Today, my psychotic grandma set fire to our Christmas tree because she refuses to let us celebrate what she calls a twisted pagan holiday. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my family and I were decorating the Christmas tree. It seemed a bit unstable, but we decorated it without any problems. Later, while my daughter sat by the tree, it began to fall. Her grandmother stopped the tree from hitting her. I, on the other hand, screamed like a little girl. I'm a 38 year-old guy. FML
Today, I was overseeing a nativity play rehearsal. Things went fairly well, until a boy's grandma stormed in, ranting that Christmas is a "Pagan abomination", and shouting for him and his mom to leave with her. Half the kids were left in tears, and we had to cancel the rehearsal. FML
Today, my grandma came over for the holidays. She tried explaining how Santa is actually Christ reincarnated, giving presents to all the good little Christian boys and girls. She'll be staying all week. FML
Today, it's that time of year again: my mom has threatened to disown me if I celebrate Christmas in any way, shape, or form. Yes, she is an extreme bible thumper. No, she doesn't see what is wrong with her behavior, nor does she care. FML
Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML
Today, I woke up to find our Christmas tree knocked over, unwrapped presents scattered everywhere, and my mom passed out on the sofa with a bottle of booze. Merry Christmas. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and decided to unwrap all my Christmas gifts and throw them at the wall. Ho, ho, ho. FML
Today, my perfectly healthy grandmother came to stay for Christmas. First, she persuaded my family to give her my bedroom. That would have been fine, until she demanded she should also have a bucket to piss in under my bed too. FML
Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending." She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML
Today, I woke up to my overly religious grandmother trying to shove salt down my throat yelling "DEMON BE GONE!". Why? I didn't wear the cross neckless she bought me. FML
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Top comments
airforce987 20
To be perfectly honest, the Christmas tree is actually adopted from Germanic pagan traditions and there is no proof that Jesus was born on December 25th. She has a valid point.
thatkid00117 16
What's a family holiday without unstable family members?
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Comments (161)
chasehf 4
December 25th is actually a pagen gods birthday and nobody knows Jesus Christ's real birthday. its supposedly sometime in summer
hotPinklipstick 24
Actually it's not. December 25th isn't anything special. Pagans celebrate Yule December 21st. Christians adopted many of the traditions and held the date close to Yule to make it an easier transition for Pagans to convert to Christianity.
geekbuscus 19
You. 62. I love you.
JunglePanfa 11
Hmm, setting fire to pine trees definitely sounds like a feasible start to a pagan ritual... Only joking haha :) Hope none of your other possessions were damaged OP, and no one was hurt. Crazy grandparents always seem to crop up on this site, makes me glad that mine are all lovely and sane!
BrittNic0le 9
Obviously, she wanted to see the tree all lit up.
griffy14 9
She actually used the Christmas tree the pagan way. Burning the Yule log. Oh irony.
pwnman 33
I can see the comments closing quickly...
LunaArgentum 3
You should inform her that the term pagan comes from the Catholic Church for anything that is not Catholic
RenoTheRhino 30
Have a jolly jolly Christmas! It's the best time of the year!
RenoTheRhino 30
****, my phone autocorrected the first "holly" to "jolly."
elmatador615 12
Is she a Jehovah's Witness? My family is and I can't celebrate Christmas or even my birthday. No presents for this guy.
honeybeeki 14
You don't have to be a Jehovah's Witness to know derivatives behind Christmas. There's a bunch of people and religions that don't celebrate Christmas.
elmatador615 12
Well I was just wondering because my friends's grandma is a Jehovah's Witness and his parents and him aren't and she like completely hates every holiday.
bessiemay01 5
There is another FML just like this. Almost word for word.
CyberGothic 16
Saturnalia is one of the pagan holidays celebrated roughly around that time of year, as is Yule. That particular time of year is relatively close to the Winter Solstice, which is considered a "Minor" Sabbat among pagans (such as myself).