of whatever the rest of the distance is really does suck though. FYL, OP. But it'll be worth it when she says yes :)

A_Little_Girl77 12

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Thursday 22 December 2011 17:44

Go back and get the ring and presents!! You'd be a hero for your gf (:

Jovecove 13

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Thursday 22 December 2011 22:07

Family First. Drive back to get the gifts! It would be worth it, trust me.

Gringe 1

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Friday 23 December 2011 13:28

It says 3 hours away from home (his destination) suggesting the trip was much longer and 3 hours could be considered the last leg of the journey. Im sorry i tarnished ur hopes of a good first comment...

grudger 14

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Saturday 24 December 2011 5:58

I agree completely

TorturedXeno 27

Thursday 22 December 2011 9:06

It's a sign from a proverbial God.

chili_is_good 0

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Thursday 22 December 2011 12:09

If it's a sign from God, just tebow and ask for his forgivness

bkina 0

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Friday 23 December 2011 5:18

Lmao kinda joke but seriously don't do that

BunnySlippers 6

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Thursday 22 December 2011 9:08

How do you realize you forget something 3 hours in? I mean didn't you take a rest stop for gas or something and realize it? Well I'm sorry anyway OP. FYL and YDI.

BunnySlippers 6

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Thursday 22 December 2011 9:10

If you were taking a car ride home, that is.

MrsPegg 45

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Thursday 22 December 2011 10:20

So Slippers, you're saying that you've not ONCE left home and only after you're far away or at the place you're going to, realize you've left something? Even me, being the fact that I'm human and make mistakes, have left something of importance behind by being in a rush to get somewhere.

Alicelover123 2

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Thursday 22 December 2011 23:15

Bitch. Maybe they had a lot on their mind

GSP101 0

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Thursday 22 December 2011 9:10

Their is always the next day.

thantomaniac 0

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Thursday 22 December 2011 9:20

-_-

rulezdunmatter 12

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Thursday 22 December 2011 9:32

Not necessarily, OP said he left home for the Christmas holidays, he might be overseas or have another reason which does not allow him to return home that easily. P.S there*

littlenumber8 8

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Monday 26 December 2011 1:40

I'm surprised that only one member of the grammar police has pulled u up on that violation...

desireev 17

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Thursday 22 December 2011 9:11

I'm sorry that you forgot the presents OP. Going back to get them will make Christmas that much more special. :)

Reyo 2

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Thursday 22 December 2011 9:11

It's OK OP, I forgot my phone charger, which is kind of the same thing.

dan13mey 0

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Thursday 22 December 2011 10:22

Everyone who understands blatant sarcasm cheer "Yay me!". ^You will remain silent.

ceilingfans 1

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Thursday 22 December 2011 10:24

Considering I married a phone (it was an iPhone 3GS, and we got engaged right before the 4g came out grrrr) it is kinda the same. Except in my situation my wife dies and I get remarried to Siri.

kglo 7

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Thursday 22 December 2011 17:15

How on earth is that remotely the same thing?? Go buy another charger. They aren't that much.

lalaland05 0

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Saturday 24 December 2011 4:29

I agree with #11 who cares about a phone charger u can always buy one at a store!!! You can't buy a WEDDING RING again!!!!

FYLDeep 25

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Thursday 22 December 2011 9:19

The presents and the ring, huh? Seems like those would have been on the checklist. Reminds me of the time I built a car and forgot the engine.

FYLDeep 25

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Thursday 22 December 2011 11:08

Don't be a looser.

jesernoob 13

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Thursday 22 December 2011 22:58

hahahahahahaha

queenb1621 21

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Tuesday 3 January 2012 5:05

That made me lol so hard, my roomie is looking at me weird now lol

elbia21 5

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Thursday 22 December 2011 9:27

Get her a ring pop for the time being. Its a huge diamond plus you can get it in her favorite color. . . wait thats what I want Sorry op, but if u truly love her, go back and get it, you've got 3 days

blackstar994 5

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Thursday 22 December 2011 10:04

But then she eats it and the diamond is gone... Dx

elbia21 5

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Thursday 22 December 2011 22:02

Well good, who doesn't want to eat a sweet, candy diamond? By the time she eats it, she'll have her real engagement ring :) it's all good

PeachyJinx 7

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Thursday 22 December 2011 9:30

FYL & I hope your car isn't a gas guzzling whore lol

raydaly 5

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Thursday 22 December 2011 11:44

watt like u ??

Redash 2

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Thursday 22 December 2011 18:02

Of course it's a gas guzzler. Its Alberta.

idontknowyou123 0

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Thursday 22 December 2011 9:36

I know that feel bro... Went up to Auckland last week (3 hour drive) to visit my (now ex) girlfriend... Arrived late cause forgot engagement ring, caught her fucking my cousin... tl;dr Hurry your ass up before your cousin fucks your girl!