Today, my psychotic grandma set fire to our Christmas tree because she refuses to let us celebrate what she calls a twisted pagan holiday. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my family and I were decorating the Christmas tree. It seemed a bit unstable, but we decorated it without any problems. Later, while my daughter sat by the tree, it began to fall. Her grandmother stopped the tree from hitting her. I, on the other hand, screamed like a little girl. I'm a 38 year-old guy. FML
Today, I was overseeing a nativity play rehearsal. Things went fairly well, until a boy's grandma stormed in, ranting that Christmas is a "Pagan abomination", and shouting for him and his mom to leave with her. Half the kids were left in tears, and we had to cancel the rehearsal. FML
Today, my grandma came over for the holidays. She tried explaining how Santa is actually Christ reincarnated, giving presents to all the good little Christian boys and girls. She'll be staying all week. FML
Today, it's that time of year again: my mom has threatened to disown me if I celebrate Christmas in any way, shape, or form. Yes, she is an extreme bible thumper. No, she doesn't see what is wrong with her behavior, nor does she care. FML
Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML
Today, I woke up to find our Christmas tree knocked over, unwrapped presents scattered everywhere, and my mom passed out on the sofa with a bottle of booze. Merry Christmas. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and decided to unwrap all my Christmas gifts and throw them at the wall. Ho, ho, ho. FML
Today, my perfectly healthy grandmother came to stay for Christmas. First, she persuaded my family to give her my bedroom. That would have been fine, until she demanded she should also have a bucket to piss in under my bed too. FML
Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending." She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML
Today, I woke up to my overly religious grandmother trying to shove salt down my throat yelling "DEMON BE GONE!". Why? I didn't wear the cross neckless she bought me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
airforce987 20
To be perfectly honest, the Christmas tree is actually adopted from Germanic pagan traditions and there is no proof that Jesus was born on December 25th. She has a valid point.
thatkid00117 16
What's a family holiday without unstable family members?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (161)
blackonblight 33
Psych hold might be called for for the arson, but good on her for knowing that Christmas was created as an amalgam of midwinter festivals in order to convert pagans, and just took the traditions directly, trees, gifts, fires, conspicuous amounts of lights, the works, from whatever local practices were popular.
SplashedInk 5
she's not lying about it being a pagan holiday though but lighting trees on fire is a bit extreme
Thunderstruck14 30
Glad the fire didn't spread and burn down everyone's homes :) That sucks though, good luck with your gma buddy
psychopsych 11
Christmas is a pagan holiday so...
dandancc 13
She's not totally wrong, though.
Felly1409 8
She's technically correct. It even says Christmas originated from Pagan traditions in the bible.
FancyBoxUnicorn 9
Well, she's not wrong... Christmas was originally a really crazy Pagan that lasted four days. And when the Christian church was trying to convert people to Christianity. And people were wondering if they could still celebrate Christmas so the church said sure, changed the name to Christmas, and said that Jesus was born on the 25. And over time it got less extreme and now it is what it is today.
Perfectlymusic 4
It is a pagan holiday, I don't celebrate Christmas. However she had no reason to set fire to your tree. She could have burned the house down.
RoyBar352 1
Well I wouldn't say it's a twisted pagan holiday, but it is a pagan holiday not a Christian holiday. It formed in the Germanic tribes (for germany) and yes they were pagan
Chris93Jones 20
draw a pentagram on the floor in red paint, she'll stop worrying about the tree.