sheridan.ashley
Australia
Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Barrie, Canada
Today, my 9 year old shitblossom of a sister decided to wake me up by hocking a loogie into my mouth. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my mom decided to wake me up by pouring ice cold water on my face. Again. FML
NoseInPain
United States
Today, my little sister thought it'd be cool to pierce my nose while I was asleep. FML
baldspot
Australia
Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML
leah
Whooped
Today, I was standing in the shower drying off when my sister came in the bathroom. She must have thought I was a burglar because she hit the shower curtain and punched me in the face. FML
Fml24609
United States
Today, I ended up sleeping on the dirty floor because my sister didn't want to share a king size bed with me. She got up to get a drink and stepped on my face. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML
anon
United States
Eau de toilette
Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML
jessefonsexy.
United States
Today, I was trying to go to sleep when I heard my sister come home from the bar. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later to see my sister squatting in my dresser drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm peeing." FML
Top comments
super3286 14
minty morning
dramaababyy 0
lol well good morning to you. make sure you get revenge. and then she can post it on fml. hahaa.
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Comments (162)
FrecklesXO 8
Flush her head in a toilet.
troubleinharlem 0
haha, swirly time.
ScaryyMary 14
NO! It's Hammer Time!
TheRaineMan 0
You should be thankful to her, now you wont have to brush your teeth. :P
bandgeek_bri 0
ur a heavy sleeper!
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Sorry. You're probably used to cum in your mouth to wake you up, aren't you? :P
perdix 31
And you are familiar with this phenomenon, I suppose?
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Sure. Just like every other teenager who wastes her life on the internet. (I'm a loser, so no :P)
perdix 31
What a relief! That means you swallow it all while you are awake and brush your teeth before you go to sleep. That's much better.
MermaidSongXOXO 6
.....Right. That's what I do. But, tell me, are you familiar with this phenomenon?
perdix 31
Yes. From the donor's perspective ;) ;) heh-heh-heh
Petey_devil 0
wow, perdix,comment 124, WIN!
imlagginglol 0
You know you liked it
PaintTheStars 2
wouldn't that get her sick?
perdix 31
You shouldn't have said the F-word when you dropped those lug nuts in the snow! (My second "A Christmas Story" reference today! w00t!) At least you didn't wake up with morning breath.
dramaababyy 0
that movie is freakin amazinggg. I haven't watched it in foreverr
sourgirl101 29
I always wanted to stick my tongue to a frozen flag pole to see if it would indeed get stuck (like in that movie). But I live in South Florida and never seen snow. I heard snow is over rated.
CooLbEAnS1096 0
snow is def over rated, I'm from Wisconsin and would love to switch places with ya
MrSassypants 34
at least ur mouth is washed look at da bright side of things
skatingalyy 0
that's just nastyy lol
crumpynfang 0
poor rice in the engine of her car, or hot sauce on her toothbrush!